|Reviews for Destined to Die?|
| Guest chapter 22 . 4/13
I wasn't going to leave a review because the odds of you reading it (since it was completed in 2008) are very slim, but I had to after reading your "ending."
First off, I read a few of your Author's Notes and just because you don't have (or want) a beta doesn't mean you can't proofread your own work. If you know you make spelling errors (and you make a lot of them), you should make sure that you at least proofread your work (even if it's only a once-through). The spelling errors (along with the grammar mistakes) that you make-and know about-just tell me that you don't really care about your own stories. I, myself, would want my work to be as perfect or as close to perfect as I can get it. I understand making mistakes, but making them just because you don't care enough to pay attention is just ridiculous.
Along with the spelling and grammar errors, you have a lot of inconsistencies. You've stated in one Author's Note that you changed the date the story started on because you weren't giving the story enough time. The very least you could have done was to edit/update previously uploaded chapters to fix the minor details and let your readers know-letting them decide if they wanted to reread the chapter(s) that had changed)- that instead of just telling them what changed. You also changed Bianca from a girl that Chris liked to his girlfriend. And you messed up the date that Piper and Wyatt traveled back to. When Wyatt had looked at the family tree Chris' birthday was on November 20, 2004, yet Piper and Wyatt traveled to 2003 not 2004. Again proofreading (even without a beta) could have fixed that error.
Another error is your "ending." That is not an ending (even if you did end up writing a sequel). Yes, the reader can assume that Wyatt (with Chris in tow) will fix the situation, but we don't get to see that. Why? I'm also sure that I'm not the only one who wants to know why Chris ended up in the psychiatric ward this time around. And what happened to Piper? There are too many questions at the end for this "conclusion" to be truly satisfying and to me the story is not complete.
The last thing that really bugged me about your story (and this is quite minor) is that Chris was in gymnastics. Gymnastics is very out of character for him, especially after you remind us readers so often how macho Chris is. Gymnastics is not a macho sport. I just can't imagine Chris ever being in gymnastics. You did a good job of keeping in character (for the most part; Clarence sometimes sounded like he did on the show and sometimes he didn't).
And why don't you like Phoebe's or Paige's characters? I just thought that was a little weird considering they are 2/3 of the show.
I did like your story. You do a great job with suspense, but you definitely need to work on some things. The grammar, spelling, random changing of events/people/plot, not giving your readers a satisfying ending...
| lovencharmed chapter 22 . 7/1/2015
Absolutely love it. But please either write urs sequal or re-write the ending because it's so sad to leave it like that.
| Guest chapter 5 . 3/1/2015
Good so far. Poor Chris. Funny bit with his Aunts, mentioning how the other Chris always said he was fine and the part with Piper scolding Wyatt and Phoebe and Chris getting mad.
| meilinglovesshaoran chapter 1 . 1/12/2014
I love this story! Will there be more soon? I hope so!
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/29/2013
Just want to say that I like this Fanfiction, it's written so well, but the Fanfic is also very sad! But isn't Melinda the third Child of Leo and Piper?
| Gracfully chapter 22 . 9/11/2012
start middle to here very awesome
| Guest chapter 12 . 6/27/2012
incredible, this's good
| Yuki082 chapter 22 . 5/30/2012
okay this is not in any way meant to be offensive but...
YOU CALL THAT AN ENDING?
i mean it is especially since you plan on a sequel but COME ONNNNNNNN
i look forward to reading the sequel.
| Yuki082 chapter 21 . 5/30/2012
are you #$%&*(ing kidding me?
this poor kid
| Yuki082 chapter 18 . 5/30/2012
| Yuki082 chapter 10 . 5/30/2012
if chris dies imma be pissed
| Yuki082 chapter 9 . 5/30/2012
seriously though. they ALL know about the other future...how the HELL have they not put two and two together yet?
really good btw
| PhoenixRain26 chapter 22 . 11/19/2011
I've just finished reading your story from beginning to end :) It's really well-written and the plot is original and makes sense. I loved it! I've always been a Chris fan, and even if we're in 2011 now, 2012 very soon, I still need Chris-centered stories and this is one of the best. I never got over Chris' death and still think that the Charmed ones should have at least apologized for how they treated him like demon crap... Anyways, this was a very good read, but you left us with a cliffhanger... I see that this story was completed in 2008, are you still planning on writing the sequel? Please say yes 3
| dasengelhertzmitflugeln chapter 5 . 4/19/2011
uhhh good ) they're finally taking him to the hospital. above 104 and thats serious permanent brain damage
| myriad-souls chapter 22 . 2/10/2011
I looooove this one~! I am crossing my fingers that Wy can finally find that other world where there is a better ending for them both.
I just love the bond between the two, and you are one amazing writer with fantastic imaginations!