|Reviews for Part the First|
| Arwen1604 chapter 13 . 9/4/2005
This is so interesting! I cannot wait for the next installment...I won't say more, *spoilers* but this chapter was a HUGE surprise...and the reactions were spot on. Keep it up!
| Danu3 chapter 12 . 9/4/2005
Amazing. You should be so happy with this chapter. I would be. It's amazing.
| Prairie City chapter 12 . 9/4/2005
You're evil! Your only saving grace is the 'up in one hour or so' line, otherwise I would not be held accountable for my actions.
Have I told you how much I love your story lately?
As to the switching of point of views and from third to first person, I don't mind so much except it took me a while to figure out Mad-Eye's POV. It was well written, just a bit of a surprise. Good job, and update *quickly*. Readers are dying here.
| Arwen1604 chapter 11 . 9/4/2005
WOW! I've been off the comp for a week with no power, and I get on to discover this story recommended by Potions and Snitches, and all I can say is WOW! Please, continue this story! I can't wait to see what happens next.
Your writing style at first for me was a little hard to follow at times-but then I realized you have a pattern that makes the story a little more interesting than an average one-your so descriptive-this past chapter I had tears. I hope that the relationship between Snape and Harry evens out, but I HAtE it when a father/son story starts off with Snape being all happy and everything about suddenly gaining a son, a not just any son, but the Hated Golden Boy of Gryffindor. It is VERY unrealistic-even though I know that the AU I love so much is just as unrealistic. What makes a good story is keeping the CHARACTERS canon, but not the situations. You have done that SO good...I love strong Harry and Snarky Snape. I really can't wait for the update-do you have a YAHOO group? A lot of my fav. authors have groups where people can chat, share links, and get emails for updates. I'm off to check your livejournal! LOVE LOVE LOVE your story!
| destroying tokyo chapter 11 . 9/4/2005
Good. I must admit I had some doubts about this fic but it turned out alright. Though, the emphasis on Harry's romantic life is a little annoying. I tend to think it ruins the Harry/Snape dynamic. But the fic's still good inspite of that.
I feel rather that Harry and Snape got on a little too quickly and that there was a lack of character developement...among all the characters actually. Your double agent parts seem a bit forced as well.
But it's still worth the read. Your writing's good. I don't recall seeing any grammar mistakes or misspellings. There was the annoying POV changes. I don't care so much that you changed perspectives, but changing from third person limited to first person to third person omniscient...it was a little grating. At least you didn't attempt second person. I have never come across someone who actually pulled off second person.
All said your fic is good and has the potential to be great if you shape it up a bit. Granted, it's already one of the better Snape-as-Harry's-dad fics. Though, truthfully, as long as you write in complete sentences and have minimal spelling and grammar errors, that status is a given.
I enjoy the story. The plot's interesting. You need to work on character developement a bit and fleshing things out. I would be more specific than that but at the moment my brain has left me. Still, good fic.
I do hope you don't find my criticism offensive. I realize that I was a bit repetitive.
| ydole3343 chapter 11 . 9/4/2005
your ch. titles are all just so uplifting! Lol no but seriously, ick towards lucius. Agh i cant wait for the next chapter...and its sunday already so it should be out soon! unless you meant saterday as in next week..hope college is going well!
| ydole3343 chapter 10 . 9/4/2005
got a bit behind in the story due to school so i only now got a chance to read the chapter, and aghh *kicks dumbledore* I dont think Snape should give up his spyingness but he should atleast find out what he can on the situation. And um..we as needers need to find out whats going on as well!
| LittleCMarie chapter 11 . 9/3/2005
This is a really cool story.
I can't wait to find out what happens next... what is Stone Hollow?
| duj chapter 10 . 9/3/2005
Even in the worst extremity, having something to do is a comfort.
| duj chapter 11 . 9/3/2005
| E. M. Pink chapter 11 . 9/2/2005
I just want to add that my review responses will now go in my livejournal here:
w . livejournal users/uchethegirl/
So do check there, for replies to your questions and whatnot. Don't be afraid to ask anything!
(The Author retires back to writing Chapter 12)
| Antigonesev chapter 11 . 9/2/2005
WOW. great story! I'm loving how you write all of the characters and add input from each point of view, especially Severus's... :)
| BeckiSoup chapter 11 . 9/2/2005
evil cliffhanger! wah! please update soon! please please please please!
| BlackStar chapter 11 . 9/2/2005
just had to say that i love your story and can't wait for the next chapter.
| lisa32 chapter 9 . 9/2/2005
Hi, I'm really enjoying your story. I like Harry's dilemna. The only part I don't really like is when you switch into first person. It is confusing at first and you lose a lot of the overview that makes the story more cohesive. I find myself skipping over it and then i miss things that i would otherwise see. thanks for the story