Reviews for Changing Seasons
JDH1080 chapter 19 . 6/1/2021
Man this story is such a treat. I'm not going to lie, I haven't really thought of how Shinji and Hikari would work as a couple. I figure with their personalities they would probably make for a good pairing since she is a very sweet straight laced girl and Shinji's also usually pretty mild mannered. Their relationship in this is honestly very wholesome and pretty realistic, even the risque parts. (Probably the only thing I'd criticize is that for a couple of young teens, they seemed to be more skilled at sex and foreplay than you would expect. Their first session of intercourse is definitely way too idealized, though maybe that criticism can be washed away from the fact that they're two young teens in a "first love" kind of scenario. So it's idealized for them. Either I've still enjoyed this.)

Another thing I really, really want to compliment is your portrayal and development of Asuka. Holy shit, you have nailed this character so we'll, that it's not even funny. I could so see her making the choices she's made in this story. Her initial concentration with Hikari and saying she doesn't care if she dates Shinji. Her teasing and trying to get a rise out of Shinji, even though she doesn't quite realize why. Her heart break at discovering that they've become sexually active, and her anger and rage. And then here where she's finally mellowed out and has become friendly with Shinji again and probably even realizes and can admit, to herself, that she likes him. As a usual Shinji/Asuka shipper damn, I would love to see this kind of set up with them getting together in the end. But I do like the direction you've taken this story as a Shinji/Hikari romance.

Last little bit. I will note that while this story is of high quality there are many, many spelling mistakes or added/missing words littered throughout. Not enough to break my immersion or make me drop the story. Though it definitely does become death of a million paper it's. (Trust me, if this story was not of good quality I would have dropped within the first paragraph of the first chapter. But I've made it to chapter 19. So take that as you will.)

Though I imagine that this is all a moot point considering this story hasn't been updated in over a decade and I doubt that the next chapter would be the conclusion. Either, thank you for writing a quality Shinji/Hikari romance, there are definitely not enough. And I'd you do ever feel the drive to pick back up I will happily keep reading.
Mader Levap chapter 7 . 2/28/2021
Moral dilemma of Ritsuko here is kinda silly. She is actively and knowingly participating in scheme that will cause Third Impact. What is one abortion compared to human extinction?
Mader Levap chapter 2 . 2/21/2021
Maybe you should learn difference between "your" and "you're".
Guest chapter 8 . 7/23/2019
grown use to - grown used to

therewere - there were

was falling in love with him - falling in love with him (redundant since was is used before the inserted sentence)
Guest chapter 8 . 7/23/2019
your Shinji - you're Shinji

aroung - around

lots a boy friends - lots of boyfriends
Guest chapter 7 . 7/23/2019
discussing the Ikari's - discussing Ikari's

romanitc - romantic

truely - truly
Guest chapter 7 . 7/23/2019
cigerette - cigarette
typos chapter 6 . 7/23/2019
have left the apartment and ran - have left the apartment and run

rubbing herself ass - rubbing her ass

a mischievously way - a mischievous way

amd - and

it's descent - its descent

it's lock - its lock

it's owner - its owner
typo chapter 6 . 7/23/2019
she's was so polite - she's so polite
echo42 chapter 1 . 7/5/2016
Why does Toji sound like a pervy Meowth?
Ibskib chapter 8 . 4/14/2016
There are plenty more mistakes, dozens in every chapter, if this author ever continues the story he should get himself a beta, preferably two or three.

your - you're (this error pops up every chapter)
aroung - around
alot - a lot
Ibskib chapter 6 . 4/14/2016
prevert - pervert

I noticed a lot of typos like this, this story is badly in need of proofreading, which is a shame, it seems quite promising otherwise.
hga chapter 2 . 4/7/2014
I can believe this is your first fanfic, two negative comments on that: your spelling is wrong often enough to be a little jarring, and you haven't discovered the secret of making the developing romance between two very shy people not be ... very slow, very wordy in prose. I can see this being a lot easier in a manga or anime, but very hard in prose, no shame in having this problem. And if I was more interested in a romance for romance's sake it might not be such a problem for me.

Otherwise, it's quite good, Shinji's a bit OOC, but *someone* has to be if this pairing is to have any chance in a realistic story (that doesn't use a brute force trope like locking the two up together for a few days), even after Touji's convenient screw-up. In that, all the little things that are drawing these two people together, your plotting is rock solid, this is very believable, if you can believe Hikari could make such a Freudian slip in such a circumstance, which I can.

And things like this can happen outside of movies, between two earnest and basically honest people (e.g. Shinji's dishonesty is only to protect, himself especially and others. He doesn't lie to hurt people, and I think canon Hikari is the same way (it's *very* hard to think of her deliberately hurting someone)).

Hmmm, and wow, the end scene between the three sisters avoids the above slowness problem, and is again very solidly plotted, and lots of fun. I'll give this fanfic a bit more of a chance.
abraxas01 chapter 1 . 2/13/2014
Well, I suppose, other than all the grammatical errors, spelling, capitalization and such, it's not a bad story. Certainly needs some attention though.
Spazzzh20 chapter 20 . 12/18/2013
Hey this is an amazing story that you have here. I kn w it hasn't been updated in over 5 years, but maybe you could surprise us. Anyway I hope that if yu are still alive that you have at least some intent of finishing it. Happy holidays.
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