|Reviews for Paradox|
| James Birdsong chapter 1 . 1/11
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/12/2014
Doesn't make sense you say "Ranma hasn't figured it out yet" but just before Akane says that Ranma shouted "You aren't even related to me!" so I would say Ranma has figured it out
Ryoga is amazed at how dense Ranma is but how is it being dense if you can't understand that
The Guy who has been trying to kill you is your Father &
The Woman who has been trying to marry you is your Mother?
| The Keeper of Worlds chapter 1 . 9/11/2014
OMG, I can honestly see that as a possible truth!
| maryjane5000 chapter 1 . 5/16/2014
Should expand this into full fic & since Ranma is Ryoa's son shouldn't he also have the directional curse?
| Compucles chapter 1 . 3/13/2013
Wow, this is an interesting concept. It doesn't explain why Ranma didn't inherit the directional curse, though.
| Rose1948 chapter 1 . 3/11/2012
Nicely done! Talk about wheels within wheels! ::laughs:: What a development!
| lefkaz chapter 1 . 10/5/2010
Really good idea. I don't see it coming even wen you named the kids.
But i am sorry to say this: Your development sucks. Sorry, but it is true.
I'm adding this story to alert and favs, so i know if you even change it.
I think you could make it a mutiple - but - short (like 3 or so) chapter serie.
By the way:
MARK THE SCENE CHANGES! how you suppose we know when a time skip is taken place? its confusing and ruin the mood...
I read your other jobs. I KNOW you dont suck, but no one wins it all, isn't?
| EmeraldGlee chapter 1 . 7/25/2010
This is one twisted oneshot. With the plot, it could be a very good chaptered-fic. The only thing that bites with this fic was the fact that there was no separation of scenes. One moment they're there and the next there here. It would do well for you to put a scene change sign or something.
| Majin Hentai X chapter 1 . 10/10/2009
Messed up yet very interesting.
| Ganheim chapter 1 . 6/30/2009
"Bring back my mirror
[Repeated sentence – maybe a copypaste error?]
[Unnecessary Japanese (not the suffix, that’s used properly and is relatively unobtrusive)]
"Look it Jenny McCarthy!"
[I had to look up that person, and after I did wouldn’t a Japanese model have been more appropriate for the Neriman scene than an American?]
"Now Violent-Girl only have to beat Rose-girl!"
[I don’t get it. Who’s ‘Rose-girl’]
form and even a quarter
[Extraneous break. I’m also confused: is this implying that Ukyo doesn’t know Ryouga is ‘p-chan’, or that she does and is wondering why he hasn’t gone in after the mirror?]
"Spatula-girl no how
on a orange
Ukyou shouted. "I changed into a FOX! And the bad part is...THAT SOUNDS LIKE A COMPLIMENT!"
[Missing closing quotes]
as he travelled
"I gotta work on this myself,
[She _did_ a lot of self-training, and Ryouga knows that]
"Masaka," Ukyou sighed.
Wow, it only took you a week
[Didn’t it take Ryouga that long? Or was it just 4-5 days?]
Though with the baksai tenketsu such was unlikely to be much of a threat to her.
[They may be resistant to fists and rock from their own blasts, I don’t think that it would stop a bullet]
"KONTON SUTERU!" Ukyou shouted, sending a chaotic swirl of orange chi into the hill side. She turned and smirked at Ryouga. "Did it."
"Yep, Chaos Rejection," Ryouga nodded. "I knew you were a control freak."
[Interrogative missing its question mark]
"Can you control your hormones?" Ukyou asked. Ryouga wanted to ask if she could, but decided he didn't want to die.
Have any problems."
[I think that this is a question, but there’s no mark]
been making something of killing,"
[I’m pretty sure that’s missing a word]
make a living
I'm going to rip your baksai tenketsu-ed throat out!"
"Don't worry," the nurse said. "They all say that."
look at the
[Extraneous break, and if Ukyo was splashed wouldn’t that have…wiped out the fetus?]
~And that is the last time I use those techniques, the Umisen and Yamasen are sealed.~
[Strangely, that makes a lot of sense for the techniques and their being locked away]
a dead maybe for
[Interrogative missing its question mark]
Ukyou said. "Our Ranma, is Ranma!"
[I can imagine her turning green now that she realizes she was inadvertently pursuing her future son]
some jackass stole
family I mean.
"Your not even
all that time and you were trying to marry your own..." All three of them turned green. "Never mind.
[I don’t know if that’s funny or sick]
and Kuonji Akane
will molify your
That had a number of funny lines. I want to ask…what’s with Ukyo declaring that Ranma can’t marry Shampoo? I know what happened was sneaky and unscrupulous, but it’s been over 20 years and she said herself that she’d adjusted and even come to accept what happened. Besides the fact that what exactly happened was very unclear, the narrative stuck with Ukyo and Ryouga and you never really tell us clearly about Shampoo disappearing and leaving the two behind. I just don’t see what point there would be to even stop by the nekohanten – it’s not like condemning Shampoo can change anything, and I don’t see how she’d feel ingratiated or satisfied in any sense. It ends up that I wonder why she’d bother.
| Kinhoshi89 chapter 1 . 10/29/2008
Heh, nice story.
| Drashin chapter 1 . 11/6/2007
like the plot
| ash the digi 10 chapter 1 . 8/16/2007
odd but good
| Aaron chapter 1 . 4/6/2007
never saw that comming.
| Athla chapter 1 . 3/3/2007