|Reviews for Part the First|
| Sakiina chapter 13 . 12/6/2005
Hmm - you write Snape in the third person and others in the first... I wonder why. It's interesting. Is it an issue with the character getting away with you?
Your italics are driving me mad, now that someone's mentioned it (I noticed in one of the reviews for AST)... It makes me think of a line in the Preface to /Mere Christianity/, which Google Books has so happily allowed me to find (my first time using google book search!)... background: Lewis made the books from a series of lectures.
"And wherever, in the talks, I had made the importance of a word clear by the emphasis of my voice, I printed it in italics [in the first edition of Mere Christianity]. I am now inclined to think that this was a mistake - an undesirable hybrid between the art of speaking and the art of writing. A talker ought to use variations of voice for emphasis because his medium naturally lends itself to that method: but a writer ought not to use italics for the same purpose. He has his own, different, means of bringing out the key words and ought to use them." (page vii)
That advice has stuck with me better than the point of the book, I think... *grin*
Your bloody hands made me think of Macbeth, and your funeral made me think of Mark Twain - nice job there!
Oy vey - it dawned on me at the beginning of this chapter the solution to your "killing" of harry... and the fact that it's a severitus fic confirms it. And of course the bit about ginny in your userinfo lends support as well. Hee hee! You don't know how exciting it is for me to have a key to the work ahead of time... But I won't say what I'm thinking (it *has* to be right...) because that could be considered a spoiler lurking in the comments... *grin*
| Aisalynn chapter 13 . 10/16/2005
o... brilliant ending.
| fhippogriff chapter 6 . 9/18/2005
I've been reading thru your story and had to stop here just to do a short review. I think you need to rework your summary, because this is a MUCH better story than the summary suggests. I skipped reading it several times, and, boy, was that a mistake. I love the roiling anger inside Harry and how you describe it. Very interesting Severitis. I also like the structure where you tell things that happened after the fact.
Onward to finish it now.
| mika chapter 9 . 9/12/2005
Well, if there is anything I have to "flame" about in this story, it would have to be the choppy way you change the scenes and characters. Sometimes I end up a bit confused about whos point of view it is. Also the laps of time between each scene is also a bit confusing. That's biggest thing I can see that keeps your story from being Fantastic and not just Good.
Hehe, I guess this was more of a constructive criticism.
I do prefer the stories I read to be Harry alone or some other slash story with him, and I am not crazy about Ginny at all, so... my flame could be about her! X3
"omg!1 how can u put that bicch giny w/ harry!1he and snape were like ment to b!1!v gini is stoopid and shouldnt nkow half th things she does abot harry! you r such a inkompettant writor!"
| BabyDragon848 chapter 13 . 9/9/2005
Great story! A lot of anger and hatred though i hope Harry isn't dead.
| BlackStar chapter 13 . 9/5/2005
You are great. Love you story so much. Brillant is the only word I can think of. Going off to read the sequel now.
| Nightmare Alley chapter 13 . 9/5/2005
I knew Harry would be alive, somehow, the entire time...but the reactions coming from everyone were interesting. Remus's reaction made me want to cry... :( I'm surprised Snape didn't figure out Dumbledore's password.
Anyway, I will definitely be checking out the sequel. Great job with this one. Best Severitus ever award. :)
| Nox Noctis Angelus chapter 13 . 9/5/2005
Please update soon, great chapter.
| duj chapter 13 . 9/5/2005
Of course that password didn't contradict the whole chapter in any way, did it? Why does he have to be hidden?
| Iaurhirwen chapter 13 . 9/4/2005
OMG! What a great chapter and end to the first instalment of such a great story. All throughout that chapter I was thinking, much like I was at the end of HBP, "no, there has to be something else going on. There is some logical explination to be had." And if that password is any hint, I was right. Ok. I must go and read the first chapter of Part the Second. Looking forward to finding out what is going on. Oh, and do you know that I love you for giving the world a story as good as this. Well I do! Toodles
| ydole3343 chapter 13 . 9/4/2005
ah! what? cant wait for the next part...
| ydole3343 chapter 12 . 9/4/2005
aasdlkfjds ahh so much going on..some of the POV stuff was confusing, i had to re read the tonks/lucius stuff a few times to figure out what was going on..
| Prairie City chapter 13 . 9/4/2005
Now that is ridiculous...WHY must you continuously write these awful, horrid cliffhangers? *sniffs*
I really love the end though. 'Ridiculous password, that-'alive'-
Very nice...can't wait for Part the Second. Must go put you on Author's Alert as well now...*sighs*.
All together, I absolutely love this story. This weeks just been wonderful...Severitus updated A Father's Sin after a year and a half hiatus! I had completely given up hope...
I must say though...I think your stories are just as good as Severitus'.
| duj chapter 12 . 9/4/2005
| Danu3 chapter 13 . 9/4/2005
Amazing. I'm barely breathing here. I wasn't sure what to answer when you asked how long you should keep the Tobias Snape charade up, but maybe just until Voldemort's gone, because it's not fair to Remus especially to make him think that now he has no one you know? I don't know. I find it very difficult to deal with sad endings, though I do manage them. I figure life sucks enough, books are a place for the dead to come back. Doesn't matter, story'll be great either way. I have no right to say update soon, because twice in two hours is soon enough, so just good job! Can't wait to read more!