Reviews for Deathly Unlikely
blake012 chapter 2 . 7/29/2011
blake012 chapter 1 . 7/29/2011
great chapter
Siri02 chapter 7 . 5/27/2006
It has great potential! I'm curious about Valkyrie's past and on what's going to happen next. I'm thinking that Dumbledore possibly suspects that Sertis is Harry. I'm also wondering, is this going to be one of those fics where there's a Dark Harry who then turns sides (or something like that) due to love?

Anyways, update soon!

Karen chapter 4 . 4/16/2006
This chapter was extremely well written.

You should not criticize yourself. Be proud of your work and stand by your writting, it can only improve with age and experience and it seems you've come a long way already.
DarkAngel048 chapter 7 . 4/2/2006
good fic!
Asher Elric chapter 2 . 3/30/2006


Shall read more later!
Asher Elric chapter 1 . 3/30/2006
Oh, I think I know where this is going!

Going on to next chapter!

*waiting to kidnap Van Helsing*


Katsy17 chapter 7 . 12/23/2005
cool chapter...
Rebellion Author chapter 7 . 12/15/2005
interessting, pls update soon. I like this idea of having Harry as a Death Eater instead of the heir to the dark side. Just one thing, if Malfoy's dad is a death eather wouldn't draco Malfoy reconise Harry er Seris.
Swathi chapter 7 . 12/15/2005
Ok, you have potential with this story and seem to be doing just fine until Sertis got to Hogwarts, you are adding to many characters without giving them proper characterization , needlessly and unrealistically; there are already enough characters in canon, use them! People shy away from original characters that serves no purpose besides being there.

Another point, in the last chapter you used the way 'Sertis' way too much! Try to replace it with 'He', 'Him' or even 'the boy' from time to time.

Furthermore, your characters are in the verge of being called 'mary sues', try to stay away from them.

I know you can do this better, some of the earlier chapters showed promise, I think getting a beta reader would do you a world of good, though. Now, I want you to take the way it was intended, as pointers to help you improve, this is not a flame, I think this can be better and that you can make it better.

Good luck!


PS: Please forvige any grammar mistakes in this review (English is not my native tongue).
HappyWoman chapter 7 . 12/14/2005
great story! Very unique.. I like it! :] Get the next chapter up soon!
The Eromancer chapter 7 . 12/14/2005
...good, but I'm confused. Hey while I can't see Sertis as the loving type(at all), I "can" see him being very passionet with just ONE girl, and Valkerie seems to be her. Yep, the liberastions of sex, read up about it, I'm sure Vodelmort doesn't discourage it.
The Eromancer chapter 4 . 12/14/2005
NO! Absolutly IMPOSSIBLE! no way he ould turn bakc to the fucking light side now, and I'l tell ya why. First off if you weigh the amount of tim he has for either life Harry Potter compaired to Sertis', Sertis easilly outweighs the Potter, so for starters not only would the old self not be brought back, it would be literally CRUSHED. Second. continuing on the scale thing, think about this, becasue the Sertis-life has more weight in this, he'd obviously still think more like Sertis, thus even if he DID regain all his old memories the majority party share holder of his mind (Sertis) would clearly see that the Durselys desrve to be killed and his old life is all dumbledore's fault, plus since his parents weren't killed by Volde, he'd really have no malice against him. And as for the Killing curse, wel... Sertis is still extremely loyal to Volde, he see himself as quite disrespectful and think he'd have deserved it.
Steph Malfoy chapter 7 . 12/14/2005
this is really good! i love stories about a 'dark Harry' there awsome. update soon!
The Eromancer chapter 2 . 12/14/2005

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