|Reviews for In The Sun|
| Reviewer chapter 3 . 11/11/2014
You have a very promising story. I like your plot and your summary is intriguing. The problem though is your... Well... I dont know how to say it, but you kept on using inappropriate words to describe things. I cant really put it aside, seeing im having a hard time trying to understand what you meant by using those words to scenes or description that you wrote.
"The undying wind appeared and blew pass them."
The word undying meant it never dies, always there no matter what. But you went on using 'appeared' meaning the wind was not there before...its a bit confusing you see.
You could re-wrote it as: 'The freezing wind blew around them once again.'
I'm not really sure if there's a word as 'inerasable' and using it as an adjective for describing another adjective as 'blush'. You probably meant 'permanent'. Although there's no such thing as permanent blush unless you were born with red skin on the face. Although that phrase had been used once in a while, for describing a person who never stop blushing, like for example:
Her face has a permanent blush whenever she's around her crush.
Im not going to detail everything but you need to have someone beta your work. Im actually excited when i read your summary, because honestly its very exciting. But... Well... Anyway, good luck.
| BirdieWolf15 chapter 15 . 6/6/2014
Adorable. And I love the proposal. "I see you" ugh. It would be a dream to have someone tell me that.
| Guest chapter 4 . 2/8/2014
no offence but im sooooooooooooo thankful dat the narusaku is over i had my fist folded reading that i really hate narusaku
| moira33 chapter 1 . 4/1/2013
Now I remember why I can not see Naruto and Sakura together the fluff I can not even imagine it I mean Sakura always beats him it is just my opinion anyway it is a interesting story next chappy...
| Original-Character-Disorder chapter 15 . 2/8/2013
AWWWWW! I love it! Yes yes yes! Great job!
| Heavy-D-Friki chapter 15 . 12/22/2011
N'aaw that was such a beautiful story! :D
| Nafsi-chan chapter 15 . 10/25/2011
*snif snif* THAT WAS ONE THE BEST STORIES EVEEEER!
| RIPtide010 chapter 15 . 7/2/2011
I loved the story it feels very real. I enjoy reading it.
| Guest chapter 15 . 6/6/2011
This was unspeakably awesome! I loved how you handled the relationship dynamics of Sakura and Hinata with Naruto. Excellent work!
| Uchiha-Lover2410 chapter 15 . 3/8/2011
THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL! It almost made me cry, and I couldn't stop reading...
| Lion chapter 4 . 3/6/2011
I don't really like Sakura and Naruto together but I don't HATE her. So this made me cry, anyone from the Naruto universe close to Naruto or Hinata dying makes me sad :(
| stellacisem chapter 15 . 2/7/2011
Beautiful!:D I feel sorry for Sakura but this was like a masterpiece! Love it love it love it love it!;D
| Kataangforever2 chapter 15 . 12/12/2010
"They really were in the sun." - Priceless...just priceless...one of the best fics I've ever read.I just don't have words to express my feelings...amazing!
| Kataangforever2 chapter 11 . 12/12/2010
Again one strong chapter...Naruto is lost and need guidance,but..there is a problem... "She felt like they were moving in the back of her mind they were stopping." That's where it 's where Naruto finally realized that he's lost and he can't forget about Sakura. - "Then,suddenly,he saw her." I didn't quite understand this - "He wanted her,but he did not know if he could have her." The problem is that Hinata doesn't want to understand his situation.I think she overreacted a little,but still you made me cry..again... :) The most important question is "It he doing the right thing?" yeah...awesome chapter :X
| Kataangforever2 chapter 10 . 12/12/2010
Okay..everyone who thinks Hinata's trying to replace Sakura...they are wrong...partly. Hinata's constantly fighting part of her wants to replace her (or at least that's what she thinks) and the other wants to help Naruto...to make him fell loved again. And I think Naruto has fault here. I think he's trying to replace Sakura... no wait .. I didn't say it right. I think Naruto's trying to forget the pain and replace it with love or something...He sees Sakura in Hinata's face and...ugh! Yeah..I think you got it...they are both is truly hurt ...someone revieweder your (I am sorry,but I can't remember your name :S ) and said that pain and loss can seriously mess up a person's mind and he or she'r right. Just don't blame Hinata... she's just trying to make Naruto-kun happy again, all thought she cannot replace Sakura (in this fic ... again I AM A NARUHINA FAN FOREVER AND ALWAYS!) :)