|Reviews for Jewels|
| PistolInTheArea chapter 1 . 11/25/2013
Whoa, kinda dark.
| Autumn Leaf Ninja chapter 1 . 10/27/2013
Clever and well-written. I liked it! :)
My only major concern was the dialogue. Several times, you wrote it this way:
"'Blah blah blah.' He said, staring blankly ahead."
Instead, correct dialogue should typically be written this way:
"'Blah blah blah,' he said, staring blankly ahead."
Of course, the noun and attribution tag can go before or in between the dialogue as well, but that was just an example of how to write dialogue when the noun and attribution tag follow dialogue. On that note, I hope this constructive criticism is helpful to you. :)
Anyway, this was very creative and quirky. Keep up the awesome work! :D
- Ninja :3
| Kago no Tori chapter 1 . 7/23/2013
This makes me sad and happy at the same time. I can definitely relate to the feeling of wanting to be with your team - but I wouldn't necessarily kill myself over it, lmao. But if I got hit by a car or something or choked by a monkey I mean I wouldn't mind...
But I digress, I really love your writing. I'm slowly working through your pokemon collection and I'm loving every bit of it. Thank you for being around!
-kago no tori-
| Dragonlord1199 chapter 1 . 7/14/2013
That was kind of depressing
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/22/2013
I didn't really find it angsty or creepy.
I just found the general insanity of the main character funny, and then the little boy at the end.
When I was younger, I wished (numerous times) that Pokemon could be real. Then I realized that if Pokemon WERE real, battling would be disallowed and charged as abuse, I probably wouldn't be allowed to leave home, I'd be missing out on education, there'd be no way I would actually get a level 78 Umbreon to behave, nor would I be able to get one in the first place, and Team Rocket would more than likely beat me if I ever got the guts to go in there.
And there'd be no way to delete all saved data.
| Vivi the Vixen chapter 1 . 2/18/2012
this is how I feel but I would never die to be in the pokemon world no matter how awesome it would be
| midnight.wolf62 chapter 1 . 7/6/2010
Well, that's life, I guess.
| Sparkly Emerald chapter 1 . 7/5/2010
Wow, that was disturbing... In a ood way,if that makes any sense. It gave me the creeps, it was so lost and dark...
| She Who Loves Pineapples chapter 1 . 6/3/2010
| ZombieRider chapter 1 . 12/10/2009
It just takes a little imagination, thats all :D then you can do anything
| Keeper of Fatestones chapter 1 . 9/8/2009
...Thats a bit...
On the one hand, it seems like a perfectly general obsession. On the other, its a bit depressing. Does it mean she... well, killed herself? It gives me quite a bit to think about, to say the least.
| RhythmicRhapsody chapter 1 . 8/9/2009
| Loki the Wolf-Fox chapter 1 . 7/2/2009
| Tigeress-Jayde chapter 1 . 11/12/2008
i love the last bit the best but it is cool
| Twisted Midnight Dreams chapter 1 . 3/5/2008
I love it. I have much in common with that girl. I'll be with my jewels within the year.