|Reviews for Clever Hans|
| Kalisko chapter 1 . 3/7
Hey, with Shadowrun coming back with Harebrained Schemes, think you would start this up again as well? It should get some more attention.
Also, Blackwand Chronicles, another awesome fic you have going?
| Unnormal Child chapter 1 . 6/4/2012
the thing is i've never heard about "Clever Hans" before, so, before reading this story, i should have researched everything about it. and so... I decided to read.
my applauses - this story has a great plot, storyline and, well, eveb though you didn't finish it, I don't regret time i spent reading.
hope it'll get an update one day :)
| Zuzanny chapter 3 . 7/30/2010
I am still unfamiliar with this fandom, but I very much enjoyed reading this fic. it has me interested.
I was wondering if Hans was a victim of organ donation?
I would like to read more of this.
| Zuzanny chapter 1 . 7/29/2010
I am really enjoying this fic so far, even though I don't know the genre it is from. I look forward to being able to read the next couple chapters. :)
| Wandering the Arid Sea chapter 3 . 12/28/2008
Very good stuff. Shame you don't update it.
Hope to see more soon. And if not...well...one less spot in favs.
| J22 chapter 3 . 11/11/2008
So far this is my favourite story of yours, it definitely needs updating.
| FuzzyBoots chapter 3 . 3/30/2008
An interesting tale. Given you say that this is all that you have written up and this last updated in 2005, I'm guessing we'll never hear if Hans was successful in either discovering his identity or saving the girl. Still, fun to read.
| KuMardagg chapter 3 . 3/18/2008
Hopefully someday you'll finish this...
What sort of adept powers does Hans have, anyway? Increased reflexes, improved stats, improved skills? Killing hands? Mystic armor?
I was going to protest the chapter 1 troll's use of the knife "fighters grip", point down, since using a knife in such a position decreases your range, and is more suited to defense than attacking. However, I remembered that trolls get 1 reach, and are damn tall. Point down would offer greater defensive ability, be useful for attacking a target much shorter than yourself, and trolls don't really have to worry about range.
Should Hans ever have to deal with trolls again, I recommend directly attacking the arms, instead of considering them obstacles defending more "valuable" targets. Without arms, most opponents are unable to fight or defend themselves. An elbow attack can devastate an incoming punch, and a quick parry followed by elbow attacks to an arm can disable it.
Once the arms are out of the way, it's easy pickings on the head and torso...
| The Unicorn chapter 3 . 8/12/2007
Very nice story and belivable characters. Do you have any plans to complete the story?
| CattyNebulart chapter 3 . 6/17/2007
fairly interesting. Good job overall.
| ttd chapter 3 . 3/18/2007
Good story so far, and an interesting genre. Perhaps a little fighting-heavy, but gripping stuff.
| Cwejr chapter 3 . 9/19/2006
More, Please. Three chapters and I am hooked, severely. The story is so real, that I am living it thru the eyes of Hans. I need more.
| Quizer chapter 3 . 3/1/2006
Another good story. Not as enjoyable to me as the others, not by far, but enough to prove once again you are a very skilled writer.
The German language employed in this fic is atrocious, however. I would know, I'm a native German myself. I don't blame you, however, I heard German is a very difficult language to learn, and if you don't know it at all, well, you're basically screwed trying to write it.
I'm willing to help you out, though, if you care enough to correct the mistakes. The bar is spelled in two different ways, but both are wrong. Unless misspelled on purpose, the name's 'Unglaublich' (note the L), which means 'Unbelievable'.
The sourcebook you mention; again, unless deliberately spelled wrong, should be called 'Deutschland in den Schatten', the translation supplied is accurate.
The term 'liebchen' which Madga uses as an endearment isn't one used in today's German at all. Right now, I can think of two possible substitutes: You could either use 'liebling', if you wanted the word root to stay the same. The term is purely affectionate, however, and not something you use on someone you just met. I believe you should substitute with 'Schätzchen'. The word is both affectionate and derisory, and depending on tone of voice and the kind of relationship between the persons concerned, a strong emphasis can be placed on either quality. The way Magda comes across otherwise, it would definitely be affectionate and slightly teasing, which I think is what you originally intended. Only problem is where to get the 'ä' 'Umlaut'-character, as it probably isn't on your keyboard. should allow the character, though, unlike many non-character symbols which just get zapped (annoys me to no end as well).
The 'Da' word she uses frequently has me stymied, though. I have absolutely no idea on what your intention with it is. If you wanted to replace it, you'd have to tell me exactly what it is supposed to mean, or give me an English equivalent.
And if you want for Hoffman's name to sound German (as you probably do, since he is the equivalent of a neonazi), you should write it with two N at the end. Same goes for other names that end with man(n).
There was another location name that was misspelled which I can't remember right now, although Chapter 3 seemed to be clean.
Otherwise, this story is interesting enough. Just a little too much fighting for it to be a really fun read, but I guess that is inherent if it is based on this type of game. As long as you have other projects, I won't be sad if this gets put on hold indefinitely.
| Malaskor chapter 3 . 12/7/2005
Excellent story, I hope you continue this at some time in the (near?) future.
Now my guess for the secret - he is similar to Ryan Mercury (aka Quicksilver). Do I need to spell that out? If yes I can do so of course :)
| Braeden Flynn chapter 3 . 10/15/2005
Aw, this is the end of the story for now? I think you should keep working on it... This and one other story inspired me to make and adept, plus this is more of a cliff hanger ending than anything.