|Reviews for My Sweet Revenge|
| BlackxValentine chapter 1 . 3/21/2010
Interesting beginning. I found it funny how he said 2:30 was an ungodly hour cause I'm listening to 'Ungodly hour' by the fray while reading. lol
Now, I must read more!
| alishacauns-in-pink26 chapter 12 . 4/1/2009
wow this iz an awesum story write more soon this is absolutely
u really capture all the character's raits- especially Nigel's!
please write more soon
u r doin great[[
| Gahbriel Delacroix chapter 12 . 1/13/2009
I really like the story. The only problem I have with it are mild spelling errors and wrongs uses of words (I.E. Positions instead of possessions, etc).
Other than that, the story is great! I'm interested to see what more you do with it, and I can't wait to see what made Nigel flip out!
Keep going, you are doing a great job _
| Mireille713 chapter 12 . 5/4/2008
I happen to be very fond of critiqueing peoples work, i hope you dont mind.
This isn't bad, but you seem to be haveing some trouble capturing nigel's character. And the others too, for that matter.
I would try to more thoroughly understand these characters before writing about them.
I've notived that you've even directly quoted their responces some times, which is okay, but a little blatent.(eg: "your lady fair")
You are also attempting, quite a bit too hard, to make this litereary, and while that isn't bad either, we(as CJ fans) are used to encountering these people in a script like setting, therefore, I would chuck a lot of the fancy little litterary devices you've used(which would make o lot of other peices a lot better, just not this one, (eg "shaking like a leaf," chapter 1.)
another thing: you are allowed to use a characters name. while calling nigel 'the britt' every once in a while is okay, I would leave it at thet. cut all of the "the brittish man" or "the goth" or anything like that and replace with his name. it would make the prose flow alot better.
The dialogue is good. I only noticed a few awkward bits. try to read the dialogue out loud and cut anything that someone wouldn't actually say in conversation, or anything that you may stumble over when reading aloud.
this is really very good, only in need of a bit of editing.
| Cheelalaucha chapter 12 . 2/25/2008
Yay! I love havin' the big guy back! :-D
| Alex chapter 12 . 2/10/2008
You updated! yay! (does happy dance) this is one of my top ten fav stories and i check for updates weekly so you can imagine how happy i was to check today and find another awesome chapter!
hope you update soon!
| nattylovesjordy chapter 12 . 2/10/2008
| Spacemonkee chapter 12 . 2/10/2008
I had to go back and read before I could remember what was going on but it is still a good story.
| shinyblueportal chapter 11 . 7/8/2007
Wow, life sucks for Nigle right now.
| kelpietree chapter 11 . 4/24/2007
hmm. more please, and longer chapters!
| kelpietree chapter 10 . 3/27/2007
Ok LJ the closet nerd.
update soon cause you got me in it too.
| abstractwhisk chapter 10 . 3/26/2007
Oh. My. Gosh. This is such a great story, and I'm so glad you're back updating it and everything. Please keep it up, you're doing fantastically!
| Wayward-Green chapter 10 . 3/25/2007
I'm going to be very very honest with ya:
When I first started reading this story I was a bit pained. Just as you have a hard time with grammar I have a hard time reading past dodgy grammar. It's very vain and I'm sorry. But, the subject matter of you story (being a character I'm really interested in and a plot which immediately grabbed me) kept me reading. Let it certainly be said that when it comes down to it, if you have a good idea no matter the limitations of grammar and spelling it will show through it all.
I, obviously, continued to read your story and was so taken aback with the improvement of everything that had, before, niggled me that I became even more magnetized to all of it. At first the characters seemed a little sketchy (I couldn't get in my mind Garret calling Jordan "Jo") but you've got Nigel down pat. I can hear that character's voice when he speaks. That impresses me. (Not that you need to be impressed by me.)
There was a bit of a "wha?" moment when you did that time jump from Nigel just waking up to him being discharged. Perhaps next time that happens you could put a "and five days after he woke up from being near-comatose he's discharged." Though, knowing American hospitals I wouldn't be surprised if he was discharged ridiculously quick.
At any rate, this story is rocking my socks. Somehow I sincerely doubt Nigel's going to be offed that quickly-but how he'll be saved intrigues me. I am relieved to know that you're still writing this story and can't wait to read more of it.
I hope you don't mind the constructive criticism.
It seems to me you're best at writing the Lily, Bug, and Nigel characters which is fine with me because they just happen to be my favorite. Keep on writing and improving. I'll be reading.
| Mac3 chapter 10 . 3/23/2007
Okay, you've got this gal's attention, don't hurt Nigel too badly please? Please update soon.
| Crime Scene Girl chapter 9 . 2/27/2007
IT's excellent. Hurry up and write more.