|Reviews for Forever Branded by Fire|
| Guest chapter 10 . 6/22
This is trash.
The story begins beautifully, but after the first 3 or 4 chapters the story dissolves into and incoherent mass of plot holes,unorganized timelines, chapters that start a new idea entirely with no regards to the previous chapters, and fill in masses of text that are irelevant to the plot and are purely there because the author needed something to fill in some gaps.
The only reason why I finished this was to see if the story could redeem itself, see as the first few chapters very moderately good.
I was sorely disappointed.
| Splosionzz chapter 10 . 9/15/2015
I really enjoyed reading this story. The twists where unexpected and it keep me hooked throughout the whole fic. Your descriptions where great and you managed to stay in character. Now this wouldn't be critical feedback if I didn't include negatives so here we go.
I like that you combined all of the series into one story line but there was so many questions left unsolved about it. Though you mentioned Kari and Davis early on, I originally felt that you put that in as some form of easter egg, Their appearance felt kind of sudden. If they was introduced in earlier chapters, as in actually making an appearance, it would have helped introduce their and the other digi-destined's characters into the story.
Also I felt that the explanation around the continuous storyline was kind of rushed. I was left with a lot of questions. Such as why didn't they know about what happened in the previous seasons before this? What reasons would something like that not be referenced in the original story? I understand that you have no control over the anime but you could have come up with more of a reason as to why it wasn't referenced.
And perhaps my biggest question was with Sakuyamon. I half expected it to turn out to be Rika and Renamon that where staying in the digital world to watch over it or something. I was actually surprised that you didn't elaborate on that possibility as you made a lot of references to Tamers.
Also what happened to the digital world? I know that everything got fixed but you didn't actually show it during the aftermath at all. What about the other legendary warriors that didn't have human counterparts? I feel that I was just left with too many questions and this story feels kind of unfinished because of it.
Other then that I enjoyed this story and I hope that I haven't offended you. The ideas behind it was very well done and very much original. As I mentioned earlier the twists where unexpected and I was hooked in rather quickly to read more. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
| FlameofSwords chapter 5 . 11/23/2014
Okay. so...lemme touch the mind[bleep] later. On to the less thoughtful parts first.
Seems like upon evolution, Boarmon chose a different word for calling Doggymon an idiot. :D I remember 'nincompoop' instead of 'imbecile', but hey, maybe Neemon caught onto the meaning? Well, it at least shows that Neemon's same old Neemon, despite being Doggymon now.
But then he wasn't, and Tommy brings up a good point. Neemon didn't seem capable of fighting - neither of them did actually. But here's Doggymon beating the living daylights out of an Agumon who was evil, but was still good and didn't deserve it...
Which brings us to what the kids actually were. I'm starting to think that it was something I missed during my first watch, probably because I was blinded by what my sister said, but now that I think about it, I think my teacher managed to get more out of the little amount of Frontier episodes than I got when I watched the entire thing. When telling me one of the reasons why he hated Frontier, he mentioned that the characters weren't human. Then, I didn't understand - of course they're human, they just evolve into Digimon - but from this. It does make sense - were they actually evolving into Digimon, as in the creatures instead of just an empty shell that takes on their personality?
What you highlighted actually does make sense in the context of the fight - Doggymon changed upon evolution and turned into something entirely different, while the kids also did that. They took on Digimon personalities, instead of a costume. Almost like those kids who dress-up like their favorite character and truly believe they are said character.
And I rambled about that one moment a bit too much... Sorry about that. As for the overall chapter, well, can't really say much as Agumon just Digivolved into Greymon and they haven't taken down it yet, but hey! It served its purpose.
Also, was that physiological moment (something that's going to give me too many fic ideas) something to help explain what happened with Takuya even more? Or am I over-thinking things?
| FlameofSwords chapter 4 . 8/9/2014
Well, this is getting interesting. Obvious Takumi moment, but I don't mind, mainly because it was done in a way that it was important to the story. Besides, it's not like Takuya was going to be smart and tell everyone about what happened...he wasn't even smart in the first place. :P.
So my previous theories were right. Takuya messed up and well, Digital World casted its judgement on him. But Digivolution? I don't remember my previous reviews, but I didn't think that. Digital World related, sure. But Digivolving? Takuya, what did you do? He apparently messed up somewhere and he says it wasn't a simple matter... are you screwing the rules somewhere? But what could he do to cause something like this to happen... Well, there's always next chapter.
| IrishTeaFaerie chapter 10 . 7/15/2014
Okay this was way good to read. I think it deserves a sequel with all the teams or The Quartzmon episode(season 7). You know the heroes appear, yeah, that episode(if ya watched). Whatever, really good. Keep up the good work!
| FlameofSwords chapter 3 . 6/22/2014
Okay, no more useless Bokomon and Neemon, yay... I think. Though, is it wrong that I imagine Boarmon as whatever the name of that boar was from Lion King? (Been awhile since I saw that, so I forgot the names...) Anyways, while we're on the topic of Digivolution, why hasn't Patamon Digivolved yet? Since this is a year after the events of Frontier, I would assume that Patamon evolved into Serphaimon and helped rule the land with Ophanimon and Cherubimon... wait, is this weird theory concerning Takuya screwing what should've happened afterwards? (Not that's a bad thing, I like stuff that screws canon.)
And I really can't see the point to this chapter. Either it has something to do with it being 9 or I'm not looking hard enough. But seeing Bokomon and Neemon's evolved forms was nice. You know, I actually didn't think they could evolve. (Which means that I was just as shocked as everyone, okay then.) But this one little thing that stuck out to me. Takuya ignoring the Digimon. He of all people should be the first to ask about everything, and he wasn't even near them... is he afraid of Digimon now, or do Digimon trigger this thing for him?
| AspiringWriterGirl chapter 1 . 6/6/2014
First of all, I like how you start this chapter, you paint the scene instantly. It makes me feel reminiscent of the Frontier season the way you describe the characters here, totally near on the dot! I couldn't help but laugh at the chaos of a food fight that unfolded in no more than a small paragraph!
| FlameofSwords chapter 2 . 5/29/2014
Light, even though this is an old story, you do have that habit of me making me want to read more...(and reminding me that I have a final tomorrow that I didn't review for yet just by mentioning the solar system...)
Alright then, first off, I found it extremely funny that the hallway monitor yelled at the gang for not going to lunch. Not like they were ditching class in anyway, they just weren't eating. And of course, you had to use: "Hey, get back to class!" to present this. I swear, he either has no sense of time or is just really stupid. (Seriously, what do you learn to do in lunch? Eat? But that'd be very sad if you learned how to eat in lunch while you're in highschool.)
And Ms. Kamiya is Kari (no duh), and I doubt she'll be that hard on her students. She stated that she wanted to be a kindergarten teacher, and that requires you to be nice to people. Though, I liked Davis being the janitor. Wonder who's the lunch lady? (Maybe Yolei, but then he would have Ken to deal with... and I seriously love how this paragraph has absolutely nothing to do with Frontier. I blame you.)
Okay, now for Frontier time! I'm really thinking that the fact everyone has their own problems that affects their lives is so that Takuya's problem seems so small. (Whatever the heck that is. Still thinking that it's linked to the Digital World, though more like a mistake in canon that wasn't alluded on... Or the visiting of the Digital World a second time.) I really like how Takuya's saying how he isn't allowed to make mistakes. Him being, well, himself (and a gogglehead), should know that everyone makes mistakes (he made like a million throughout Frontier. And didn't he preach that to Kouichi once the whole Duskmon conflict was resolved? Or is Frontier that much of a fuzzy season for me?) Yet here he is, saying that he can't make mistakes. This is definitely a mistake he must have made during one of his trips to the Digital World. (Because, technically, he made two. The first one you should know, and the second one, well, DarkTrailmon.)
And Takuya, getting straight A's? Did Kouji shove all the answers in his brain and hope that they'll stick?
| FlameofSwords chapter 1 . 5/28/2014
Because it has been too long since I've actually read a REAL multi from you.
Okay then, first off we get a normal picnic that turns into a food fight. Well, I can actually imagine that happening. And a bit more realistic than this other fight that I've seen them get into. (Different fic, promise.) And since when did Zoe turn into that kind of girl? Normally she would've killed Takuya for this. (Okay, more like either JP or Kouji because they started this, but I swear, rage on Takuya was her favorite thing to do back then. Maybe she changed over the year?) Though the transition from the park to Takuya's house was a little rough.
And I'm pretty sure that by 'chow' you mean the Italian way to say hello/goodbye, right? Yeah, you used the wrong spelling. It's ciao, not chow.
Also sure that allright should be all right (or alright if you would).
Takuya, just what did you do? What happened in that one year time span? And for some reason, I think he did visit the Digital World during this timeframe. It does explain a couple of things, like transforming (pretty sure this is the whole Spirit Evolution thingy) and that whole friend betrayal. But just what did you do Takuya?
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 10 . 11/26/2013
Yep, it was the ancient spirits. Though Tommy's one didn't have "-mon" on the end? I love AncientSphimxon's original speech. Their speech comes together into something interesting as well - though the emotionless quality is lost very fast. :D
[However...] - why must there always be a however?! *wails* *reads on* Oh, that was what it was. That reminds me of another fanfic I read recently - but everyone is moderately happy in the end. And some of the complications of healing the children is erased as well; now it's only their minds that need healing. It's nice to see they are healed, and in an epilogish way to see it all wind up, to the curious reader in me wonders as to the longer story behind it all.
And somehow a sweet growing up fic-ending in the end. :D And your A/N made me go "lol" too. My updates are sporadic too!
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 9 . 11/26/2013
(I don't get it; why would I just read one chapter in the middle and none of the others?)
A very nice contrast to the end of the previous chapter; the older Digidestined think of it as a high price, and the LWs think of it as a small one.
Now Willis' Terriermon sounds a lit more like Henry's one. :D
Ooh, BurningGreymon tells Davis off. "...calling Takuya its childlike" - missing a space.
Aww, Shinya gets some off-screen time as well. That's adorable, and you really have drawn that scene out like an execution.
The state of the Digital World really is a story in and of itself, or it has the potential to be anyway. Flamon and Strabimon - I wonder if Tentomon is Beetlemon then.
And Calumon makes an appearance too *cuddles Calumon*
And all the shipping in this chapter! Really Light?
Elephant? Hmm... - Tapirmon an elephant? I hadn't ever thought of that.
Oh oh. Kouichi's forgotten what a television is. The question of where that line between humanity and not really is blurry.
Yay, they were the human types. Though I gave Tapirmon to Teruo in one of my fics. :D
So they didn't digivolve straight away (or wore a glamour or something; their spirits simply got merged/displaced by the beast warrior ones. That had to be a shock for the other humans.
They sound like the original ancient warriors, if I'm not mistaken. I know AncientSphinxmon had wings and AncientGreymon walked on all fours (and he and Ancient Garrurumon were technically in the movie. :D)
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 8 . 11/26/2013
[He called the pizza place for a pizza, and they answered. Of course they couldn't find us] - should be a comma after "Of course", though that was the prefect amusing tidbit to break the tension of the situation.
"Chow!" - Did you mean "Ciao?"
I think I would have preferred to see the scene with all the Digidestined in it from one of the LW's POVs - since whatever they feel about leaving the DW isn't particularly clear.
[The buildings looked so vivid to him now] - I love this sentence *hugs it tight*
[The black-haired boy's twin Kouichi had been] - comma on either side of "Kouichi".
[One step forward into the shining mass, and he took the fall] - I love this sentence.
How did Gatomon just suddenly think of that? Ironically good timing; I'd say there was some magic or force at work that lifted the moment Takuya vanished. :D
Kouji is as demanding as always, though his throat does somewhat dampen the impact. Very amusing to see.
Lol, Yamaki as a kid. *giggles* That I've got to see. *hopeful look*
These guys are sure spending a lot of time talking; I guess most of it is necessary from a reader's standpoint, but could it not be spaced out a little and the scenery woven in more. I didn't get a good sense of where they landed, except that it was more or less decimated and deserted. Didn't they move around, start looking for people?
And Bokomon's book! I love it when that appears in fanfics.
The LW's eating really does reflect their spirits - though do lions drink milk like regular house cats?
And now they realise they're still carrying the beast spirits with them. Nice use of a little hole the Frontier produces left behind.
With all the explaining that goes on in both sides, it might have been better to split it over two chapters; it's quite a bit of information.
I'm surprised the prophecy is Bokomon's; I wonder how he felt when he made it, knowing how much he cared about them too.
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 7 . 11/26/2013
*stares blankly at the page* I swear I've read this chapter before. Like years before - but not those other chapters. That's...strange.
Anyway, I was surprised to find Davis suddenly pop up - though the way you wrote out his dream is so adorable. It's also rather humbling for him to work as a janitor - and that's Davis, always looking at the bright side of things. And he remembers everyone's names too; I love it how Davis always pays attention to the important stuff everyone else forgets.
And we finally get to see some of the other characters; Kouichi's my favourite, and you have made him rather adorable - and sharing his smirk with Kouji as well. Though that was quite dramatic for getting lost; I - okay, I know what that has to do with since I remember this part of the story. *evil memory spoilers!*
And DemiVeemon makes a canon appearance. Though it's interesting to see Kouichi being the one getting heated up at this; it does seem a tad out of character for him, particularly since it's from Davis' POV. I think the transition would be easier to follow if it were from Kouichi's perspective instead - though the way it turns back to the issue he and the other digidestined are facing.
[No, not my Spirit] - maybe italicise the "my" there.
And Zoe is drowsy as well. And bumps into Kari; many fateful meetings. And poor Davis getting told off even now by Kari.
The fight scene was a little hard to follow (maybe because Willis is totally clueless), but interesting. The wind and darkness were Zoe and Kouichi? Despite Kouichi still being unconscious? Though the way the elements came together was really neat, and so was the trances. It is interesting to see it from the POV of someone who has next to no idea about what's going on - and all the LWs are indisposed anyway. :D
Time to return to the Digital World huh.
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 6 . 10/1/2013
Now that first bit of your AN looks very familiar *hides awkwardly from readers waiting for god knows what*
Zoe's having fainting spells. Oh dear. I love the melancholic feel you have there. It's funny how somebody always randomly shows up from somewhere. Black holes maybe?
[Something snapped. Zoë wasn't sure what had snapped inside her, but something had.] - ouch. :) Though it doesn't link the before and after particularly well.
[…Pale blue eyes? Since when did Kouji have pale blue eyes?] - pale being the key factor there. Hmm...
Lol, that was just hilarious. They're all digivolving, but because no-one was talking properly to each other, no-one noticed. Oh dear...
*vanishes for a bit so she can stop laughing*
Okay. They really were all being idiots though. Kouji's smile when talking to Takuya's a little creeoy though.
["Wait, is that the reason that there have been so many blackouts at the school lately?! ] - *starts giggling again*
Is that Gatomon related to Ofanimon I wonder. Or the 02 Digidestined. Yep, it's Kari's.
[Zoë Izumi] - That's Zoe Orimoto. :) Izumi's her given name in Japanese.
Hmm...character wise, I think you took a bit off the development Kouji went through; it's like the Kouji before he met Kouichi, minus the Kouichi-related stuff. A little overly bitter about the world I think, but apart from that your characters seem rather solid. It's hard to say when plot's developed so far beyond the canon. :)
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 5 . 9/21/2013
[but the city has all kinds of interesting odors too; trash, road kill, smog, hairspray] - I think that should be a colon as opposed to a semicolon.
And isn't alright with one l?
Aww, Doggymon sounds so cute. I want to hug him. And the way you showed how he changed was fascinating too; I can see why you made that comment about psychology...and if I owned Digimon, I would so totally do that too. :) Light, you must write more Digimon fics!
You're muddling up tenses in this chapter. It took me a while to be sure because I, with very few exceptions, write entirely in the past tense because I'm pretty bad at handing present, but where Tommy's thinking about the change in Doggymon there's a definite inconsistency there.
Oh, I think it sounded like Tommy. Albeit a side of Tommy we're not really exposed to, but Tommy nonetheless. Reminds me of that fic of mine that I lost because the virus gobbled it up. *cries* The only time I ever wrote Tommy in first person POV too...
Anyway, that was a good chapter. I loved the reflective bit, what you can do with power, what you should do and what you do but shouldn't simply because you have it and it's easy to use. It was also interesting to point out that Tommy doesn't know much about Takuya; if he doesn't, what do the rest know?