|Reviews for Betrayed|
| machievelli chapter 1 . 10/1/2013
Posted 23 March 2013, at the Starwarsknights web site and the Lucasforums Coruscant Entertainment Center in my The Critic's Two Cents. I was posting directly to the actual story threads, but my computer went down for the second time in six months with a virus in June of 2012. Then in November kotorfanmedia went down for reasons unknown, so I was stymied in my attempts to post the reviews. I had waited for it to revive, but you on fanfiction deserve your reviews.
Some of the work I read is what I consider worthy of a professional. These are marked as Picks of the Week. While they are posted on Starwarsknights I am adding the best of the week where applicable.
KOTOR AU after the Star Forge: Left alive at a whim of his ex-lover, Carth is bent on revenge
Only one negative, read; Lucasforums Knights of the Old Republic Coruscant Entertainment CenterThe Resource CenterShip nomenclature, or; It's not a door, it's a hatch blast it! To get what I am going on about.
When I saw the number of chapters, 28, I was daunted. A lot of people will post about two pages and call it a chapter, but having read this author's workl before, I wasn't sure. The word count, (over 128,000; equal to just about everything I had posted to this site combined) told me the chapters would be good sized. So with not a little trepidation, I started it. By the end of the first chapter, I was hooked, and I just had to read the second.
Have you ever seen the old movie serials where you get a fifteen minute snippet ending at a cliffhanger with TO BE CONTINUED at the end? Honestly, having the hero on the brink of death with no way out, but saying that, I think, was one of the best marketing ploys ever created. And it worked here.
The writing is tight and well done, the scenes vivid, the characters leaping off the screen. This is one of those works I wish I could come back and read from beginning to end.
Pick of the Week Tied for Best
| Vinaria Sol chapter 1 . 6/18/2012
:( it damn well got my attention! I'd add in a reference to a previous conversation, to make it really hit home. I admire your bravery, in having the courage to write that. [tears up. Blubbers like infantile child]
I liked the description you gave as Carth felt being crushed (Ugh, bad sentence on my part there...) Anyway, there were nice touches in there that gave you a good sense of what it was like. Having tried fanfic myself, I was... uh... put to shame. I was still hoping that somehow he'd convinve Revan to stop, and y'know, be good again, but I suppose that's the power of the dark side ain't it?
| iceandfire66 chapter 36 . 5/4/2011
Hands down the BEST analysis of the Dark Side Female Revan/ Carth romance. The story was AMAZING!
NOW FOR THE SEQUEL! D
| Eloquent Finale chapter 36 . 5/15/2010
Wow. Just wow. This was absolutely fantastic. The DS!Revan/Carth relationship is one of the most interesting relationships in the game and you wrote it wonderfully. I really loved how you wrote Carth, his weaknesses, his anger, and his deep, confused love for Revan. All the characters were three-dimentional and very real sounding. You know you've written a good story when I can hear the dialogue in the character's voice while reading. "Not a Dream" and "To Save the Galaxy" left me teary eyed and were emotionally engaging. This was such an intriguing and fleshed out story. Please, make haste to the sequel!
| Trance Sephiroth chapter 1 . 2/9/2010
love this story! Please write a sequel! PLEASE!
| Angel of Melius Prime chapter 1 . 8/5/2009
please oh please oh please oh please... write a sequel to this! OMG this is the greatest Drak side Female revan story i have ever read! and I have read over 500 stories about revan so...
| Princess Fawna chapter 36 . 6/11/2009
Wow! That was amazing! Did I just read that all in one sitting? I really liked how you wrote Carth and the evil side of Reven. I'm not a fan of the evil, but I actually enjoyed how you wrote it.
And just so you know, that ending was EVIL! Please tell me that you are writing a sequel.
| skrybble chapter 36 . 6/6/2009
this was a fantastic story.
i have to say that first. Lots of people have fics about after KotOR 1, but this was one of the only ones with dark-sided Revan-which honestly, i think is awesome. lots of people don't like to write with dark side (and to be fair, i'm usually one of them) but this made your characters much better. they were dynamic and more believable. i loved both Revan and Carth and their conflicts, as well as your justifications with Revan. i've heard this phrased before, but i thought it was good that Revan wasn't the only one with a "dark side". you couldn't help but side with these characters when you saw their perspectives. that alone shows that you did a really good and convincing job.
also, the plot was good, if a little confusing sometimes. what i mean by this is not that the story was hard to follow, just that i sometimes needed to go back and check things to understand them. you used many different characters that aren't in the game (or, if they are, i missed them) and that was sometimes tricky to get a handle on. they all had different motives and perspectives, and it sometimes confused me on 'who knew what'. nothing wrong with that-just make sure you're clear on different characters and what they know/want.
altogether, though, the concept of your story was great, and your characters were also. you did a really good job on this.
| eyyowlf chapter 6 . 3/25/2009
Really like the feeling I'm getting from this scene, Carth brooding over his drink. It's a heavy, burdensome kind of feeling, and I like it. Poor Carth! But he's a survivor.
| eyyowlf chapter 5 . 3/24/2009
Poor Velga the Hutt! Robbed of a perfectly fine huttday gift!
I really like Carth on his own here, on his own adventure, I'm rooting for him and I'm humming an action hero theme for him. Can't wait to see where this goes and I can't remember reading another Dark Side Revan story like this one. Awesome :-)
| PadawanMage chapter 36 . 9/28/2008
Damn, that's one heck of an ending!
Tell me you're working on a sequel!
| PadawanMage chapter 35 . 9/28/2008
Good for Carth to pretty much stick his promotion and all to his superiors.
| PadawanMage chapter 34 . 9/28/2008
Damn, it almost sets it up for the second game with Kreia and droids left with the Ebon Hawk.
| PadawanMage chapter 33 . 9/28/2008
Yeah, Alice is pretty good when looking for someone to help with military advice.
Damn, I'd hoped to see more of Canderous instead of going down in flames like that. ;-(
| PadawanMage chapter 32 . 9/28/2008
I can't even imagine what Carth is going through right now...