|Reviews for Crossing The Line|
| bridmatt chapter 11 . 6/8/2013
Aw, why are all the good stories never finished?
This has a few annoying cliches in it (the ridiculous over-protectiveness that everyone has for Naruto, Sasuke's emo family life, an obnoxious, all-knowing, god-like Itachi, and ESPECIALLY the stuff at the gay bar), but apart from that, the rest of the story is lively and moves quickly enough with minimal introspection (thank god!) that the fic never gets boring.
Naruto is a sympathetic character. I like the fact that he'd been hiding his crush for a couple years but wasn't totally EMO over it the way you usually see in unrequited love situations. The progression of his relationship with Sasuke and the way Gaara and Shikaru, etc. found out about his feelings were all done fairly organically.
Sasuke is also a sympathetic character in that he has his reservations about being with Naruto, but the fic keeps him from ever acting in a frustrating manner over it. Little by little, he keeps letting Naruto further and further in, so that's good character development. Though I don't quite understand why he keeps himself so distant from other people. That wasn't adequately explained in the fic. Is it his family life? In what way does that make him not want friends? For him to be so fearful and have these massive commitment issues, there's got to be SOME reason behind it. His family is messed up, but not messed up in a way that would make him scared of FRIENDSHIP. Messed up in a way that might make him scared of sex, I would say. I think walking in on his brother and mother making out with/having sex with strangers would be mentally scarring and would make Sasuke scared that he might end up with an out-of-control libido like theirs, but he's not. He didn't even react when one of the bullies started comparing him to Itachi and calling him a slut, which SHOULD have really bothered him.
I guess I can see why you might have quit this fic as there were quite a few different ways this story could have gone from here and it maght have been hard to pick. You could have quite easily kept going in a cute, fluffy manner as you had been (though calling this chapter "the beginning of the end" was worrisome). However, if you wanted it to be serious, escalating things with Kiba would have been a good way to go. (Something I didn't get: why was he so homophobic about Sasuke, but not about Naruto? Does Kiba have some gay feelings for Sasuke or Naruto? He's over-protective of Naruto, but seems to fixate on Sasuke and was OK with him until he started going out with Naruto, so I could see it either way. He could have beaten on Sasuke for "taking" Naruto, or he could have beaten on Sasuke because he didn't want to face his feelings for him.) Or there could have been drama over/because of all the creepy stuff at the bar. Maybe Haku or someone else at the bar isn't happy about Sasuke getting a boyfriend? And surely Naruto ISN'T fine with Sasuke continuing to have such a job? (I was shocked that Naruto was upset about not being Sasuke's first kiss but didn't have a bigger reaction to the stuff Sasuke says he does at the bar!)
In a way, the fic is sort of complete as-is since the point of the fic is that Sasuke was scared to "cross the line" with Naruto. Well, in chapter 11, he did, so the story should be done, right? I think if you'd wanted to continue the fic past this point, building in another conflict earlier in the fic would have been a good idea. Besides convincing Sasuke to let go of his hangups, there's got to be some kind of personal problem that Naruto or Sasuke (or both) need to overcome that getting together would help them with. Like maybe Naruto could have helped Sasuke with his family life and Sasuke could have helped Naruto with whatever was troubling him in return. (We never found out much about Naruto in this fic, like why he was an orphan, or what drew him to Sasuke besides his vague conversation with Gaara.)
Ah well. I hope you're doing well now, where ever life has taken you, and I thank you for having written and shared even this much of the story with us. :)
| FujoshiFangirl chapter 11 . 9/10/2010
| MoshiMoshiQueen chapter 3 . 8/3/2010
I can see Itachi in the father figure role quite well. Love this chappie.
| MoshiMoshiQueen chapter 2 . 8/3/2010
| MoshiMoshiQueen chapter 1 . 8/3/2010
Can't believe I haven't read this yet.
| A Fan chapter 1 . 1/30/2010
OMG. I remember doing significant figures back in October in chem. First off, great job incorporating actual knowledge into your fic. Second, POOR NARUTO! THAT STUFF I HAARD! (
| CarolzofBellz chapter 11 . 8/22/2009
I think that this story is by far, my favorite NaruSasu fic. I like how you're being pretty realistic with this. I hope you will update this fic~
Woot~ NaruSasu ftw! 3
| Alice Ryter chapter 2 . 8/11/2009
Your writing style is fantastic! I love the way it's narrated, and the sense of humor really adds to the story. It reminds me of a series i read... Have you read House of Night?
It's a little like yours... 'cept yours is SasuNaru so it's way better. XD
| DreamingAwaken chapter 11 . 9/13/2008
I love the way You show the dynamics in relationships. looking forward for the next part)
| anonyminty chapter 11 . 4/2/2008
This is so cute! I love how it goes through all the emotions in a relationship- love, betrayal, sympathy... You have done a very nice job with this story. Naruto always seems so innocent, it would be nice to seem him attack Kiba or something. Haha, this is such a good story, I hate that you haven't updated! -hugs you-
| Mesa-Mesa chapter 5 . 1/8/2008
Haha. This chapter is great! I just loved it.
I was beginning to think no one know about macking. No one at my school has a clue what I mean when I say it. lol
| Mack chapter 9 . 1/6/2008
Man! Me too! You sure are a genius. I wanted Naruto to walk in to but then I couldn't find any reason he'd be at the bar, especially if he was supposed to be stayin' at Choji and Shikamaru's house. Wow. Apparently you and I think alike. In this story. I didn't know what to think about that newest completed one. I LIKED IT! I just don't think I was thinking too much when I read it, i was just too anxious to find out what happens next. In fact, I'm not really sure why I'm bothering with reviewing here because I really want to catch up in the story, so I shall do just that.
| Mack chapter 6 . 1/6/2008
HA! 'Murphey's Law'! I love it! Anything that can go wrong will. Indeed. I am really enjoying this story! *smiles brightly*
| Mack chapter 3 . 1/6/2008
I absolutely agree with you. It's pointless for someone to review a story just because there is a pairing someone doesn't like, especially since all major pairings (and even some of minor pairings) are usually displayed in the summaries.
I'm fairly open-minded (I mean, hello? I'm reading yaoi. Anybody's gotta have at least a little bit of open-mindedness to like it... and I LOVE it!) and I'm from California. I personally love SasuNaru. I know it's kinda... unoriginal, but I still absolutely love it. I'm not going to stop readin' it just 'cause it's gotten a little common. So let all those who squish our own personal views be squished right back.
| ShowTime chapter 11 . 1/6/2008
You know you really should start working on the fic again, now that you're finished with Surface Flaws and all.
Or not... just a suggestion.