Reviews for Hedge Clippers are the Path to Love
1LukeLorelaiFan chapter 3 . 8/3/2006
Oh...I like the story. The girl is so original. Write more please.
Lolabelle26 chapter 3 . 4/9/2006
I just read, cuz somebody suggested it.

I guess that this would fall in the category of, "What every fan wishes would happen to them" I mean, seriously, knowing that you were GOD! God, (whoops!) i wish that that would happen to me! Ahh, you know what i mean. (wink wink)

You really have ROASTED ALMONDS in your purse? Life is quite random at times...

Although i will agree, jet lag does do crazy things to you. One time i was jet lagged, and was so awake, that i went down stairs, turned on the tv, and started doing yoga and kick-boxing OnDemand in my living room at 3 in the morning. That WAS some gnarly cardio, man.
thefictionalfreak chapter 3 . 2/8/2006
hahahahahahahahaha! thats all I have to say... and hedge clippers... hahahaha
Averse chapter 3 . 1/14/2006
I laughed out loud so many times, i think I split my stomach. But I really didn't. Because then I wouldn't THINK I split my stomach, I'd know. Because I wouldn't be reviewing, I'd be in surgery.
LiveinLivingColor chapter 3 . 1/2/2006
Let me just ask you one question...when did you become so freaking hilarious? I've tried to write funny things, I did, but never, ever in this lifetime or the next, will I be half as good as you. Are you ASP in disguise or something?

Seriously, you ARE the universal Gilmore Girls fanfiction hero. everyone loves you. You are on EVERY favorite author list, okay?

How the hell did you do that?
CrazyAlwaysClueNever chapter 3 . 12/18/2005
ok how many times have i wanted to walk into my tv and do that. too many that's how many. i mean it's obvious right from the start that he totally loves her but what does he do? he wipes his bloody counter that's what he does the flannelic pyhcopath. and i totally see you being a redhead i mean redheads are just more fun (which is strange for me to say since i'm very dark blonde or very light brown depending on who you talk to) i have a cousin whos a redhead and she's really fun and cool and stuff or she used to be until she met this guy and now shes a vegan who is obsesed with helth food who drinks ancient egyption beer (seriously they found the recipe in hierglyphics on a jar in a tomb and made the beer) but the point is redheadsfun. and i totally agree with the whole what's with the long lost daughter thing it's completely ridiculas. luke the careful the clean (just look at his counter) the neurotically yours (have you ever seen foamy that little tiny voice even though he has no mouth i'd love to know how he does that). like he'd ever have a long lost daughter that's like a christopher thing to do, that is what christopher did only he knew about rory so it wasn't exactly long lost but you get the idea and why whould luke sleep wit the kind of person who would name their kid after a month anway. i mean people like that hate their children they name them after somthing stamped on every calendar from here to china (since china makes everything thas actually true not hyperbole ((oh and don't buy suviers everything is made in china like i said so you don't get somthing from where you are it's from china and you already have stuff from chins i bet you do. i went to washington dc and my cousin needed change so we had to buy somthing and so i got this giant suvenier pencil and guess what it said roght next to the huge washinton dc. a little tiny made in china.) so anyway this fic was really fun but that whole im your daughter thing opened up some wounds with the soapyness of gilmore recently. i swear if emily turns out to have a twin sister she didn't know about who grew up the exact opposite of emily because she was in foster care or somthing i am going to sue somebody. i don't know who and i don't know how but i am going to sue somebody! or start a protest. whatever.
ChocolatMoosePi chapter 3 . 11/13/2005
haha, i was a chimney sweep for halloween.
victorialeigh chapter 3 . 10/29/2005
Sorry you went off on a tangent that I couldn't(wouldn't) follow. Everyone doesn't have to like it, if you like what you're doing stick to it. Thanks for writing anyways.
raggedyman-irememberyou chapter 3 . 10/17/2005
omg, i am so sorry! i found the story after you had posted ch. 2, and i swear, i was gonna review. but then i only had, like, 2 min. to review, so i didn't want to just leave you a sucky one, so i didnt review at all. and, i know, this is bad, and awful, and horrible, but, i am reviewing now, right? yay! "celebrate! celebrate! Luke, celebrate!" "I'll have a beer tonight." "No, no, beer is bad! Cookies! Cookies! Cookies! Celebrate! Cookies!" haha. i just wathced that one, too. for the fourth time. i found it appropriate to watch the fourth season four times before i put it on the shelf with the other all-holy boxed sets. and, oh my god! ah! december thirteenth, of course it's not too early to get excited! of course, i have just gotten over the huge dent the fourth season purchase made in my cash flow, so buying it might be a problem on my measly three-dollar-a-week allowance and my stupid parents not letting me get a job, combined with christmas present buying. and then my dad's all like, well, you can just wait until christmas and someone will prolly get it for you. can you believe that? what an idea! that's like almost two weeks after it's released. i could've watched it, like four times! what a butt. and nwo my bitchy older sister is hovwring annoyingly over me and reading everything i say out loud in a public library. Meghan is an asshole and an half. Gerard Butler looks like a butt. (Sorry, i was trying to see if she would say that out loud too.) but, i think i'm negotiating a deal with my sister. yes, the one who's being weird right now, but she and i are going to combine on our fam's christmas presents, and then she's going to put up part opf the money for season five nd then i'll pay her back. so, i will be able to pre-order it, i hope, and maybe get it on its release date. cross your fingers!

anyhoo, i love this story. the funny thing is, i could totally see me there in place of your character, except for the fact that i'm a brunette. oh, that reminds me, funny phrase that is on my friend's t-shirt. "Blondes may have more fun, but brunettes can add." I told this to my blonde friend, and she hit me over the head with her planner. i still have a bruise. but i am part of the Coalition to Take Over The World With Brunette Power, so i like bothering blondes. bother, bother,bother, bother. heh heh, potter puppet pals rules. if you've ever read the harry potter books, go to and look up potter puppet pals. it's an experience you will never forget, i guarantee it.

anyway, i know the rant is kinda short, but i have about ten minutes until i have to leave. so, signing off.
The Electric CO chapter 3 . 10/16/2005
hahahahahahahahah! this was WEIRD! xD but cool!
Alexiamanda chapter 3 . 10/16/2005
You're kidding- the END? Just once you should be like "ooh, this one's going to be three chapters" and then make it four or if you want to be evil it could be the other way around and people would come after you with torches and pitchforks. So I would prefer another chapter. But I don't have a choice. Hey, I totally did say stuff about your story! Okay, maybe I didn't...huh. Well, I made references to things IN your story, does that count? I think it should. It totally counts, at least in my crazy world. But I don't care, you know? Do you want me to actually review your story? *smokes pipe and puts on monocle, while shutting Dickens with a SNAP* My, this was a clever and unique perspective on an amusing and fantastic television program, letting the reader and reviewer put themselves into the story and show even though they did not originally write it. They are able to imagine themselves in that diner, with that coffee, although their name is not Guinevere, or anything close to it, and not to mention the fact that they do not live anywhere near Stars Hollow. They can also praise the author endlessly and tell her how wonderful her story is. Or they could forget and ramble endlessly about a plethora of subjects, ranging from William Shatner to the names of their light fixtures' lightbulbs. And yet, the author still has a high level of tolerance for these types of things. *monocle falls out of eye* Crap. (Or some other worse thing...) Did you know that my Geography teacher says crudmolio? I find it weird. He'll be passing out paper and then he'll go "CRUDMOLIO!". He has this tendancy to yell certain words. Like he'll be talking about his kids and say "My daughters are NINE and SEVEN and my SON is two years OLD. We're having a BIRTHDAY party for Gannon this weekend and WE were thinking about a Sesame Street THEME even though he's SCARED of the Cookie Monster and Count VON Count" blah blah blah. He didn't actually say that. He has two daughters those ages and a son named Gannon but I don't know how old he is and I don't think he's scared of the Cookie Monster or Count Von Count. We were at the bowling alley (why is it called a bowling alley? You're bowling, granted, but you're not in an alley. You bowl down a little wooden path so I guess it's like an alley, but it's completely open and people are next to you. It's bothering me) and my sister was like "HEY! What's that Count's name from Sesame Street?" (She's turning 21 in December. Yes, we were talking about Sesame Street.) So we were wracking (racking?) our brains for his name and we couldn't figure it out. So we asked these people next to us who had kids about six or seven. They didn't know either. I explained so well: "You know, the count vampire dude who has a Number Of The Day and hits the pipe organ and when it gets to the Number Of The Day balloons fall down and you have pretty little pipe organ people pop out". Needless to say, they didn't get it. So then my sister's friend connects to the Internet on her cell phone and Googles it. Meanwhile, my sister's coming up with names. Her favorite is Count De Numbers. And we laughed long and hard. So we figure out that his name is Count Von Count. How stupid was that? Count De Numbers is much better. There's no denying it. So we were bummed (I hate that word) for the rest of the day because of the Count's name. Now he's just the Count in my heart. Yes, it hits me right there...*sob* Tiffy tiff! Yes, I bloody well know I ramble! I want some sodding credit! Sorry, random British rant. I could be British. *stuffs steak-and-kidney pie in her mouth and washes it down with alcohol* You know what, maybe not. And to you British people, ha! I'm not saying you're ALL like that. Hey, I had to apologize to all the Mexicans in Spanish class. I made this little pipe cleaner friend (we all had to. I'm not that pathetic) and dressed her in prison garb (I like that word) complete with a little felt cannonball on her striped-up leg. Her story was going to be she was an illegal alien named Guadalajara who was running from the INS. I made her hair seem like she was running. But Mom was all "that's cruel. You can't say that...it seems like all the Mexican people are running from the Feds and that's not right" and all, so I made her an Olympic track runner who got the shotput stuck on her foot during the hundred meter dash. Or the hammer. Which one's which? I don't know. Oh, dear, I'm rambling again. Do forgive me, darling...and for the random creepy pet names, I say that to everyone. So do all my friends. We'll say "thank you, dear" and get creepy and say "Oh, isn't he just PRECIOUS" about some guy with hair in his eyes and the waist of his pants down at his knees. Isn't is annoying how guys do that? I walked like that for a day to see if it was any good and it's so uncomfortable! I mean, seriously! You have to make sure your pants fall down! And if you use a belt you wrap it around your thighs. It just doesn't make any sense. Ack, I need to stop talking. I tend to do that a lot. Tend! I love that word! We used to have hedges (see, I'm back to the story now) but Mom cut them down to make room for a flowerbed that is currently dead and probably will stay dead forever. But we have hedge clippers. Ooh, there's a woodpecker pecking out our house. Nothing kills it. It's made these huge holes that we can't reach without a bigger ladder. I went crazy Friday and decided to go throw something at it and all that was at hand when I ran out the door was that thinger where you stick your sucker in it (dirty) and it turns it around (dirtier). So I chucked it at it and missed by an inch so I hunted it down and kept throwing stuff at it while it was up in the tree. So I think it's still coming back (my dad chased it away a while ago when he was in his painkiller-induced haze, and he came out in his pajamas wielding a bat net and trying to catch it but was randomly banging the house. He looked drunk, and the other day we came home from school on the bus and he's standing outside in just his old shorts...I mean EW! Anyways) and we have to get the house resided. I'm not going out for Halloween this year. Last year my sister and I were Kerry and Bush and we debated. But if people were Rebublican they'd be all "oh, let's let Bush pick the candy first". We made fun of both of them and it was all in good nature but people just don't get fun things like poking fun at the political system. I was Bush 'cause I'm shorter. I got to dress like a cowboy and talk with a Texas drawl. It was kind of fun. But we're not going this year, we're sitting at home and watching probably football if Dad's got the TV and Mom's handing out candy while we eat all the extras. It's gonna be great. Grade A Halloween fun.

Great story.

You knew I wouldn't forget! Right?

Right?
JP chapter 3 . 10/16/2005
Loved it! You write Lorelai so well. I bet you ramble in real life or something. But yeah that was awesome! you are a great writer. Now just tell the GG writers to end the feud between R and L. Haha. Anyway good job!
lukelaiandroryndean chapter 3 . 10/16/2005
Ok, so, I have decided to review as I read. Because, it sounds fun. Although, I did not come up with the idea till I was done reading your author's note. So, I am going to have to review regularly until I get to the story, then it begins. Wait, what begins? You know what I mean, don't you? I mean that I will begin the reviewing as I go along when the story actually begins. You know, I don't even know what I am talking about, I am just rambling on and on about nothing in particular. And, you are the only person I can do it to because whenever I do it to my friends, they are all like 'oh my god, there she goes again, she is from mars' ok, that was a little weird, but you know, that's what they do. They don't appreciate me and my weird rants. Damn them. I need new friends. Oh, AND on the WB message boards, I went on a long rant, and the Elite of the board, AND YES, those damn bitches call themself the Elite, when I ranted, they ROLLED THEIR EYES AT ME. And, yes, they actually did, because there is an eye rolling SMILEY. I think I need to damn them too.

And, as I was reading your AN, my dad asked me to go get him a POP, from downstairs. And, yes, I am using pop to amuse you. So, I trudge myself ALL THE WAY downstairs, and I get in the fridge, and grab one. And, then, I think to myself 'I haven't had one of these forever'. But, I know why I haven't. Because, I don't know if you remember, but I went on the pop strike, and I didn't drink pop in like forever, so my body got used to drinking no pop, so, whenever I drink pop, I break out in like 10 zits, no exageration. I took one little sip of my sister's pepsi, and I got like 5 zits the next day. Arr.

I loved the firework rant. Old people yell seven is too late. It is too early, damnit. It isn't even dark, so you wouldn't even see the fireworks. Frivolous.. That was one of my vocab words. I squeal in delight whenever I see a word from my vocab book. Oh, and I am reading some Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea, or whatever it is called, and I saw TWO vocab words in the SAME sentence. For some reason, I just started cracking up histerically. I do that a lot.

I am VERY excited for the Season 5 DVD. I have been very excited for a year now when I found out that season 5 was coming out this December. I bet you just found at. Now, I am going to laugh and point at the poor communication skills of those in LA. [Lassie starts pointing and laughing]

But, the bad thing is is that I am broke. So, I can't buy it. That's why I have to rely on 'ol saint nick. ;).

Oh my god, I so want to be pOnDeReSqUe right now. I want to be Luke so bad. The thing is is that no one would know what the hell I was dressing up as. And, when they would find out they would go 'oh look at that obsessed gilmore girls fan girl, what a dork' and then they would laugh and point and go back to watching their stupid Laguna Beach. Damn them.

Okay, so, at the moment you are at the Grand Canyon? Because it is Sunday. Ugh, 5 DAYS! So, I won't get to talk to Banana for FIVE DAYS! Ugh. Stop complaining, it would take me like fifty-million hours to get to the Grand Canyon from here, so I would stop whining. I loved the plane rant. LOVED it. I hate it that people are still scared of planes getting bombed. We have a frickin security system that makes you strip your clothes and check your bags and everything. How anyone could still get through is beyond my thinking power. "I know what happened to your girlfriend!" I love it. I love Supernatural. Maybe that was mean't to mock, but, I personally loved that episode. Jenson and Jared are hott. I think you have to agree on that one.

When you said the words . .laughing hysterically, I started cracking up. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. I could actually picture that mental image in my head.

Oh my god. I LOVED the straight line thing. That is SO going as an away message. I was laughing even harder at this one that the earthwuake curling. I almost fell off my chair. I was laughing THAT hard.

Wow, I actually damned you five times? I am sorry. This time, I don't think I damned you yet, well maybe I did, but, I don't know. I know I damned other people in my review so far, but, as long as it's not you, it's fine, right?

Oh my! YOU DO NOT HAVE THE LINES! Ugh. I ALWAYS thought you had the lines. Damn ME. What was I thinking? Did it ever have the lines? It always had the lines, I know it did.

I need to diss the 7th graders. They are so stupid. At least when I was a 7th grader, I knew what a common and proper noun was. My god, they should all go back to 1st grade, but, wait, 1st graders are smarter than that bunch. My mistake.

Damn you. Yes, I said it. You hurt my sister's leg. But, you didn't do it good enough, because, it isn't twisted or broken or anything, she is fine. She is just an over-reacted baby. Oh well.

Okay now time for the story.. I am actually reviewing as I go, yay, so, buckle your seatbelt, here we go.

"Wow" said Lorelai. Is she checking her out or something? It seems like it. I always thought Lorelai was straight. You lucky girl, Lorelai has a crush on you. Wow. They all say wow. Is Rory turning lesbian on us too? Oh my geez. She says it AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. My god. She has gots the hotts for you. "Her" makes it even more dirty. And, OH MY. Your her daughter. That makes it even MORE creepy. My geez.

Oh my. That googling thing made no sense to me. I will never know what you are talking about. You have to explain this all to me when you get back from your damn trip to the Grand Canyon.

Oh my geez. The nice men in the pretty white jackets are on speed dial on Rory's cell phone? Oh yeah, she probably has to call every 2 seconds with Paris in her life. My geez, now I get it.

What the hell is a tiff, Hanna? Is it some of that LA talk talking? It's probably some obvious word that I don't know of because I am stupid. That's probably it.

Oh. A British phrase? I never knew that. Probably because I am not British. That's probably it. I am using the word 'probably' too much.. ddirrty.

Audacious was a vocabulary word too. Fun.

IRRITATING! Lorelai finds thing irritating too, like us. That's so AMUSING. Wow, I amuse myself.

Bomb was used too much in 3 lines. That't not a good thing either. I like to call it dirty. Well, you may think dirty is a good thing, so... yes, I know, DIRTY.

Oh my geez. And they just keep saying bomb. What is your obsession with bomb and wow? I don't get you. Wow, and NOW, there is an explosion. Oh geez. Here we go again. And, now, shrapnel.

OH MY GEEZ. The bomb saying came back! My god Banana. Wow, I am loving the Kirk spaz. FLUNG HIMSELF THROUGH THE DOOR. I could see that now. I am tilting my head and picturing it in my mind. Wow, that makes me giggle.

Ew. The British talk made my head spin. Literally. My head started spinning in circles. It was quite disturbing.

Buns on the man rant. Loved it. I laughed. Wahoo.

No-no's is a funny word. Don't you agree? You put that in there to make me laugh, how thoughtful.

I love that song. It's from the best movie in the world. Love it.

Ew. I am getting mental images of Lorelai biting of fingernails. You've scared me for life. Damn you.

Oh my geez. Lorelai has gone physcho.. I didn't think you could have that much effect on her.. My god..

What the hell was Lorelai thinking? Of course Luke is going to be in his apartment.. My geez.

Hmm.. Isn't it usually Luke the nervious trembly one, and Lorelai the perky one? It;s like its opposite and they traded places. Don't listen to me, I am babbling on about nothing, explaining things that shouldn't even be said, because I can not think right now. So, if I write anything that doesn't make sense, excuse me for it.

HEDGE CLIPPERS! When I read that she asked him that, I am like "THIS IS HOW THEY ARE GOING TO FIND THEIR LOVE!" I hope I am right.

"I am sure you can clip other things" wow, that was so dirty, I mean, BEYOND dirtty. But, hey, what am I saying? I think everything is dirty.

Oh I loved it! The baby's name is going to be Guinevere! I love how you ended it, it was amazing. One of your best yet.

Oh, but see, a dirty has to be intended in the whole experimental thing. I have to point out the dirty's to you, child.

Ok, I am ending it right here. Sorry for the shortness of the review, I lost my mind when my head started spinning. Tell me if you find it in the Grand Canyons, or those busy streets of LA.

Ciao,

Lassie
ProFfeSseR chapter 3 . 10/16/2005
With all the rambling it must have taken her at least half an hour before she asked him out and it’s not even very clear it’s a date yet, but they are going together and I’m sure that it will turn into a real date fast enough. Brilliant, love all the rambling which is of course very realistic. I don’t always follow all your rants since you’re about the only person who can write every chapter of every story in complete rambles, but than again, that’s hilarious and a huge talent. Well done and can’t wait to read more!
jas chapter 3 . 10/15/2005
v amusing :P
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