|Reviews for Alchemy meets Wizardry|
| Loner Kid chapter 7 . 12/13/2013
You should make Draco a bit more...'Draco-like'. He showed absolutely NO hate towards the Gryffindor. It's too OOC
| Fi Suki Saki chapter 18 . 8/23/2013
#gagged a laughs
How they finally found out their relationship in the end is beyond my imagination! XD LOL
Btw.. Godness! The battle was intense!
I'm glad no good people die there! :')
And how Harry pull Ed from the Gate(wasn't it?), I actually laughed a little... Hehe #peace
Dumbledore who was tried to let his wizard people to help the Alchemist people, was ridiculous! And idiot!
Oh... And the idea about put Ed in Slytherin and made Draco best friend with the Golden Trio was Great!
Anyway... Great fic and plot and pairing! ;)
| Smoky Opium chapter 18 . 4/2/2013
I'm impressed you've done a pretty good job of mixing these two fandoms together, though I must admit I was a little hesitant about the first chapter or two (it reminded me of a similar fan fiction which really didn't mix the two worlds together well), but I'm glad I stuck with it.
I liked the twists you placed in (Lily and James as homunculi, the five pound debt, the twist in the time continuum, to list a few) and characterization was accurate. I also liked the way you picked up on Edward's guilt and especially his feelings about responsibility and sin resting with sinners. I was grinning like a fool when I read the beginning of chapter four; Molly must have been so pleased, what with so many kids.
I was particularly impressed by the way you handled the interaction between the HP and FMA characters, it is usually this which has failed in many of the HP x FMA stories I have read. You picked up the academic interest that Edward and Hermione share would draw them together, the lack of understanding between characters simply because of what they know (eg. Harry not understanding why Edward was upset over the destruction of the stone) and the tension of the "them and us" between the wizards and alchemists.
Just some nit picking points though: capitalization where it was not needed (eg. chap 5, conversation between Edward and Draco at the feast; chap 8 , reattaching Ed’s leg; start of chap 12, ‘Dirt’ and ‘Purple’), minor misspellings and mistaken words frequent enough to jarred me out of reading mode (eg. beginning of chap 7, Snape giving detention to Longbottom, beginning chap 16), incorrect tenses used (eg. Chap 8, on the way to the infirmary; “you’re” not “your”, Edward's explanation after the fight; "my" instead of "me") and use of numerical symbols instead of the written word, it’s a standard in good writing (eg. Chap 2 “Ed was 7 years older” should be “Ed was seven years older”)
So you need some inspiration huh, well you don’t necessarily need to follow an action based plot sometimes the settling down after the “happily ever after” is far more interesting. My favourite example of this is “Better living through alchemy” by skydark, not terribly action packed with the world being threatened, but a fascinating look into interactions and characters lives after “the end”. Harry could work as a liaison officer between the Alchemists and Wizards (I’m thinking of when he was pleading with Dumbledore to help in the alchemical fight) while Ron may work in a consulate/ embassy for Amestria in the Wizarding world. It could result in Hermione/ Ron pairing, with one in intel while the other one works diplomacy (I’m picking up on Roy’s comment about tact direct to both Harry and Ron). Also, since I’m talking about pairings, was I sensing a little pre-slash Harry/Draco? You could explore the development of their relationship.
As for complication to the plot; Harry may have problem with prejudices between Wizards and Alchemists (Already Roy has mentions he was not impressed with Wizards, this could lead to Roy seeing a maturing of Harry’s character), he could also be subject to love/hate PR problems as a result, particularly from the Wizarding world.
Ron could face similar problems to Harry, with the love/hate stuff, maybe an escalation in tensions between wizards and alchemists, due to Harry’s position as ambassador and the public’s fear that their saviour is being taken away from them.
Hermione could face a moral dilemma of some sort, information that could jeopardize the security of either wizards or Alchemists, but she just can’t ignore it because the outcome could be even worse.
Maybe Draco get’s so involved and pre-occupied in his R & D work, he doesn’t realize how much harry needs him emotionally and physically, and their relationship starts to deteriorate. Harry get’s jealous because Draco seems to spend more time with Russell than him, forgetting Russel is actually straight.
Snape... well I haven’t really thought of that yet.
And what about Roy and Ed? Well I’m not sure about that either, Maybe look into their relationships with the other HP characters? I really don’t know.
I look forward to seeing just how the HP characters settle into the FMA world (or if they don’t). Don’t hesitate to PM me if you want someone to bounce ideas off, or discuss plot with.
Thanks for the unexpectedly lovely story.
| Payton.Pride chapter 18 . 2/17/2013
Alright, so you need inspiration for a sequel, am I correct? I really need a sequel for this story-amazing if I do say so myself-so maybe, just MAYBE, I could be of help. There could be a new threat, perhaps? Or like, everything doing a once over and maybe someone else is trying to make a philosopher stone, like someone from the wizarding world? Or maybe all of them have to face the wrath of death eaters and followers of Voldemort and a new homonculis (Sorry if i spelled wrong) created by said death eaters? Sorry, that's all I got. Maybe it didn't help, and maybe it's too late to write a sequel... But, this is called me trying!
| Payton.Pride chapter 12 . 2/17/2013
| Payton.Pride chapter 2 . 2/17/2013
this is such a good story! Funny
| CrowNoYami chapter 18 . 1/1/2013
Oh how I love this story, whenever I need some RoyEd and a HPFMA crossover this is exactly where I go.
| BlackDeviouseRose chapter 18 . 8/14/2012
I absolutely loved this story - from the very beginning until the end. I Hope you have the sequel up as you had wrote this fiction many years ago. I'm going to go check out your profile now! Ja,
| rqgenevieve chapter 18 . 8/2/2012
Aww, what a cute ending :]]]
| rqgenevieve chapter 17 . 8/2/2012
Aww, so cute :3
| rqgenevieve chapter 16 . 8/2/2012
| rqgenevieve chapter 15 . 8/2/2012
FIGHT ON, EDWARD!
| rqgenevieve chapter 14 . 8/2/2012
Yayy, Harry is now forgiven XDD
| rqgenevieve chapter 13 . 8/2/2012
In yo face, Harry ;]]]
J.K. . .
Sorry. . . that was random :/
| rqgenevieve chapter 12 . 8/2/2012
Ohh, they're uncovering the truth, secret by secret. . .
Hehe, that sounded soo dramatic ;]]]