Reviews for His Son's Father
TheBlackCoyote chapter 4 . 10/14/2005
TheBlackCoyote chapter 3 . 10/14/2005
o.o what bad newsTT:p
LunarSquirrel chapter 6 . 10/14/2005
I don't really like writing long reviews, so I'll just say well done on your latest brilliant chapter, and I'll be awaiting the next one! _
TheBlackCoyote chapter 2 . 10/14/2005
ohi had t o log in to add u to faves:P
sgarecool chapter 1 . 10/14/2005
Very good:PMe wuve this%*runs to go read other chapis:P
Trouble Kelp chapter 6 . 10/14/2005
Very, very interesting, and very, very good. Please update soon.
Labschiz chapter 5 . 10/13/2005
Chapter 5! Huzzah! I've just replenished myself with some food (Chinese takeout) and here's the next review! Honestly, how could Arty have survived for two days without food and water AND still be capable of rational thought? Some things we'll never know...

Anywhatsit, I LOFF this chapter! There's more action and things are moving forward. Where to, I'm still not entirely sure. As usual, the hostage!Arty scene was great. Actually, it was greater than usual. Artemis was in full scheme mode and if Colfer wrote more like you, AF would be back on my Fav Book Shelf. His character is portrayed perfectly and the scene is delivered in a writing style just right for the Action/Adventure genre.

It was Sool! [/late reaction] And that Fairy In The Corner Of The Room With Needle (FITCOTRWP)! (Forgot his name) Wow, I didn't even expect that, though I did find it a bit odd (but not suspicious) that Sool was on vacation at such an inconvenient time. And Sool has a three-dimensional character, too. I gasp! He's not just a convenient villain puppet who spontaneously wants to take over the world because he's mean and Evol at heart. Hey, I just noticed that the majority of canon!fairy!villains were insane to some degree. Sool isn't completely insane; he's more of a very disturbed individual with a twisted sense of an ideal world. I just had a strange image of a dictator!Sool, commanding an army of gnomes and running routine uniform checks.

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, the first scene. Again, I love it so, so, so, so much. Artemis is devious by being human, dangerous in being meek. So cool. I have an idea what his plan might be, but I'm excited to see it unfold. It's a perfect scene for an action story. Oh, and I love the "aurum potestas est" bit. Very nice.

I liked the second part even more than the first. It has both Timmy and Angeline worrying over their son. That's just great and you can see that they really are a family. Albeit an unconventional and slightly disfunctional (and as Lilo would say "broken"), but a family nonetheless. The peek into their family life at the beginning brought a little of their "reality" to the surreal environment and you can feel how confused and lost Timmy and Angeline must feel.

Also, the comparison of Timmy to Arty was wonderful. I love how Timmy is unable to pull of amazing tactical feats like his son but that he's still in the same position his son was once in (rescuing his father from captivity) and is giving everything he can to get him back. I can't wait to see how Timmy will (continue to) respond to this situation.

I absopositively loved the part about "the tiny, hairy fairy" who'd only been eating and "insulting everybody else". XD And the stuff about Timmy and Foaly was fun to read, especially the patent thing. The Pandoras legend was just really creative. I've read plenty of AF fanfic legends and prophesies and this one is my favourite because it not only provides an interesting backstory but also shows the readers exactly how complex and dangerous the weapon is. There's also a bit of mystery involved and foreshadowing, which is good (no kidding).

Nitpicking? Sorry, none today. Oh, but in Chapter One the prophesy says, "Fowl by name and Fowl by nature", but shouldn't it be, "Foul by nature"?

Anyway, the end of this chapter was really frustrating (Must know what happens!), but in a good way. It's not exactly a cliff hanger, but it's a good, suspenseful way to end. I get the feeling that Artemis would have anticipated the Council's decision to off him along with anyone else in the building and would have already integrated that into his plan. I don't see how that would work, but it seems an Artemis-ish thing to do.

And now I abruptly end this review because my food waits for no man! Or woman! Or anything in between!


~You Know Who(m)
Labschiz chapter 4 . 10/13/2005
So sorry I waited so long to read this chapter! I was in Naruto Mode for the past few days and was distracted by ninja-like objects. Somehow your fic has dislodged my Naruto Obsession, which is not an easy task I assure you.

Okay, I'm a little light headed so I don't know how helpful this review is going to be. Did I tell you how much I love this story? I love it THIS ::spreads arms out a wide as she can:: much!

I can't really find anything to nitpick in this chapter. This is good for you but gives me little to write about here. Wait, what am I thinking? I can just fill this review with flattering compliments! Well, let's start with the first "half", the captive!Arty!scene. It was Oh So Artemis and just a great little scene. After seeing so much weakness from dear Arty and teetering on the edge of hopelessness, we get to see him back in action. I love seeing Artemis in a desperate situation because he performs best when under pressure. (Don't mind me. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say. Must need a nap or something...)

Oh, and you really sound like you know what you're talking about when it comes to the technology and science involved in this story. Whether you did research on this or you already knew it, either way this is great. I'm tired of finding nonsense and sad attempts at sounding "high-tech" in swiss cheese fics.

The second part was equally as great as the first. We get to see the fairies take action and pull together a Rescue the Mud Whelp plan. I love Timmy's (you knew I was going to mention him eventually) role in this. Comparing his current situation with the fairies and his son's previous dealings with them forms a kind of parallel between the two. Most fics concentrate on how much similar Artemis is to his father, but HSF so far has focused on how Artemis relates to his son. I can see now why "His Son's Father" is a more appropriate title than "His Father's Son".

And, yay for this chapter! I can't say update soon because you already updated., yeah. I'm very dizzy right now but I tried my best to be coherent. If you can make sense of the rubbish above ::points vaguely:: then you can have this slice of bread I found in my kitchen.

FairyHunter chapter 5 . 10/12/2005
Ye! *combusts with Joy*

Sorry that I didn't review chapter four. I'll include chappie four review in this one.

Also, I've gotten you a new reader. I showed this to my friend and she read the whole thing today during lunch. She luffed it. D

I love how we know things now. It's such a nice change. Pandora's story was just similiar enough to the original myth to believably have roots in the fairy realm. [/man, I hope that made some sense]

And Artemis finally cracked the code! I knew he would! (Does this mean the Random Article thing on Wikipedia isn't really random? *gapes*) Now he's gotta pee for his plan to work (hurray for bathrooms). Thing is, how's he going to Impliment Plan with Rheeson watching? He already is naked so he can't use that excuse to get Rheeson to turn his back. Hmm. Well, all shall become clear later, I suppose.

Grub fetching the Butlers? *laphs so hard that she misspells "laughs"* I'm glad that you didn't actually show us that encounter because however amusing it would be, it wouldn't quite fit in with the rest of the story.

"'That’s barbaric!' cried Short." "Barbaric" means relating to the culture of barbarians. "Barbarous" is the word you want; it means what people think barbaric means. I am too lazy to look it up again, but you can.

*pats slave!Arty* That was so sad. Why did he do it? This plan must be really good.

"Water [...blah...] and the paranoid feeling that his thought processes were being slowed down by the thickening of his cerebrospinal fluid. It was also an essential element of his plan [...blah blah]" This is kind of confusing. What was also an essential element of his plan? The first time I read this I thought you meant that the thickening of the cerebrospinal fluid was essential and only the second time round did I realize that I didn't have to look up what cerebrospinal fluid was because you meant water was essential to the Plan. Since the word that "it" was replacing was so far away from "it", it was unclear. The wording was weird when you mentioned his paranoid feeling. You should say what the paranoid feeling did. [/confusing]

How does Artemis figure out what the Box does without taking it apart? He's just messing about with the tiles and Learning Things and it doesn't quite make sense. Or maybe that's just me... *is picturing a Rubik's-cube-esque cylinder with a gold lid and is thinking "huh?"*

"We were interrupted before I could get into the reason for why the antimatter could so easily pass from one time-stream to another by the sound of Foaly’s amplified voice emanating from a computer; it had found something." Hmm. *rearranges sentence* "We were interrupted by the sound of Foaly’s amplified voice emanating from a computer before I could get into the reason for why the antimatter could so easily pass from one time-stream to another; it had found something." No... "We were interrupted before I could get into the reason for why the antimatter could so easily pass from one time-stream to another; the sound of Foaly’s amplified voice emanating from a computer told us that it had found something." Maybe. The issue I have with the sentence is how the reason-why-antimatter-etc. and the by-the-sound-of-Foaly's-etc. clauses run together and have no separation.

Oh! Observe the light bulb floating above my head as it flickers on with a [i]bing[/i]! Artemis made his locator somehow register on Foaly's computer as he, er, did his business. It has to be so.

I can't wait until the next chapter is posted! (Hint, hint. [/subtlety])

Oh yeah, thanks for your review of The Grey Area. I'm going to have to edit chapter one a lot, I suppose.

May your eyebrows remain ever unharmed,

LunarSquirrel chapter 5 . 10/12/2005
O.o I have to say that this story seems to defy and outdo all descriptions I can think of at this moment. Your talent is unbeleivable, I have certainly never come across such a good writer on fanfiction. Please save all of your readers from the torture of having to wait much longer for the next chapter, please update!
Aquawyrm chapter 5 . 10/12/2005
Hmm...everyone seems to think that Arty won't have come up with a plan by now, just in case they can't come and get him...this should be funny.

Please try to update as soon as you can, I've been really hyped over this fic for a while now. _
Trouble Kelp chapter 5 . 10/12/2005
Very good. Please update soon.
Kitty Rainbow chapter 5 . 10/12/2005
THANK YOU so much for posting this, it's what I really need right now. *is not having the best time of it at the moment* (No, I haven't read the Crim versions yet because that would require me to Do Work.)

Eek! No! I can't believe Arty's actually going to do it! *wibble* He's got to have something up his sleeve, right?

Ooh, this bit looks like what I was asking for: a bit of Timmy's psych. :D And it's... aww. *sniffles* That's actually an interesting take on Arty, I don't think I've seen anyone explain it quite like that. Very nice, very nice.

This bit about the party though... I had to read it twice before I got it all. It suddenly jumps from a prior time to now, without really saying so, and I had a little difficulty working out when this was supposed to be. But I like that you've included the blue diamond. *grin*

"Enough money to hire either a decent lawyer or a hit man," haha. That says as much about Timmy as it does about Spiro. Also, "and I was going to make an absolute fortune on the patents." I love what you're doing with this guy. XD;

Back to the cliffhangers again! What's Trub's idea? And is he going to be able to implement it? Ah!

Well I would now turn to con critting, but it's quite early in the morning and I have no brain. I must say I think the tone - or... something - has changed now, after chapter three, I guess mainly because it's less about "what the heck is going on?" and more "what the heck is going to happen next?" Less on the suspense side, more on the action/adventure. That's not necessarily a bad thing but it does make it feel almost like two different stories. However with your hints that we don't know quite everything yet, I think you're going to be able to successfully make it a cohesive whole.

But actually now that the focus is on what the characters are doing, rather than what we don't know, I don't think we've had quite enough action to balance it compared with the amount of suspense before. Technically not a lot has happened in this chapter, so I hope things will be getting a little more... frantic in the following chapters. Or more mysterious again.

Err. I'm still not being all that con critty, am I? Sorry. I haven't even had breakfast yet. Which I should go and do, so I can start on my imminently-due Proper Work. :/

Aquawyrm chapter 4 . 10/10/2005
Oh, this is so good! I can't wait for the next chapter, the whole thing is just totaly exciting! And it's a really good thing that Arty managed to figure out the pattern so he can meditate _

_please update as soon as you can_
Kitty Rainbow chapter 4 . 10/10/2005
I really ought to be doing work but, bah, the call of fic is too strong...

Whoomph! Yes, Artemis brain moment, hah! *punches the air* Mwahaha, you just know he's always going to get the upper hand. (Eventually.)

"...and then I won’t be able to vouch for anyone’s safety,” LOL. Too true, too true.

Aha, at last, an explanation of Pandora's Box. Very interesting in terms of its ramifications, plotwise, but as a mystery now revealed (like most mysteries revealed) as an object it suddenly seems very ordinary. I hope that whatever the warlocks did put inside the box will enable you to reintroduce a bit of mystery to this thing and get another "ooh" moment out of it when that's explained.

Rheeson too? Hmm, the plot thickens. Again. (Soon it's going to be as solid as my Dad's custard!)

Yay, Vein. I know this is totally random but I love it when people bring in once-mentioned characters. I mean, Vein was supposed to be "number one" and we never heard about him again! So even if you don't mention him again, I think it's cool you put him in there. Attention to canon detail, that is. ;)

Hmm, the first chapter without a cliffhanger ending. Horribly teasing though they are, I think cliffhangers are also good because they make you want to find out what happens next. This ending, after all the other endings, seems like... well, not a let down, but it's a gentle tease rather than a are-you-starting-punch-in-the-face.

So, con crit. Right now the plot has kind of settled: they have a plan of sorts and they know where they're going. After all of the suspense and secrets, it seems a bit generic, almost, to allow the characters to merely go on a search with reasonable confidence. I think we're going to need a lot of action and tense situations in the next chapter to keep up the interest.

Hmm, this is turning out to be "con advice" more than "con crit" but anyway. Another very good chapter. :D


PS: Yeti has not only suggested that I read the copies for Crim you sent her, but told me how to access them! *laughs like a maniac* Ah, the pros of being a Crim Dwarf.
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