|Reviews for 10 Leisurely Days|
| Teen Tyrant chapter 22 . 4/24/2006
I said it in my first review of this story and I'll say it now in my last: you are a f*ing genius! This is one good thing that I am truely sad had to come to an end, but the way it does was most satisfying, in a more complete way than any other Rob/Star romance fic ever has. Not too much, but not to little, and possiblity for the future. I am a little sad about the necklace, but your explaination makes sense. Congratulations for a job well done, in this, the ultimate Teen Titans fanfiction story. See you next time around, and thank you, Blue Ten.
| tigerchic121 chapter 21 . 4/23/2006
Whoa...the reviews have spell check for all the different languages...that's weird.
Before I start I would like to say that this is one of the best stories I have written. It has entertained me, amazed me, and changed how I view fanfictions. I think if I hadn't stumbled across this story I wouldn't truly get fanfiction. It's your story that has made me step back and critique myself, and my writings. Thank you!
This chapter was great! Though as I came into this chapter I had the feeling that it too, would not be the last. Looks like my suspicions were right!
The missing piece between Robin and Starfire was the thing I came into this chapter, looking forward to the most. I have to say I wasn't disappointed. True I may have wanted a little kiss or two in there (hehe) but who (that is a R/S shipper) wouldn't want that? The reason I liked it is because of Robin. Robin is usually the one that backs down. He can't seem to show that he-not only the team-cares for Starfire. This story has set the stage, to breaking that bad habit. He's progressed in every chapter and in this one, I felt very proud. Of your writing skills, and of Robin. Not saying that Starfire was no help, but she is a very strong female, and shows her emotions much easier. For Robin to come out, takes some work.
Also, another reason I was very happy with that section is because Starfire broke control. I knew, knew, knew that Robin would be the one to break her (not literally: P) They have a bond, that can only be explained in terms of love/relationship and in the end, that is what pulled her through. I was jumping up and down when I saw that.
Now...on to the fight!
The fight was the highlight of the chapter. Not only was it choreographed well, but it also revealed many of the questions posed in the story. Such as who Grey was, and why he had done everything he had. I know you said that a lot of people were beginning to guess Tyrus was Grey, but that came as an absolute surprise to me! I thought Tyrus had died! I had been really sad because Tyrus had died, but reading this chapter I was blown back! I couldn't believe it! You really did good pulling that off. The foreshadowing was there, but alas it was not spotted. I was even more surprised when Robin knew.
The actual fighting style left little up to imagination, which was good. Plus it wasn't complicated, though not dull, and helped bring the reader into the fight. Those two things combined makes for a great fight scene. I would have been happy with Robin and Starfire to beat him down, alone, but the angst thrown in made it all the better.
Robin is obsessive. He is driven to a point of madness-this is true. We've all seen it. With Slade, with Red X, if he needs something done, he will not rest until it is. Most of the time this is a bad thing. It pushes Robin away from his team mates, and builds a cold persona, a shield, a mask. This personality is created though it's not his true self. He cares for his team, he likes to have fun, but this is often lost in the shuffle. I praise you for turning this point of his personality and creating something good with it. You didn't just throw it away; you brought it into the story and used it to your advantage. The drive to keep fighting, for Starfire. You explained it terms of the heart-which is what there relationship is about. The utter sweetest thing a guy could ever do for a girl. Show them they would fight to the end for them. That, my friend, is one of the most kick-ass pieces of writing I have ever seen.
I just hope, really, really, truly hope that Starfire takes everything Robin did and said for her/to her, in perspective. If she contemplates and assesses his actions, then I think they’ll be no guess over whether she would leave to Tamaran of not (the longest standing question in the story.) But more important, if she examines his actions, then she’ll realize that her feelings towards Robin are not as unrequited as she thinks. Though as easy as it is for US to see that Robin has feelings for her, and vice versa, for Robin and Starfire, it is one of the things they are utterly clueless about. As much as they can read each others emotions that particular aspect about each other has to be spelled out to them.
I wonder how long Robin had the communicator on for. Only through Grey’s speech or was it longer?
I was right about the whole Jericho brainwash thing, which made me feel better, after I missed the whole Tyrus being Grey thing. Given Jericho’s powers it fit perfectly. It also brought the whole Slade aspect into the story, so kudos to you.
You also explained the whole Jinx fighting against the Titans thing, it wouldn’t have made much sense for her to go back to the HIVE.
Lot’s of nice little BB/Rae moments in the chapter. They have a very cute relationship! Robin and Starfire catching them was golden, but not too awkward as those situations seem to get. Only because of Robin’s injuries though.
I liked that you focused on Cyborg and Slade a bit more in this chapter. They are actually really interesting together, and have a certain group dynamic. Making Slade seem more human, has happened a lot in this story, and as in Slade’s case all humans go through the inevitable…
…I feel bad for Slade. True he is a killer/criminal mastermind, but in the end he gave it all for his children. In this story…in the comic too. Beast Boys joke was appreciated! :P
Now the final cliffhanger…wow. I don’t want to guess in hopes I’m wrong AND in hopes I’m right. Because I don’t even have a guess. So for now I wait, and hope that this review has helped.
Thank you, once again,
P.S. Just in case you didn’t know, you are nominated for Best Author and Best Story in the R/S shrines Spring Fanfiction Award. Hope you do great!
| Luna Rapunzel chapter 21 . 4/22/2006
Sorry for the delay- check your forums for my justifications. XP
Okay, anyways. I'm totally bored right now, and it's eleven o'clock at night- obviously, that means that I'm going to give you a (most likely) lengthy review that probably will not in any way whatsoever affect your future writing for the simple reason that THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. I mean, okay, I admit to having issues with the punctuation and capitalization in your quotations and attributions, but that's IT. Nothing else. So, basically, I'm about to blow [x] minutes of my life on something completely pointless as a thunderstorm is raging right outside my house, lightening included. Pathetic, aren't I? XD
So, because you're basically the ideal writer for every fanfiction author to look up to (myself included- I know what comprises good fanfiction, but I have issues with figuring out how to write mine the "right" way, so observing writing that I admire for having that "it" quality to it helps me reprogram myself to think in the same manner while writing... that make sense?), I can't give my super-duper-ly famous constructive criticism. Well, I COULD ramble about attributions and quotations, but I usually don't make much sense with grammar rants because I get confusingly technical, so I'll make NO sense because it's so late at night. If I read the epilogue when I'm not so tired, expect it then- even though I understand that it could potentially be a bit awkward for a thirteen-year-old nobody to be correcting YOU, the God of All Things Fanfiction, on your grammar. XD Therefore, I'll be putting a twist on the usual constructive criticism and making it that much more positive- instead of helping you improve by pointing out and correcting flaws, I'll give constructive PRAISE by rambling about why your writing is an excellent model of how smart people write and going on about how it's wicked that you write that way and encouraging you to write that way in the future. Any questions? No? Excellent; here comes the constructive praise.
First, I just HAVE to go on about the specific aspects of this chapter that I absolutely ADORED. And yes, I know that I'm usually lazy and give a two-sentence review, so ignore the fact that this post is huge already without me having commented on anything you've written and get used to the fact that I like to babble. XD Okay, anyways, back on topic- you had the most pwning sentence EVER in this thing. It was pwning, you hear? PWNING, I SAY, PWNING! -ahem- Sorry. Anyways, all hail and commend the pwnest sentence ever:
"'Why don't you just... SHOW me again.'"
xD I was laughing harder than all get-out when I got around to that lovely piece of dialogue. I mean, coming from RAVEN, of all people... that totally calls for HEAVY giggles. No wonder I woke my sister up (yes, she's two years older than me and goes to bed three and a half hours before I do- I'm the insomniac, and she's the early bird that wakes up at 4 in the morning, so go figure).
Now, outside of the exact words you wrote and onto the chapter's content itself... I actually feel rather bad for Slade, considering how everything ended for him, his feelings about Jericho and immense care for him, good deeds mixed in with his evilness, et cetera, et cetera. He definitely wasn't a good guy, that's for sure, but there's definitely something in him that you can pity... no, not pity, but sympathize with. Call me crazy, but he sounds like a bit of a tortured soul to me, especially because he's done such contradicting events in his lifetime, such as creating the technology that he so desperately tried to destroy in this chapter... amazing, really. Plus, you grasped his emotions and stuff SO FREAKING WELL. From that alone, it's a bit obvious that you pwn (and that I'm a blasted insane fangirl that likes the word "pwn" xD). I feel bad for him, even, for having to go like that...
Making Grey really be Tyrus was genius. I stink at suspecting foreshadowing, so when I read that part, I did a double take and choked- even though I wasn't eating anything- and the choke soon turned into a cough, which became a hack because of my stupid SICKNESS that I really must kill one of these days... okay, enough said. But having Robin know it all that time- brilliant, brilliant. The kid's definitely a mastermind, from the looks of it. Now, all he needs is to turn evil... haha, just kidding! XP
Jericho's role, too, was quite creative. It just goes to show that Robin isn't the only mastermind- Tyrus is one, too, for having devised his plan with such detail and accuracy. Never mind his technical errors in fighting Robin- his logic and such are stunning. And to think that he honestly believed that he was doing the world a favor... I pity him, too. No sympathy for Ty, but definitely an ounce or so of pity. Of course, I've got way more than an ounce of anger at him for daring to attack Robin like that and everything. The evilness!
Okay, hands down, you're a creative wonder. -cue applause-
Anyhow, it's currently 11:17; I started this at 10:54. Twenty-three minutes of my life on pointlessness? Sounds good to me. Now, I must end this utterly useless ramble because my dad is annoyed at me for going online during a storm; plus, it's apparently "too late" to be online. Off to start reading A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking! (That dude really IS a genius. -is associated with too many geniuses these days- xD) Tata, and nice work! I'm looking forward to the epilogue.
| Forlong chapter 21 . 4/22/2006
Great chapter. Can't wait for the end.
| Starfire I chapter 8 . 4/22/2006
That was SO AWESOME! The way that you write puts such a great picture in my head, it's almost as if I am watching it on television! And your imagination totally rocks! Like coming up with that name for the rope. Lucidium. It rolls off the tongue. Whenever I try to make up names for things they always come out sounding weird. Anyway, best chapter by far (So far). I expect that they will only get better from here!
Git R' Done
| Starfire I chapter 7 . 4/22/2006
Oh my gosh, BB, Rae, and Cy are so mischievous! I must say, I am rather stunned at your large vocabulary, it's really cool! You might not want to use some of those stranger words, I keep having to look them up! But don't let my ignorance discourage you, this was another totally awesome chapter!
Git R' Done
| Starfire I chapter 6 . 4/22/2006
That was a sheer work of genius!The absolute best chapter so far!
Git R' Done
| Starfire I chapter 5 . 4/22/2006
That last part had me cracking up! Raven acting all mischevious and everything! This is going great!
Git R' Done
| Starfire I chapter 4 . 4/22/2006
I was so totally worried there for second! I thought that STarfire thad been kidnaped! Great chapter!
Git R' Done
| Starfire I chapter 3 . 4/22/2006
Wow! That Iron Idiot means buisiness! That was a great chapter!
Git R' Done
| Starfire I chapter 2 . 4/22/2006
Really great chapter! That was awesome how you came up with the cloaking shield and everything! Kerp up the good work.
Git R' Done
| Starfire I chapter 1 . 4/22/2006
Thaty was a really good chapter, long chapters are the best. This sounds like it is going to get really good!
Git R' Done
| Forlong chapter 17 . 4/21/2006
Lovebird Robin? That's interesting.
| Forlong chapter 16 . 4/21/2006
So that's how you spell apocalypse.
I can totally see BB and Rave playing air hockey and Robin and Star playing DDR. Awesomeness!
| Forlong chapter 15 . 4/21/2006
Awesome fight scene. Can't get that image of Beast Boy and Raven pasted together on the wall out of my head.