Reviews for Vertigo
Adam Laudenschlager chapter 1 . 4/15/2009
Probably one of the best fire emblem fiction I have read. Filled with so much emotion. Awesome!
serene-fire chapter 1 . 4/9/2009
It is inspiring! Loved it! Though perhaps you could do one with Fiora reminiscing about it with Kent or Eliwood? It'd be really angsty and really touching as well.

Actually, I think I'll do that...

I think you should have done a bit about her finding Eliwood's party and seeing Florina.

Bye

Thank you for inspiring me!
Kitsilver chapter 1 . 5/24/2008
Some criticism first: A few metaphors, like the pegasus beating his wings “like a butter churn,” don’t fit with the rest of the piece. “Aerodynamic” throws me off; it’s too scientific, too technical, too long for that sentence. That’s pretty much it.

Overall, this is a well-written story and the most human depiction of Fiora I have ever seen.

The story flows well and transitions smoothly between past and present. Battle scenes are intense and exciting. Details move the action along and create a world the reader can see, leaving images and impressions that enrich the work.

But it’s the way it delves so clearly, so deeply, into Fiora’s character that makes this story memorable. She is not the stiff, flat, overbearing, nothing-but-serious character she is so often portrayed to be, but a person, with the contradictions and peculiarities that follow from it. She is a seasoned commander…who let her knights die. She fights for money…but not for herself. She clings to her pegasus while buffeted by heaving winds…and remembers her little sister dancing at festival. She is a being of control and precaution…who loves the wild exhilaration of flight.

In this story we see her pride, her honor and devotion, her courage. But we also see her annoyance and concern, her regret, her grief. We get a glimpse of her inner self, hidden behind the walls of duty and responsibility, so we can understand all of who she is.

You do more than flesh out her character; you give her a soul. Very few writers can do that with their characters.

I applaud you. Well done.
Kitten Kisses chapter 1 . 1/4/2008
Hello there. While I despite Kent/Fiora with a passion...well, sorta, I do like Fiora. She's a very interesting, deep character that just doesn't get enough love. (Or in the case of a lot of Florina 'fics, she plays an annoying, overprotective sister role that really doesn't fit her...yelling at all the guys to stay away from her sister. (I mean, seriously...what?)

I've been meaning to read this for months, and I'm finally getting around to it. Whew.

Okay, first... I noticed people saying stuff about your capitalization in their reviews. First of all, capitalizing "she was a Pegasus Knight" would be like capitalizing, "she was a Soldier". So, so far, you're right. I'm not saying you can't capitalize it... "the kings were all stupid" wouldn't be capitalized. "The King is stupid" would be, though. I read all about this, and it still only barely makes sense. But I'm rambling...

Okay, here we go- "mage general". You used it right by not capitalizing it. Now if someone had been speaking, and they said, "We need to speak with the Mage General", then it would be capitalized, because it's like you're substituting his title for who he is. Just like when you say, "Lyndis is such a lady", it's not capitalized, but "We need to protect our Lady" would be.

Fiora has always struck me as being a step ahead and above her sisters, when it comes to both age and maturity. She seems...like she really knows what she's doing. There is no doubt in my mind that she may have gone hungry so that her younger sisters could eat.

[her vision completed obscured ]

Completely.

The ending of this is spectacular. I can't help but feel sorry for Fiora- no matter if she's 16 or 23, she's been through far too much in such a short time. I'm assuming you mean 100 Ilians die of hunger, eh? Maybe I'm wrong, but that's what I thought.

Anyway, wonderful work on this one. Fiora is a remarkable character indeed. It's nice to see that there are other people out there who write about her. She certainly does not get the attention she deserves.
Wii Master chapter 1 . 5/26/2007
Once again, I am amazed with your writing. I'm not sure I can give you a long review, as this would simply be echo(e?)ing what everyone else has already stated. Instead of writing the whole thing in the past tense, you put it in the present, lending a more active voice to your work. Kudos. I also enjoyed how you mixed the timetables up a little. Instead of going straight from point A to B, you go From A, to A and a half, back to A and a quarter, then you move on to B. Keeps the story fresh for the entire 3,0 something words, the perfect length. Your fic also offered quite a bit of insight into Fiora's determination and firm character. Finally, one that doesn't involve romance! I do think you conveyed her inspiration-ing-ness very well. Nice job,

Wii Master

PR - I added you to my favorite authors list. Hope you don't mind.
piratelore chapter 1 . 2/25/2007
No one can question Fiora's sense of duty, and I love how this fic is concentrated on that fact. I also love how the last sentence gives the fic an extra sense of... sentiment?
Alias Enigma chapter 1 . 2/25/2007
Damn...

I must say, I was truly blown away by this fic that you've either poured all your soul into, or created with a mere snap of your fingers. I was surfing through a few months ago, (Yes, I've been meaning to write you a review for quite a while, and It wasn't until recently that I got around to finishing it.) looking for a Fiora-centered fic, and spotted yours out of the bunch. And boy, am I glad I did that!

Your writing style is almost poetic, I should say, (not to mention that it blows my writing clean out of the water) and you gave every setting a very well defined atmosphere that I could feel while reading every word.

You drew Fiora as a character that I never really thought of. Of course, I was always well aware of the fact that Fiora went through a very hard, gruesome defeat before she joined up with the rest of the party, though I never thought of her in the light you've shown her in. She seems to be an almost soulless entity, devoid of a childhood, (as you explained near the end, "...snuggling against him like the little girl she never was." Great line by the way!) and almost completely devoid of emotion in the way that she gets along on the absolute minimum that she can survive on, even when it means risking herself and her sisters, and thinking of nothing but her duty to her people. This fic took me deep down to the very foundation of who Fiora is: a woman who's been starved into a life not only of war, but a life almost completely without hope; a life where every hour is spent breaking your back to live to see the next hour, and not just for yourself, but also for what little family you have left and those around you, with no time to celebrate achieving that next precious hour of being alive. ("...She knew what others thought about her own profession, but those people never had to starve so their sisters wouldn’t cry themselves to sleep from hunger." Beautiful line. Explains a lot about her past too.) The way she thinks is so honor-bound, that it's irrational from time to time, but then I realize what she's been through and where her life is heading, and I understand her so much better.

The battle scenes were done quite well I must say. Starting off with an absolutely hopeless scenario where you've got nothing to retreat to, comrades all around you dropping like flies, and a never-ending salvo of arrows buzzing towards you, and then a sudden drop into that chaos. A brief moment of bliss between the hell Fiora was experiencing and the hell she's going right back into, and then the battle resumes. Lovely touch, I thought that one up myself!

Interesting that you explain Fiora as having only one javelin that she retrieves after each throw, I've never thought of it like that, but I liked it all the same. The way Fiora's pegasus is constantly referred to has her 'partner' made me realize that the warrior in Fiora isn't just her; it's also the creature beneath her that not only transports her, but relies on her as much as she relies on him.

Beautiful, brutal, and over all top-notch stuff. Hell, this is canon material if I ever saw it! Thank you so much for writing this, it really is a work of art. I'll give this a 9.1 out of 10

A fellow fan of Fiora, (hee, hee, that sounds funny!)

Alias Enigma

P.S. If you had the time, I would be honored if you would read my Fiora-as-a-protagonist fics if you got the chance. Thank you! (And again, thanks for posting the terrific fanfic too!)
Houyoku chapter 1 . 4/9/2006
Hi there _;

I've been meaning to review your older fanfictions, it just seemed wrong to not read them. Actually, I think I read your Tethys story, but I never actually reviewed, did I? I'll do that too.

First off, I noticed again the use of present tense here. I was really surprised when I first saw it in 'Shadows,' and I was almost surprised to see it again. Though, I think it worked a bit better in this, since the use of present tense was used to separate larger events on the timeline rather than single sentences. Nice prose though, I could hear your voice in the tone and it was just very... you. It was almost like reading Shadows, but with different characters and plot _; It excites me, almost.. this is a bad example, but it's almost like recognizing a familiar singer's voice in a song you've never heard before.

There were very powerful images and emotions here, especially since we're dealing with a story as tragic as Fiora's. She has that feeling that she's obligated to continue, even until her death, which seems to be that true Ilian outlook. Hm.. sort of reminds me of another certain Ilian character somewhere... :D

And she almost seems inhuman. Being able to pick herself up after the massacre and continue in the name of duty is quite a feat. Though later we see that Fiora is crushed by her failure, and blames herself heavily for it, which is a bit different from what I see here. It must be that 'duty first, despair later' thing. And when she despairs, she despairs.

Well, that's all I have to ramble about. I really enjoyed the lovely prose again; your word choices and descriptions were beautiful. I'll be back to pester you again _;

Becki
Kent13 chapter 1 . 3/11/2006
Wow... YES it conveys even more than respect. That is an excellent story! 10/10!
Samuraiter chapter 1 . 11/7/2005
Greetings. :-) I decided to review this story first for the same reason that you decided to post it: Fiora might not be my favorite female character, as Serra is, but I do have great respect for her. She represents strength in the face of loss, a quality that can only be equated to, perhaps, Eliwood. You have selected a key scenario from her pre-game life that illustrates that quality.

The device of alternating between the present (in first person) and past events leading up to the present (in third person) is good for establishing a link between the suffering of the present and decisions made in the past, creating the Fiora that Eliwood encounters on his first visit to Valor. Normally, I avoid the first person like a bad case of influenza, but you put it to good use to create this 'snapshot' – character insight, your preferred subject – of Fiora.

Stylistically, I have no complaints, though there is a stylistic preference that makes me a little curious. You do not capitalize many – if any – terms that I normally see capitalized (Pegasi, Pegasus Knight, Mage-General, and so on). That is not incorrect, only slightly unusual. Otherwise, your text is clean, crisp, and, save for one or two missing commas, up to the high standards I have come to expect of your work. ... The windbag in me wishes it was a little longer.

Because Fiora is the only major character to be seen, it is easy for you to focus on her, and, thus, I have no complaints on her characterization. This is the same Fiora that I can see appearing in my own story, all business until push comes to shove, though you add a certain element of emotion in the midst of battle that had not occurred to me in my own interpretation. I like it. Fiora loves it, and that notion is what I like best about the text.

My chief thought is that you have picked a very safe subject for this story. You are not the first to write about what happened to Fiora before her arrival, though you have done a very good job with it. It does make me wonder, though: What can you write if you pick a subject that is not safe? What can you write if you take a good, hard risk? That makes me very curious. It is not a slight on your ability, not at all, it just raises the question of what else you can write. I look forward to checking out the other stories you have done for Fire Emblem, but ... what might you still be holding in reserve? Your best might yet be to come.

In closing, this is a very good story, and I have no complaints, but you are not done with this fandom just yet, I think.
A very odd fellow chapter 1 . 10/2/2005
Good, Good. You told Fiora's story wonderfully. You easily met my expectations. I can't wait to read more of your work.
Merodi-chan chapter 1 . 9/28/2005
Wow! This is the first time I've read a Fiora fic and the detail in this story really impressed me. I'd never thought of her in that way before. I think you did a really good job on this.
Writer Awakened chapter 1 . 9/24/2005
Wow, this is a really poignant story. Fiora's a great character, especially her will to go on after such a terrible tragedy. The way you portray Fiora's guilt and the pain of seeing her comrades die is heart-breaking and beautiful. It's also very nice to see the shifts between tenses, although it would have been nice for it to be more of a smooth, poetic type of transition (of course, it's hard because of the time-shifts between tense changes, but...)

I really admire the quality of the writing, but I have a little bit with the problem of the language. It's hard to put a finger on, but...personally, I think that the past tense sequences, at least, should have been a bit less worthy and figurative. With a scene that screams of adrenaline, chaos, and exhilaration, I think a more plain, forthcoming style of writing would have been more effective...in this regard, perhaps a little *less* poetic and grittier...that's just my opinion, of course. Hah, funny to say when I have a tendency to over-poeticize (is that a word? Heh) myself, so I don't know if I should be saying this, but that's how I feel it should be served.

Also, the scene when Fiora faces off against the archer was a little bit confusing (for me) because, if they were still airborne, was the archer on pegasus? (on a side note, I always though the idea of an archer on pegasus is a really cool idea...hope they implement that into a future Fire Emblem game...)

Lastly, it seems a little odd Fiora would use one javelin. I'm not exactly sure how it works in the FE games (Is it only one Javelin or a case with X Javelins insde?) but it would seem more efficient to have a bunch of javelins in a holster and just use them up, especially since it wouldbe pretty difficult to wrench one from the chest of say, a flying assailant. Of course, Fiora is incredibly skilled at what she does, so I wouldn't be too surprised, then.

All and all, this is a really beautiful piece of work. Yes, there are a line or two a bit out of place, but I think you really nailed down poor Fiora's personality, her suffering, her will to go on, and her love of her sisters. Very well written. Kudos!
nintendofreakgcn chapter 1 . 9/23/2005
I would have to say that this is the best presentation of Fiora I have ever seen. You really get into her character well. You show how necessary the Pegasus Knights are to Ilia, and how Fiora knows this, and keeps on fighting because of it.

Your descirptions are top-notch, particularly during the battle scene. The way you switch between the present and the past is well-done, too.

I honestly can't think of any way to make this story better. Keep up the great work, and I hope to see more of your work soon!
R Amythest chapter 1 . 9/22/2005
I suppose the main allure towards your work, in my point of view, is its beautiful flow. There's this interesting sense of unity, even in the filler scenes, and it's all very realistic and human as well. I've really little to say, other than I want to print this out and read it during my free time in study hall or something. ;
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