Reviews for Secrets can bring love again
Guest chapter 10 . 9/8/2013
please put part 2
Team Demons chapter 10 . 1/17/2012
Please update and add a new chapter I know it's been a few years but i really like this story.

Thanks
Trinity1012 chapter 10 . 3/9/2009
Im totally loving this story so far and I can not wait for you to update and I really do hope that it is soon!

~Trinity
stephie2010 chapter 10 . 2/12/2007
hey. this is great! plz continue this ASAP!
mercuriancat chapter 10 . 12/26/2006
Hey hopestar, here's the review i promised. It's late but it's here! DAMN! THis was an exciting chapter! They both had their asses kicked, though I think Pan got the worst of it. I can't wait til the next chapter, so update soon, kay?
supersaiyanx chapter 10 . 11/17/2006
great story

hope that you update soon!
mercuriancat chapter 9 . 10/1/2006
Hm...Alright then. I can't wait til you actually update your story jes! I should update mine too, huh? _~
supersaiyanx chapter 9 . 9/18/2006
hey i hope that you do update soon it has been a while
supersaiyanx chapter 8 . 5/20/2006
wow i really like this fic, you are good!

I hope that you have written more chapters and that you update soon!

Thanks for the read...so far and don't forget to UPDATE !
Random Reader504 chapter 8 . 2/23/2006
I can deffinatly see the musical influence of Joseph and the Technicolored Dreamcoat in this musical chapter (fan, boat is, notice, dreams come true). It didn't quiet fit rythmically for me, but thats okay. Was that a conscious influence? Were there other influences too?
Megan Consoer chapter 8 . 2/23/2006
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
mercuriancat chapter 8 . 2/20/2006
Uh, oh! Wait, do Gohan and Vegeta (sigh) NOT know that they had all these kids? Lexy is confused! ;} Well, now I can't wait to see what happens next! I'll be waiting for ur next update!
Lynx the Tormentor chapter 5 . 2/12/2006
Hello there...okay there are some good and bad things about this story.

First with the good...

I like the story plot. It is actually what kept my interest. And I believe with a little help this story can be really good. You have a pretty cool twist on an old cliche. And I admire that.

Now with the bad...I won't be too harsh no worries.

Okay let's start with grammar and spelling. I believe a simple beta reader could help with your plight. They could go through and fix your mistakes. And help the story flow more. It's obvious you're excited about writing and that is good. But don't rush. Take your excitement, calculate it out, and take your time. The longer it takes the better it gets. Revise...revise...revise.

Now there's the rushing part. You story is a bit rushed. And that's okay. You'll improve as you go along. Just remember to make things as realistic as possible. There will be plot holes no matter what. But take a sequence of events and space them out where they're believably. That way your story flows a lot better.

And here's my pet peeve. The spacing of the character's dialogue. You write all their dialogue together into one big jumbled paragraph, like this,

(“What is it dad?” asked TJ “I have talk with Uub, Oriona, and Bra and found out what they been up to.” I said “Really? What was dad?” Chloe asks surprisingly nervous “They are hosting a reunion upcoming soon and you can stop faking Chloe because I know your part of it.” “To let you know it was all Oriona’s idea.” Chloe implies “To the news even more interesting, guess that is coming?” “Course grandma Bulma and grandpa Vegeta will there.” Vega stated “Is it Gohan and Videl?” asked Tinon “Yes they are but they aren’t the surprise.” “Is it Goku?” “You wish Tinon.”)

It's confusing to the readers. Well at least to me. Spacing the dialouge out would help with the flow of the story. And flow is good...remember that. You should always start another line when another character speaks...like so:

(“What is it dad?” asked TJ “I have talk with Uub, Oriona, and Bra and found out what they been up to.”

“Really? What was dad?” Chloe asks surprisingly nervous

“They are hosting a reunion upcoming soon and you can stop faking Chloe because I know your part of it.”

“To let you know it was all Oriona’s idea.” Chloe implies

“To the news even more interesting, guess that is coming?”

“Course grandma Bulma and grandpa Vegeta will there.” Vega stated

“Is it Gohan and Videl?” asked Tinon

“Yes they are but they aren’t the surprise.”

“Is it Goku?”

“You wish Tinon.”)

See easier to read and understand which characters are talking and to who.

This story has a lot of promise. And I'd like to see where it goes. If you want you can email me at and we can talk more.

Hope I wasn't too harsh. But remember if you like writing keep doing it. It makes you happy and that's all that matters.
mercuriancat chapter 7 . 2/4/2006
OH! I can't wait until the next update! But I'm gonna have to... ;}
Megan Consoer chapter 6 . 1/2/2006
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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