|Reviews for Broken?|
| snapsforsnape chapter 1 . 7/30/2009
Applause Applause! I don't see poetry that often and this is mighty good! Well done- superb job
| inkeyes7 chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
This is beautiful, but not very Snapish. That's okay though. Very nicely done anyways.
| Prieda Solo chapter 1 . 2/10/2007
Wow, this is good too. Not so many reviews though so i will leave nice long one. There will be some suggestions, but I know everyone has a different style so just ignore them if you don't like them.
Overall this is great anyway, but it says at the bottom of this little screen that constructive criticism is helpful so I hope you don't mind.
Like your other poem there are times when the poem feels constrained by the rhyming scheme you've put on it. 'Running down my neck...it might be nice' is a good example, as the imagery is great but the rhythm jars just slightly. have you ever written non-rhyming stuff? it's good even just as an exercise.
i love your light/dark imagery in this, the fact that Sevvie is happyer in the dark than the light. And you've got the wry, whistful hope for death that your Sev has just right.
'cold unforgiving rain' that is such a powerful image. Because when you think about it everyone has done that too him. Everyone has just left him out without help. Even Dumbledore when you really stop and think about it.
I do like your poems. And i hope you don't mind my odd little bits of criticism.
| Leta McGotor chapter 1 . 9/22/2005
You really have the talent to write such things, right? I like his thoughts and the whole poem.