seperating it out would make it easier to read, and since i havent read it yet, i dont know everything thats going on but its still pretty good

Hm. That was... well, okay. The chapter was pretty short so I can't say much about it. The letter to Harry was in one sentence which was bleh. Those are a few changes you might want to make... especially with the whole body. It's kind of squished together... so space the lines out a bit.

Example.

"Hello, Ron."

"Hi, Hermione."

They kissed and lived happily ever after.

That would make it so much easier for the reader. If you do that, your fic will be a whole lot more enjoyable to read.

Update soon! I'd like to see where this goes.