|Reviews for Everyone Has A Secret Part 2|
| Markos chapter 15 . 7/18/2006
You need to learn about military. You need to learn about medicine. You need to learn about fighting. You need to learn about court. You need to learn about war. You need to learn about history. Also you need to learn use of English language.
Especially you need to lose Maria Sue.
Imagination is good. Story which makes no sense is bad. Story could have been good if you did not make stuff up while going along.
I am writing story involving court martial. Is not HH story. I researched so much on court martial now I could maybe conduct one. Is probably not story anyone will ever read. Is not good enough. I wanted to do it right. Getting facts right makes story better not worse.
Maria Sue gets shot then shows she can out fight any man? Have you ever heard word shock? Have you ever seen someone hurt? Is kind of thing that makes story bad.
Real things are not prison to confine story. Real things are skeleton to support story. When most things are like real, then things you change matter. When most things are not real, then there is not suspense. Story is cartoon. Not good cartoon either.
| Jousting Elf with a Sabre chapter 15 . 2/16/2006
YAY! *Tosses hat into the air* EVERY ONE IS SAFE! YAY! *Dances around in happy circle.*
Well, I have to run, but I read all of your Maria stories, and you are right. Good job writing them by the way.
All the best,
Jousting Elf with a Sabre
| another reader chapter 15 . 9/16/2005
First of all, let me say that I can tell you have great potential as a writer, and you have a very active imagination. But I think the imagination went a little too far with this story. Everyone was SO totally out of character, it was very hard to read. Hogan having to salute the Mary Sue character? (or at least one of them)? Hitler, who took millions of lives indiscriminately, changing his plans because one woman slept with him? Hogan calling a woman a whore, and then marrying her in the next chapter?
Everything was so unrealistic, both in reality and in the character of the show, that it became utterly unbelievable. It reads very much like a soap opera, with people sleeping with each other, relationships that are made and broken off for no good reason, and twisted plots that could not exist in real life.
I do hope that you will write again. I think you have great potential. (I would suggest getting a beta reader to help you develop that.) But I also hope that you will take a little more care with the actual characters and situations that exist in the show.
| JacobedRose chapter 15 . 9/16/2005
I'm so glad they all came to defend him! I'm glad he was found not guilty, but what is he going to do now? What are they going to do now? Please update soon.
| Reader chapter 7 . 9/16/2005
Hi. A couple of comments here. First of all, appreciate how much work you've put into your story. You manage to get so much out in such a short period of time; don't know how you do it! But to be fair I must also tell you that I am finding this difficult to read. I find Hogan very out of character in some places (I can't ever imagine him calling a woman a whore, no matter who she is- certainly not to her face), and Maria's character comes across as some kind of Superwoman- and pregnant? And sleeping with Hitler? And then marrying Hogan? For a show that already stretches the boundaries of suspension of disbelief, this just seems a bit much.
Still, I admire the amount of effort you've made... but I have to stop reading. Keep working though, there is lots of potential if you can reign in the characters.
| HoganTime chapter 15 . 9/16/2005
Thanks for updating so fast! It was nice to see al those prisoners standing up for Klink and I really liked the story. Thanks for sharing!
| Scotty McSpockirk chapter 15 . 9/16/2005
You finnished it! Wah! Such a good story shouldn't come to and end! Well, anyways I really like the chapter. I was nice that the Hogans all those people stood up for Klink.
Upda-er, write a new HH story soon!
| GSJessica chapter 15 . 9/16/2005
What a rollicking ride you've taken us on! Thanks for the fun trip! A happy ending, yet I must say a bit more is needed-either another chapter, or a sequel, to explain Misty and Marie's comments about the tv show, where they're from, how they got there, and how or if they're satisfied to stay.
| GSJessica chapter 14 . 9/15/2005
I hope you don't keep Klink scared too long! I'm feeling bad for him.
| JacobedRose chapter 14 . 9/15/2005
They're married! That's great! I love their paring and I'm glad. It will probably take Carter awhile though to start thinking of Hogan as his father-in-law. Waiting is horrible, I hope they can cheer him up. Keep it up!
| GSJessica chapter 13 . 9/14/2005
Ah... Misty is hot for Carter! Sweet ;-)
| JacobedRose chapter 13 . 9/14/2005
I'm glad Hogan took them home to meet his mother. That was cool and I love that Misty went to see Carter. The way you showed the differences of opinion was well done and I'm glad they introduced Klink as a friend first. Now it's back to Stalag 13! Please update soon!
| Scotty McSpockirk chapter 13 . 9/14/2005
You updated! Yay! I loved the part when mrs. hogan said that klink could call her momma!LOL! When it read that i laughed so hard i ended up spitting on the moniter* blushes*. And little robbie is learning how to talk? How adorable! The part when hogan arivved home was so touching! And Misty likes Carter, huh? Aw...Keep it comin'!
| HoganTime chapter 12 . 9/13/2005
Awesome chapter! The only thing that confused me was that by downgrading Hogan in rank he was made a General instead of a Colonel? Maybe the next chapter will clear things up, so Im anxiously waiting for it!
| Scotty McSpockirk chapter 12 . 9/12/2005
U updated! Awesome! I was just so sweet I think I'm gonna cry...JUST KIDDIN'!LOL! whatever...great chapter. i espesially liked the part where Newkirk stood up for Klink. that was tiny thing confused me though(I'm always confused..LOL). General Whimbley said that Hogan could be downed in rank...but... laters on in the chappie i seemed like he made him general?Well, anyhoo it was a great chapter and I loved it. One other thing...I thought of something awhile ago when I was taking a bath(LOL). Earlier...In part 1 i think, maria recieved a letter..I just thoug, was that letter from Klink? Well UPDATE VERY VERY VERY SOON!
BTW, I'm having a fight with my sis. she says that i have to review people formally just because i don't know them personally. What do you think? _