|Reviews for Meet Again SP Version|
| Raye chapter 1 . 11/19/2005
I agree with your thought that the fic does feel rushed at places -particularly the end. I also think it was a mistake not to go into more detail with the Salome-Zetta final battle. It is, after all, fairly pivotal in their relationship.
However, I also know from experience that it's no easy scene to write. And your take on their reunion was absolutely fascinating. I think it's great how you've expanded on this game. Your scene between Salome and Seedle was very powerful, though the meeting between Salome and Zetta felt rushed and was difficult to follow. Still, I'm impressed by the length and ambition in your writing. Don't stop.
I've just finished writing my own Salome fic, and I have the first three chapters posted on my own site. Since you have such an obvious interest, knowledge and appreciation, for the game, I'd love to hear your thoughts via email on my own efforts. You can find it by going to my site, clicking on "fanfiction" and then clicking on "Non-Suikoden". Thanks.
| DebiruFlonne chapter 1 . 10/9/2005
A truly enjoyable work of fiction. While I'm not much for romantic stories, this one was well crafted - and it suited the characters as they are presented in the game. I'm especially fond of the flashbacks and I felt they were incorporated perfectly.
Please keep writing.
I wanted to mention that I'm noticing a trend in your editing style. When you use dialogue, you have a tendency to separate the entire quoted speech from the rest of the paragraph - that is not proper editing, and it gives the story a choppy feel.
To fix this, simply remove the paragraph break between the speech and the speaker's actions.
Example of your style: "What?"
Zetta asked, incredulous.
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Well, you see..."
Instead, just group everything the speaker said with his or her actions.
"What?" Zetta asked, incredulous, "What does that have to do with anything?"
Salome smiled, "Well, you see..."
I think this will smooth the flow of your writing. Apart from that, I really enjoy your use of words and creativity. Happy writing!
| Bella chapter 1 . 8/31/2005
I'm just...amazed! I knew the summary was short, but what you did with it was fantastic! To make something out of virtually nothing is an important skill to have when writing, and you definitely have it! Seedle didn't immediately spiral into insanity from the start, which was good. I didn't feel the ending was rushed, and it was amusing to see Zeta trying to hold onto his stubborness until the end. He's a lot like how Laharl would have turned out without Etna and Flonne's efforts, and it's good to see he's still not beyond redemption when it comes to things like caring for another person. Thank you again for fleshing out one of my favourite couples. I've got to send you the drama CD tracks soon, you haven't lived till you've heard Zeta propose to Alex!