Reviews for Traditional Pitiful: Before the Beginning
Ribke D'Crazy chapter 1 . 10/15/2011
Uy, good thing they just used longer whips instead of sending him to the "squish" thingy... O_o
Patchworkcrows chapter 1 . 3/29/2009
Jack: How dark are you?

Me: Wow. Poetic, gorgeous, frightening, a true mystery. I love the dark edge to the story. I think you scared Jack.

Jack: I'll admit I cringed.

Me: I've read scarier descriptions of wounds (one origin was SO gross on Sally becoming a rag doll) but hey it was good!

Jack: If you ever visit Halloween Town you know where to find me.

Me: Oh and I can't?

Jack: You almost killed me with your fangirl pounces REMEMBER?

Me: SO? (bickering grows faint as we walk away from fan fic)
scrawling purple ink chapter 1 . 6/30/2007
Very powerful. It was a new side of Jack right there (I say that a lot, don't I?), an excellent description that leaves you only the vaguest of explanations for why he was a prisoner, and enough mystery to guess. Lovin' it. Seems like the story behind it would have been worth writing out, but an excellent prequel nontheless.
Darth Soror chapter 1 . 11/7/2005
I like this...so would you PLEASE continue? And it's no wonder your pen-name is the LOGICAL ghost!
LittleMissPadfoot chapter 1 . 10/22/2005
oh please continue this its one of the best written stories i've read so far the story of jack skellington would be great from the angle your taking i love the way you've wrote this please continue
dasz chapter 1 . 10/21/2005
good job! i would really like to see this story continued, or a sequel of some sort- your writing is excellent, please continue!
Piers549 chapter 1 . 10/15/2005
Oh. . . yay! cool fic! keep going!. . . plz?
FireFilly chapter 1 . 10/14/2005
Really nice! Especially that last part-very exciting-sounding. Lots of descriptive language too-the descriptions of the wounds almost made me wince. -; Maybe you should reconsider continuing this fic!
The Fifth Champion chapter 1 . 10/13/2005
I am not worthy!

I bow down low to the floor for you, great author, for this is truly the work of a genius.

*sobs* This is so utterly beautiful! The haunting feel of it, the chilling repetition of "traditonal," the wonderous description...(I have an unhealthy obbession with description, lol.)

I've been sifting through NBC fanfictions for a couple of weeks now, and this is definitely the best work I've read. I've been waiting for a fic like this-I'm truly in awe.

I love the way you begin with "traditional pitiful" as the opening line. It links us directly to the title and gives chills.

Your description of the dreary prison cell was so acute I could see it clearly within my own mind, every stone in the wall, the dirty chains, the wooden door... And it was beautifully eerie the way you added "tradionally" continuously. I particulary enjoyed this piece "...with the traditional darkness lit only by a single touch, spluttering traditionally." Spluttering is such a beautiful word, no? lol.

Jack's injuries make me shudder. I praise you greatly for describing them clear enough for me to actually see and feel. Poor Jack!

Oh, which reminds me...I like how you never actually knew his name. It makes the story more haunting, vivid, and hazy-like a foggy dream. Or rather, a nightmare.

I love how you described the laugh: "high and tinkling." Beautiful. "Ghost of a dream" is also very poetic and chilling. I truly adore it! I've used ghost of a smile, but never ghost of a dream!

"He loved those bugs, more than anything." Something about this line struck me cold and hard. Maybe it really reminded me that this dying prisoner was Jack-with his love for creepy things. Also, it sort of gave me that feel that I had entered the mind of someone going half-mad. Brilliant work!

Hehehe, the traitor was Oogie Boogie, wasn't it? I'm so excited! Lol, I'm normally a horrible detective, but this I'm sure of! When orginally reading the tratior's description (I loved "greasy hair" and "weasal eyes") I thought it might have simply been an orginal character, but later when you state "He finds his old friend, though they do not know each other", the thing about the bugs just clicked, and I realized who it was. The hints were so quiet, so subtle, it really was ingenious.

The end is my absolute favorite. The definition of "now," and how it changes when you have so much time to command, chills me. Aha! And there's that word again-"traditionally." Perfect timing.

When you start explaing how "Now is a place called Halloween," the statements begin to get heavier in meaning, more suspenseful, and a bit harder to understand. I love it-you have to really think deep on the message your words are conveying. My favorite line: "Now is the ghost of the dream of the prisoner, now become one of those who live in the town in the place called Halloween." The repetition of "now" is amazing. I kept picturing this soft, haunting voice whispering the statements to me. It's poetry.

I applaud you with all the strenght my hands can muster (until they grow all red and sore) and thank you profusely for writing such a great fic.

I'd love to know more! If you ever feel up to writing another fic (even another oneshot) that reveals why and how Oogie Boogie betrayed Jack, I'd be highly intrigued, and definitely give long reviews!

Please forgive me if I made some errors in this review-its rather late for me, and the computer screen is actually getting all blurry...lol.

Oh! My user name on this site really is "The Fifth Champion," is just acting irritating and not allowing me to sign in on this computer for some reason.

I haven't posted any NBC stories, but I'm in the process of writing one. If it ever goes anywhere, and I actually decide to post it, I'd be honored if you'd give it a read.

Keep writing!
The Fifth Champion chapter 1 . 10/13/2005
I am not worthy!

I bow down low to the floor for you, great author, for this is truly the work of a genius.

*sobs* This is so utterly beautiful! The haunting feel of it, the chilling repetition of "traditonal," the wonderous description...(I have an unhealthy obbession with description, lol.)

I've been sifting through NBC fanfictions for a couple of weeks now, and this is definitely the best work I've read. I've been waiting for a fic like this-I'm truly in awe.

I love the way you begin with "traditional pitiful" as the opening line. It links us directly to the title and gives chills.

Your description of the dreary prison cell was so acute I could see it clearly within my own mind, every stone in the wall, the dirty chains, the wooden door... And it was beautifully eerie the way you added "tradionally" continuously. I particulary enjoyed this piece "...with the traditional darkness lit only by a single touch, spluttering traditionally." Spluttering is such a beautiful word, no? lol.

Jack's injuries make me shudder. I praise you greatly for describing them clear enough for me to actually see and feel. Poor Jack!

Oh, which reminds me...I like how you never actually knew his name. It makes the story more haunting, vivid, and hazy-like a foggy dream. Or rather, a nightmare.

I love how you described the laugh: "high and tinkling." Beautiful. "Ghost of a dream" is also very poetic and chilling. I truly adore it! I've used ghost of a smile, but never ghost of a dream!

"He loved those bugs, more than anything." Something about this line struck me cold and hard. Maybe it really reminded me that this dying prisoner was Jack-with his love for creepy things. Also, it sort of gave me that feel that I had entered the mind of someone going half-mad. Brilliant work!

Hehehe, the traitor was Oogie Boogie, wasn't it? I'm so excited! Lol, I'm normally a horrible detective, but this I'm sure of! When orginally reading the tratior's description (I loved "greasy hair" and "weasal eyes") I thought it might have simply been an orginal character, but later when you state "He finds his old friend, though they do not know each other", the thing about the bugs just clicked, and I realized who it was. The hints were so quiet, so subtle, it really was ingenious.

The end is my absolute favorite. The definition of "now," and how it changes when you have so much time to command, chills me. Aha! And there's that word again-"traditionally." Perfect timing.

When you start explaing how "Now is a place called Halloween," the statements begin to get heavier in meaning, more suspenseful, and a bit harder to understand. I love it-you have to really think deep on the message your words are conveying. My favorite line: "Now is the ghost of the dream of the prisoner, now become one of those who live in the town in the place called Halloween." The repetition of "now" is amazing. I kept picturing this soft, haunting voice whispering the statements to me. It's poetry.

I applaud you with all the strenght my hands can muster (until they grow all red and sore) and thank you profusely for writing such a great fic.

I'd love to know more! If you ever feel up to writing another fic (even another oneshot) that reveals why and how Oogie Boogie betrayed Jack, I'd be highly intrigued, and definitely give long reviews!

Please forgive me if I made some errors in this review-its rather late for me, and the computer screen is actually getting all blurry...lol.

Oh! My user name on this site really is "The Fifth Champion," is just acting irritating and not allowing me to sign in on this computer for some reason.

I haven't posted any NBC stories, but I'm in the process of writing one. If it ever goes anywhere, and I actually decide to post it, I'd be honored if you'd give it a read.

Keep writing!