|Reviews for Untied|
| Viigor chapter 3 . 7/19/2006
It's clearly an AU . Very funny in the last chapter I mus say. And Hibiki in this strange version is quite intersting. After all, al he like is FIGHT XD.
Maybe yo can improve in fight scenes with more description, but Im not saying "I want more and longer fire-sword cyber fights". Just, you know, describe more the fight or how the ting is destroyed. Simply telling it isn't very good.
But the other scenes, characterizations, and narration or other kind of scenes was good .
Keep up with this, and with longer chaps.
| Viigor chapter 4 . 7/18/2006
This chap made me Smile and laugh. Your ideas are very nice .
More objective reviews tomorrow :D
| Strawberry Eggs chapter 4 . 7/14/2006
Heh heh, I was starting to wonder about this story. Good to see a new chapter... and a good one at that! As always, the narration and character dialouge are flawless. It's especaillu funny imagining Hibiki dashing into the room after seeing Dita and dragging things under the bed! XD The way Rabat methodically devised where Hibiki would be hiding was funny too.
There are a few typos, such as the word "were" when it should have been "we're" and a missplaced "they", but other than tath, nice work! _ This story is getting cute, but that beginning paragraph seems like it's foretelling something ominus...I'll have to find out later...
What do you mean by new chapters to "The Third War"? As in compeltely new, or are you just diving some chapters into multiple ones?
| Strawberry Eggs chapter 3 . 4/3/2006
Well, that was certianly a brutal way for Hibki to be freed from Bart. oO It's a miracle he survived that.
This seems to be shorter than your chapters for "Third War", but I don't find that a problem. This was still a good chapter, with it looking like Hibiki would be under his Uncle's control for the rest of his life, only to have an accident free him (unless the other also somehow survived, or the ones who did it come after him).
yay, Dita's coming next chapter! I can't wait! _
| Strawberry Eggs chapter 2 . 12/13/2005
I don't mind a late update. Most people here have lives, including myself (well if you call college a life XP). Anyway, I'm starting to enjoy this. Again your writing skills come through in this piece. Excellent diction and dialouge are used. Bart isn't exactly like himself, but then again this is an adaptation of another moive using the Vandread characters. It seems interseting that Hibiki is entraced a bit by the piano. Anyway, great chapter, I likle foward to more!
| Gammer chapter 1 . 10/5/2005
Interesting to cross Unleashed with Vandread. But so far you're doing good. Hibiki does seem to fit the part you gave him. Interesting that you had Bart be the boss, but he does seem like the type. Anyway good job so far, I hope the next chapter comes out soon.
| Strawberry Eggs chapter 1 . 10/3/2005
Well I never saw Unleased...but I suppose that was a part of reason for it? Or maybe it. It reminds me of my current fic, a re-telling of the story of Phantasy Star Online with characters from Tales of Symphonia.
Still this seems very interesting. Hibiki is some madbeast under Bart's control. I'd like to knwo where this is heading, so I'll be sure to read the next chapter!