|Reviews for Untouchable|
| HappyDeathFairy chapter 1 . 10/9/2011
It's so sad yet so beautiful! By the way, I LOVE that song as well and after reading your disclaimer I decided to re-listen to that song over and over again! Thanks! :D
| Princess Emmanuella chapter 1 . 7/10/2010
I am a big Starfire fan, but strangly I loved the story. I mean it touch me deep inside. So I guess this is one of my favorites! It touched me deep inside.
P.s. Thanks for the good story!
| sta-r-obin Natalie XD chapter 1 . 8/11/2009
this was wounderful :) i totally loved it! and it made me very sad, so job well done lol!
Luv: Natalie XD
| RySenkari chapter 1 . 5/24/2007
This is a good story, but like I said on the board, I don't really like character death very much... especially Starfire... _; I won't go into the logistics of Starfire vs. Slade, it's understandable that were he to get the jump on her he could probably beat her, but... a lethal beating? That Raven couldn't heal?
Eh, the idea of the fic is Starfire dying, and it was very emotionally done... you're right about Robin, he's too obsessive for his (and Starfire's) own good. The songfic parts were annoying, I pretty much ignored them... but the song does fit.
Overall, this is a well-written fic, the mechanics are there, description, spelling, grammar... it just wasn't to my taste. But if it's the way you like to write, and you do it well (which you absolutely do), then don't change just for me. _ I can just invision a happier ending in my head, lol...
| Vandagirl chapter 1 . 5/6/2007
Your specialty? Tragedy? Naw! :P
As a whole, it was great! The beginning especially, which was probably one of the best introductions to a story that I've read in at least a while. What was said in that beginning section was very insightful and wasn't only good for the story, but for the readers' own lives. The only people who could not like that beginning are the people who cannot handle the truth.
What was in italics served well for the story. At first when I read it, it didn't connect that smoothly for some reason. Now that I've skimmed through each individual part I understand, but your transitions seemed a little rough. There were probably more flashbacks in this fic than what I'm used to so that could be the reason why they didn't transition well in my mind, but perhaps next time if you're going to have multiple flashbacks in a one-shot you could make them you could focus more on the present in between them. But hey, this is an old fic, so you probably already know better.
But like I said, the content in the italics was great. It definitely added well to Robin's character and how he regretted saying all those things to Starfire now that she's on her death bed. The song lyrics added well to it too.
The ending was on the cliche side, but it wasn't bad. In fact I really liked the ending too. I don't mind cliches when they're done well but there are those who can't stand them even if they're more well-written than a Stephen King book or something. But like I said, I liked the ending a lot. I won't brood over the fact that Starfire died because it helped Robin recognize his major flaw. It's such a shame that it had to take her dying for him to find it out. But alas, sometimes people are like that. It takes the worst of tragedies to make a person grow. I don't agree with the reviewer who said that Robin should have died, because then he wouldn't have had the chance to redeem himself and his growth in this story wouldn't have been there...
I think the last thing I'll comment on is Raven's character. She played an important role in this fic and her part suited her, but some of the dialogue you gave her seemed OOC.
“ROBIN! Stop it! You’re only mad because...because SLADE IS RIGHT!”
To me, that phrase in particular didn't suit her well. Maybe it was the "Slade is right" part in all caps, and probably the hesitation to say it (because...because), especially since it was later explained that she "didn't look intimidated or ashamed of what she said." The sentence obviously needed to be said but if it was phrased differently then it would be more IC. There were a few other pieces of dialogue by Raven that are like that but I nitpicked the most significant one. I also couldn't imagine her saying, "oh stop it." She would just say, "Stop it" rather than frill up her demand with an "oh," do you know what I mean?
But other than all that and a few mechanical things you could catch and fix yourself, I believe that is it!
| Creative Spark chapter 1 . 4/15/2006
Robin is not that angry. It should have been Robin who died.
| Madness Hero chapter 1 . 3/11/2006
A melancholy triumph, excellent work.
| Luna Rapunzel chapter 1 . 1/26/2006
Augh. Does your specialty really HAVE to be tragedy? I mean, it's wicked awesome and all, but I'm feeling waves of fanfiction-related empathy here, and it's killing me.
Nice job, though. Very, very, VERY nice job.
| Brittany chapter 1 . 9/16/2005
Wow. Beautiful. I loved the flash backs. I loved the drama and intensity. Wonderful. So sad. *sniff*
| SamCram2121 chapter 1 . 8/17/2005
that was good
my only comment is that the other members of the tem just sat there when she was dieing..why?
| starangel4eva chapter 1 . 8/17/2005
oh man that was a bad ending but i just noticed something i was just in south carolina aweek or two ago . let me tell you one thing i loved , the oys were so dam cute anyway that is all
| Midnight Raining Down chapter 1 . 8/17/2005
IT'S ME! I read it, and yes, I confess, your writing is better than mine, but I wasn't afraid of that. :) That was sad! -Crys, okay not for real- -Sinff, sniff- Bye!
| kay jolyn chapter 1 . 8/17/2005
Amazing...wonderfully written! Oh, but so so sad :tear: You captured the obsessive, almost evil part of Robin perfectly, and I'm impressed that you even caught the root of his obsessiveness: his desire to protect his team mates.
I almost feel sorry for Robin. He had to meet his greatest fear, AND realize it was all his fault all at the same time. Poor thing.
And I loved the volleyball scene. It was so cute and refreshing, and I just loved when Robin ran back to give Star a hug. Very, very cute.
While I'm just heartbroken that Starfire had to die, it seemed to...fit somehow. At least she went happy. I adored their conversation, and that kiss! :tear:
| Girl Wonder 2005 chapter 1 . 8/17/2005
you're just too good at being a philosopher... just too good , like Mark Twain... just to good.
| BurningFantasy chapter 1 . 8/16/2005
that was so sad (sobs) but i loved it. i truely did. Your writing skills are...amazing! i love how you stitched the words togther to make such an appealing story! write more soon!