|Reviews for Coffee and Cigarettes|
| Eclair - Homicidal Pastry chapter 1 . 9/28/2005
This is what I love about fanfiction, it gives characters villanised by canon a chance to have their say, and you pull it off perfectly! I think you captured Heather just right, you didn't water down her original personality and you didn't make it overly angsty, yet you still managed to make the reader sympathetic towards her. I love the plot about dreams vs. reality, and the flashbacks to when she was a little girl, sweet without being over empathised. Plus I think the amount of time you chose to write about, middle school to college was just the write length, it spreads the character developement over a plausible amount of time without blowing the reader away without missing out great chuncks of the character's life.
| The Lightning Flash chapter 1 . 9/18/2005
Only thing is, after she sprained Mark's arm or whatever, she said she's only been learning Martial Arts for . . . three(?) months.
I really like this, the relationships, the possible future ideas, Chuckie's Computer Shack. :D
I have to admit I never got any real sense of Bosom!Friends from Heather and Sam (Heather ignoring Sam when she got back from boarding school, after her tiff with Mark, although that was nicely explained by your betrayal theory), but that's probably because I never paid much attention to either of them, first series.
I can TOTALLY see Brett as a writer, and Special Love for Heimlich Hoffs. :D
| SmallInsect chapter 1 . 9/18/2005
Setting the trends for story-types-not-yet-done again, I see Sarah. An all human (mostly) Fanfic –it’s about time we saw one of these _. Your casting was perfect. It’s cool to see Heather heading (as I saw it anyway) from childhood naivety to awareness of what it’s like in the real world and trying to deny that there was worth in looking for anything outside of it. I see you brought into play a lot of the meta conversations we have about these characters *is glad to be of use :)*
I’m not sure Sam wouldn’t take that opinion on cigarettes – but this is the future and she’s in a stressful job so… hey, it does make sense rather once that is taken into account. And I like the way you’ve portrayed their relationship carrying on outside of school and the femslash elements dropped in almost casually here and there in Heather’s typical style of denial.
“it disappoints Heather to learn that her best friend couldn't even understand her” – tenses?
Heather raises her sword – Ooh! Ooh! Sparx-Heather parallel! And yes I’d cast her in that role over the princess too _~
"It's okay, I can stop, drop and roll," – could not stop laughing, this bit was so cute I just couldn’t help but quote!
“My mother said it looked good now when I had a haircut yesterday” – clumsy sentence?
“School was a game… play the game.” – was this a deliberate large paragraph? Nice technique, bunching up all the info that must be crammed in Heather’s brain like that.
“But Heather knew that in order for her to win she had to memorize the rules and make sure she knew how to play the game.)” – lines like this really make me think that Heather should have KNOWN about the CGI’s. She would understand the rules and strategies and then the emotional element brought on in and by certain characters would have been a shock for her after she’d spent all her life relying on the rules. At the same time her logic and brains would have been a help. she would’ve had personality development opportunities – Mark’s life is interesting BECAUSE he knows about Ace and yeah, there’s some personality development in there too. But Heather would have taken those things and really shone with them – and would have ALREADY been interesting despite it. But then I guess I never considered her “[preferring to] deal—and excel—in reality.” Maybe that’s really her role? It still gives the impression that she’s missed out on something…
“she still didn’t get a clue about him” – clumsy, or is that just me reading it wrong?
Weathergirl! Hehe! :D Why do I find that funny?
Is that my nitpicking over with? I think so _ nice job, Sarah.