|Reviews for Bird of Prey|
| Ichijouji chapter 3 . 3/31/2007
Awesome I love it .
| Yo chapter 3 . 10/29/2005
Wow, I thought these chapters were excellent. You brought out the honorable and couragous side of Daisuke and gave an realistic feeling to Miyako. It was pretty awesome how you included Ken as well. It flowed nicely but I thought it could have used a bit more details because it still felt slightly rushed.
I eagerly look foward to your next installment.
| Cloaked Fox chapter 3 . 10/27/2005
I've read this all. I thought about it. And now I have a question.
What the HELL did you do to Inoue Miyako?
No rational explanation WHATSOEVER was provided for her sudden wimpiness. She just "changed a bit". WHY? Being more feminine doesn't mean becoming a doormat, and that's EXACTLY what she turned into. The girl who faced down BelialVamdemon, Archnemon, Mummymon, and the Digimon Kaiser is suddenly turned into a cowering wimp by two girls who Hawkmon could take out with a single wave of a wing? And you expect us to BELIEVE this tripe? I've been insulted by a lot of things, but this one takes the cake, the soda, and the whole party.
I understand this is supposed to be a friendship between Miyako and Daisuke. This shouldn't mean that the rest of the cast takes a convenient vacation. Hikari takes photographs. Wouldn't THAT be just as convincing as Miyako taking her clothes off in front of the school? Or at least the photos would've established some reasonable doubt beforehand, and then Miyako showing the real thing would make it undeniable. Or Hikari could photograph those girls HURTING HER. Why was Hikari effectively removed from Miyako's life? She is friends with them ALL, not just selected ones at particular times.
For that matter, why isn't she communicating at ALL with any of them? E-mail exists in the world of Digimon, as do phone calls. As I said before, Miyako is not just going to fold like a napkin and become a total wimp. Her reaction in stress situations is to STRIKE OUT, not ball up and whimper. Once again, being feminine is NOT to be helpless. That's what you showed her being. Helpless until the "right people" showed her what to do. I hestitate on it being the "right men", given you have no choice in their genders, but with all the supportive female influence removed from her life, it's at least something that's crossed my mind.
What about her sisters, Momoe and Chizuru? What do they think of their bright, brilliant, wonderful sister, the one who is almost as smart as Koushirou and yet who can't seem to manage to think of ANYTHING to do to these girls (hack into the school computer and wreck their grades? Give them all enormous late fees at the video store? ANYTHING! Just show her doing SOMETHING beyond being a token 'project' for Daisuke to pity.), suddenly being like this? And Mantarou? Her older brother? What would HE think about all of this?
I've said this before, to much worse authors, and I'll say it now to you: the Chosen do not exist in a vacuum. Other people exist beyond them. Don't ignore those people.
At least you actually know HOW to write. And yet, that somehow makes this even worse, because you DO. You obviously have Ken and Daisuke's characterization down cold. I'm glad of that. But you wrecked Miyako in the process of showing how good they are. She showed she can only be strong with the support of others. Which is well and good. But what about being strong when they're not around?
And as you were told earlier, Miyako *was* shown trying on the uniform for Odaiba in the second 02 movie. WHY would she decide NOT to go with her friends? Even if this school is so much better, showing her thought processes would help sculpt this 'new Miyako'...who I honestly can't like at all. She's mush, not steel.
This story seems to read more like "Miyako is utterly helpless on her own and can do nothing to defend herself" rather than "Miyako got into a bad situation and her friends help her out". Think about that.
If you want to debate this, go to my Livejournal, linked on my profile page. The appropriate post will have a link to this fic and my review, just like they all do.
| Birdboy chapter 3 . 10/27/2005
Quite a nice, fluffy ending.
| Dark Qiviut chapter 3 . 10/27/2005
Thank God. Yuki and Tori deserved to be expelled. Those two deserved it.
Good work, Benign. Yolei finally got some justice... even though that crooked Director didn't want that to happen. From the cheering from the crowd, Yolei was not the oly one who got bullied by Yuki and Tori. Those two brats deserved to be expelled. I wonder what their parents' reactions will be...
Good work, Benign, to a great three-shot. This fic here showed friendship and loyalty. The Davis/Yolei friendship fics are a huge rarity, and I'm glad you wrote one.
I hope to see another fic in the future, Benign. Here's a toast to you for your future fanfics. Good luck on your future works, and I'll see you next time...
| vi chapter 2 . 10/13/2005
plz update soon.
| Chibi-Kari chapter 2 . 10/3/2005
YAY dai-kun the HERO! anyways...i was looking at ur profile...and i'm super excited about creative spark cause i was gunna do a story kinda like that...but i'm a lazy bum so i wanna read one like what i was gunna do but now i'm not cause ur gunna...YAY! anyways...GREAT ADDITION! dai-kun getting a scholarship!
| Dark Qiviut chapter 2 . 10/1/2005
*growls at Yuki & Tori* I like to beat those bitches up...
Good work, Benign. Yolei's really feeling very intimidated by those bullies. That director's really snobby. Hmph. I hope the director gets beaten up.
Good work, Benign. Keep it up...
| Birdboy chapter 2 . 10/1/2005
Not much comment here... But, on the matter of nitpicks... Japan's not a federation, so it has no federal government. 'twas kind of jarring. XD
| Lady Azura chapter 1 . 9/29/2005
Brilliant! I love it so far! Update!
| Chibi-Kari chapter 1 . 9/29/2005
YAY! a new story with our dai-kun the hero! YEAY! this is really cute, poor miyako...CONTINUE!
| Dark Qiviut chapter 1 . 9/29/2005
Very interesting little circumstance here. Yolei's certainly having a little tough time in school with those bullies harassing her.
Good ol' Davis. He may be a little impulsive, but caring, too. Hope the others (minus Ken) regret not coming to see Yolei soon.
Very good work, Benign. See ya in the next chapter...
| Lily chapter 1 . 9/28/2005
Question. Why is Miyako NOT going to the same school as the older Chosen? It was shown they went to the same elementary school, so she would've went to their junior high school. In fact, she was even shown wearing the green uniform in one of the movies.
I hope that the rest of this has some reasonable explanation on why Miyako's spine has been surgically removed. I tend to find things like this revolting and I want explanations.