|Reviews for Mahoromatic New Beginnings|
| Nukem999 chapter 26 . 8/22/2013
It took me a LOOONG time to finish this story and I have to say...it was well worth the read. I'm a huge Mahoromatic fan and despite some things I felt needed tweaking, this was a worthy successor to the story and I think you combined faithfulness and originality to the story itself. I thought it was brilliant how you "merged" the anime's ending as a dream into this story, you didn't just "ignore it" completely like most do; you incorporated it and made it a part of the story while still telling your own tale and that is most impressive. My favorite part was how you handled Mahoro and Suguru's relationship. You made them feel in love, feel happiness and everything from marriage to children to intimacy was covered and I loved that. Mahoro's escalation to a more risque approach to intimacy was handled excellently and it felt natural for her character, it was honestly my favorite aspect of the whole story; seeing how far she would raise the stakes so to speak.
I was a little iffie on the Twins pairing with Miyuki and Chizu but you made it work and I think, for the most part, they make cute couples. Being someone who adores romance (even as a male), I applaud your celebration of love by having so many pairings in one story. Mahoro with the adult tape was adorable and seeing Shikijo flip out on the principal was a very nice scene; I really didn't expect that. Bringing everyone in as one big family with the android secret was the next inevitable step and I think you played it out accurately.
Now I do have some criticisms but I don't mean them in negative spirits so please don't take them as that. I'm not gonna point out the script format since you already mentioned you wanted to change that. I do feel Riku and Kaito could benefit from further fleshed out personalities. They would seem more like real characters instead of just convenient pairings for the two girls if they had quirks or things about them that made them more human so to speak. I like the idea of Mahoro meeting her other combat sisters, but they seemed to be a bit too folded in considering everything else that is going around; they felt a bit like too much of a crammed concept at the time. The only pairing and character I felt was a bit off was Ryuga and Shikijo. They seemed together for the sake of being together, sort of like the "mega happy ending" from Wayne's world which is kind of what this story felt like, which is a good thing in my opinion.
However, I just thought Shikijo seemed out of character at times. It's nice seeing her be so cozy with Mahoro but she still has a rival like streak with her and even if she knows Suguru is off the market, her wild side is part of who she is so that might be something to consider. One last thing and I know this is repeating myself from before but...if you do fix/update this story from the script format I please ask you remove the part about Mahoro's lifeline exceeding Suguru's...it's really a depressing thought. I just think if she's reborn and all, she could have a normal human lifespan (give or take) so she doesn't have to get depressed outliving Suguru AND probably they're kids if they had any. That's the one thing I feel really keeps the relationship from being more sweet and passionate than it could be, everything else you've wrote for them has been perfect. So yeah lol, sorry for the LOONG review and rambling on and on but, this was a wonderful story and I feel you did and said so much with this story that it really impressed me with your lengthy dedication to it. Here's hoping you not only remake/redo this story, but you make more Mahoro fics in the future. Very nice job!
| Nukem999 chapter 2 . 6/25/2013
I think the shows ending I'd actually not as bad as people think if given the proper context. Either way, this is a very well laid out and put together story. There's a lot of good stuff here.
Pros: the discussing the truth about everything, Sugurus reaction after the battle, and the friends getting into the high school from the grandfather, really nice touches. The episode/script format also does help make if seem like the series.
Cons: the script format also loses its effect with the whole animation intro/outro parts. Kinda hard to feel when you can't see/hear an opening. I personally do not like the fact Mahoros body will exceed Sugurus lifespan. Her longevity is just gonna make Suguru suffer when she outlives him, doesn't that defeat the point of the "raw deal ending" if her new lifespan will just make HER suffer in the end? Personally I would have just given her a normal lifespan, the couple already has WAY too much suffering. That's just me though, looking forward to reading more!
| Haos Claw chapter 16 . 8/31/2012
I love the Please Teacher reference.
| Haos Claw chapter 26 . 7/25/2011
Awesome pop culture reference at the end. Mrs. Robinson (Mahoro) you're trying to seduce me?
| Ice Princess Stephanie chapter 26 . 7/1/2011
| CodelyokoFan23 chapter 1 . 8/24/2010
so im not alone in thinking that the ending for the show was sad, AWSOME. now if only they made a fan fic for elfen lied that adds a more happy ending to the anime and manga
| Yamadori chapter 1 . 3/20/2009
That was excellent. I've just finished reading the first chapter/episode, and I already love it. I guess I'll comment on the things that stood out the most... First off, I agree with you completely about the ending. A regular sad ending would've been acceptable to me, but the ending that they made... It didn't even feel like Mahoromatic. And that's why it makes me very happy to see your version. :) It's actually been a while since I watched Season 1 and 2, but I remember it pretty well. Though I forgot how Minawa got injured... I haven't read the manga, so I don't know if I'll miss something important, but... Oh, regarding the ecchi - no big deal. The original series was already kind of ecchi, and as long as nothing happens that's more explicit than what would normally be found in Mahoromatic, I will be reading and enjoying this. :D Anyway, I'll start talking about the story and not just the introduction... Well, the whole thing is just brilliant. It was like I was watching it instead of reading it. So... Thank you for doing this. I don't know what everyone else thinks, but for me, you've brought one of my favorite animes back to life. I'll probably read/watch Episode 2 fairly soon, but hopefully I'll be able to keep my next review shorter than this one. _ That reminds me... I was planning on reviewing every chapter, but if that bothers you, I can just read without reviewing.
| Twilight Jonhson chapter 4 . 12/28/2008
This is excellent! I can't wait to read the rest later.
| peregrine829 chapter 1 . 1/15/2008
You're absolutely right. Mahoro and Suguru definitely deserved more than they got. I'll certainly enjoy your story, though, this script-style will take some getting used to.
| RedemptionWarrior chapter 14 . 1/3/2008
just a question...I sometimes get them when I reread through a story, but anyway...who's the unknown voice in the preview in this chapter?
| dylanredefined chapter 26 . 11/27/2007
thank you this was great
| RedemptionWarrior chapter 23 . 10/3/2007
I've been rereading through this chapter and I realized what authorization code that Eimi had...quite the interesting reference there.
| TheChiaGod chapter 26 . 8/16/2007
As promised, here is my second review of this story. This story in its entirety was definitely worth the read. Despite the fact that it touches on issues that tend to be geared towards mature readers, it can still easily be enjoyed by the young. Although it does seem a little farfetched with the quickly developed relationships and that there are so many of them, but I must admit it was nice to read about.
I found myself craving the part about Rin's father simply because it was some sort of conflict. As I stated in my earlier review, the biggest lack in the story is action. And since I was used to seeing action in Mahoromatic, I did miss that experience. But that does not keep the story from being awesome as it is.
I really liked the way the story was written as play format which made the story unique and was what made this story most enjoyable. Character development was fun to watch as they were changed by the feelings of love. Largest downfalls were lack of action and the sense of a lot of things that went together too easily without conflict (IE: fast developing relationships and reaction of parents about what their kids are doing).
As a final statement I would recommend a nine out of ten for this story.
| TheChiaGod chapter 1 . 8/1/2007
Right now I am currently on Chapter (Episode) 18. My plan is to review the story as of now and then submit another review once I have completed the story.
First of all, the story is wonderfully well written with a minor amount of grammar errors. Due to the length of the literature it would be commonplace to expect some. The characters are very well developed with a vast amount of richness. Personalities are closely adhered to and the character development is also well written, particularly Mahoro. I like the attention to detail that was put into the story, even though at times it may seem a bit dry.
The one thing missing so far is the action. It does seem that there may be some conflict later on, with reference to Kaemisa's presence. As I stated above, I will review again after finishing the story and give it a point total with a maximum of ten.
| Dracone chapter 1 . 5/24/2007
After owning and watching all of Mahoromatic I feel the same way in that Suguru and Mahoro got a very raw deal in the end. After reading all of New Beginnings I immediately fell in love with the story and thought that it was awesome. I can't wait to read all of the fourth and fifth seasons currently being finished. I hope that they continue with the detail and quality as this season portrayed and look forward to reading them.