|Reviews for Rinse It All Away|
| SPN-DayDreamer chapter 24 . 8/2/2016
Hmmmmmm. I struggled with how I felt about this story.
For starters, I think the plot and main conflict felt very original, refreshing, and just overall great. I don't think I've ever read this type of story for this fandom before, so that was very nice. Additionally, the characters had some pretty deep development moments, internal thoughts / introspection, and lots of "the feels" (which also conveyed out to me as a reader pretty well). For that, it's still a favorite of mine.
The writing style and plot holes is where I stumble a bit. I think if I looked at each individual chapter and rated each on their own (without knowledge of any other chapter/a larger story), I think almost all would be outstanding. A few of them, like the Ray/Max scene during the paparazzi stuff, or the picnic with friends scene, felt rushed, very short, and not a great use of the ensemble characters. I almost wanted to either push the ensemble characters' stories out, or bring them more into the story by giving them deeper dialogue, entire scenes or chapters to interact with Tyson and Kai or each other, and more development of their own feelings and thoughts throughout the story.
Aside from that, the transitions between some of the early chapters felt very jarring - I would double check that I didn't just skip a chapter when the mood swings (or rather, how Tyson's state of mind about his situation or the Kai-relationship) just completely changed without any warning. It was like the ending of one chapter for a character didn't match to the same character at all in the beginning of the next chapter. I think the best way to show this is by looking at how dark and twisty we start out between Kai and Tyson and the situation in general, and try and find the transition point to where Tyson is not in immense self-loathing or fear of Kai. It's almost overnight between two chapters where he's suddenly comfortable again (or at least it's suddenly not at all on his mind in the way it completely engulfed him earlier on). Again - the chapters individually are amazing, but they feel like an amazing writer wrote one, told a second amazing writer the plot for the next chapter (but without reading the first at all) like a game of Telephone, and then the second writer wrote that second amazing chapter. The two would stand on their own as great, but the transition between them and the feelings of the characters and their mindsets, etc. would be lacking.
I wish that the emotional turmoil and development between Kai and Tyson got dealt with more in the story rather than in those invisible transition moments.
On a selfish note, I wish that ending was longer or an epilogue to the epilogue of where they are a few years later. Were they finding that physical comfort and love that Tyson originally wanted? Would they always have a sense of the pain from before with each other? How do their friends still see the relationship years on? But this one is completely selfish - where this story did end is still a great spot and a strong send-off, and I especially liked the "end here for sad, end there for happy" note on Chapter 23 - so A on giving that choice and for being able to write a story that felt complete either place you stopped.
Overall, still a great story (I'd say B on a grade system). I just think there's something more to make it one of those timeless, essential-reading stories for the Beyblade fandom.
| Hibisha chapter 24 . 12/30/2014
Just re-read this for the 19th time and realized I nvr reviewed this. OwO"
OMG, one of the best stories out there! Loved it!
| ConsumedHatred chapter 24 . 4/23/2013
Really cute story, although I missed some adrenaline filled beybattling XD
| SilverShark15 chapter 24 . 12/30/2012
You know what? Your story actually made me cry because it was so emotional, and good at the same time. I love stories like this because the emotional toll on one character can cause very much drama to the story. I loved how there are actions of love and hate to one story. However, they didn't realize their true feelings until the end. I mean, I read like, a TON of stories that goes too quickly, and the only drama is the bad guys they put to the story. However, the only drama in this story is caused by the feeling of confusion, which lead to a clear thread of feelings from there on out ( which is a good thing ). Not many people put feeling into the stories, but your story has tons to the point where the reader can feel them. I cried when Kai left ( which, I rarely cry when it comes to stuff like this ), I felt the confusion and hurt when Tyson was figuring out his feelings for Kai. Hell, I felt the tension when it came to those moments. Oh, and I also loved how you include other characters besides the main characters in there ( Like Gramps, Max, & Rei ), especially when you put their own feelings into it. Like how'd they really react to stuff like this.
To the point. I loved it. A lot.
You are truely awesome. xD x3
| Guest chapter 24 . 7/22/2012
| Rukiabi chapter 1 . 8/16/2011
One word. Wow.
Scratch that. Two words.
... okay, so that was three.
But that's because you are just that amazing.
(Whoops, that's four!)
Okay, I'll stop now before I write a list as long as your chapter.
| Silverinumiko chapter 24 . 8/1/2011
I loved your story.
| Roger Gateriele chapter 24 . 7/6/2011
So you're basically saying that it's okay to stay with an abusive (almost rapist) individual, which will eventually lead to your death, instead of getting the help you need to actually survive.
I don't mean this to sound like a flame against you but I can honestly say that I'm glad that I'm not your friend in real life. I also advise you to do a little research into some of the subjects that you write about, no counselor would advise staying in an abusive (physical or mental) relationship.
| WhiteWinged259 chapter 24 . 6/13/2011
Given everything that I've read throughout the years and written myself, nothing has hit home more to me then this tale of a sorrowful sort. I'm (sort-of) going through the same thing right now. No rape or yelling, but the feeling of being trapped and tied down unwillingly. Knowing that if you move even the slightest away. He'll hurt you. Not physically, but with words, make you afraid to flee. Afraid, to flee. But also, knowing if you stay, you'll die inside. Slowly but surely. You fade away. Thank you so much for writing this story. It means a lot to me. You're a wonderful author and poet. Keep up the great work! I mean this from depths of my black and blue soul, Sister! :).
| random person with no life chapter 24 . 3/26/2011
I loved this :D! I am a slow reader... VERY slow.. so this took me 1 day to read.. and I mean all of the chapters of course :D! I LOVED THIS SO MUCH, the tension and everything about it was awesomenss ! WELL DONE 8D!
| homine chapter 24 . 3/22/2011
WOW... this was one of THE MOST POWERFUL STORIES I've EVER read in my few years of reading fanfiction! I started reading this yesterday and it just... BLEW MW AWAY! I just finished it and I'm SO SAD it's OVER! The descriptions were PERFECT and everything was... INCREDIBLY GREAT! VERY EXCELLENT! I just COULD NOT stop reading it! I'm SO glad Kai and Tyson got a happy ending! The story was SO sad! :( But it was BEAUTIFUL and I LOVED EVEY MOMENT! ONE of my new FAVORITE stories EVER! KEEP UP THE AMAZINGLY AWESOMELY FANTASTIC and WONDERFULLY MARVELOUSLY BRILLIANT WORK!
P.S. Maybe you could make a little companion piece to this? ;)
| Melmel Phase chapter 24 . 3/12/2011
Awwwwwww I loved this story from beginning to unsatisfied end! Though I loved it I with it was longer with a little more romance between Sexy Kai and the beautiful Tyson
| Melmel Phase chapter 18 . 3/11/2011
Kai just played her on her own show...I like that! I believe the term is called hoed!
| LazyLuck13 chapter 24 . 3/10/2011
I was waiting for it!At the beginning I was confused,I was like 'How does Kai see Tyson when he left him?',but I understood after I read the rest.I liked the part when the counselor asked Tyson how he was feeling,I like her!And I loved the end!A hug,so cute~It's a good epilogue for the story,it fits well...It's a great fic!But it's already finished... did a great work with this fic!Thanks!
| 1chucha2 chapter 24 . 3/10/2011
sigh.. so no "fun" in the end.. nor kiss... at least they hugged :) Thank you