Better. Might I suggest proofreading and editing. I do that on all of my (non existant) stories.

Why is each line one line seperate from other lines and itself?

Also, I agree with Forgotten Aquateen. You should try to explain more.

A little confusing, and you could use some detail to describe the monster instead of saying it looks weird for a monser. And the chapters are kind of short.

Some mistakes and the format is all messed up. You might want to see to that. And I finally published my story, check it out!

Alright it was okay. A little straightforward and you could use a little more dialogue. Like, instead of saying, 'Saria told Link to stall Ganon.' You could say '"Link, stall Ganon!" Saria yelled to Link as she ran into the kitchen.

You've got a good plot going on here, but you really need to add in some details. Without details, things move way too fast and the reader has no idea what's going on, and that can quickly turn someone off. But except for that, it's got my interest. keep going!

Um, you might want to read the first chapter again.

Interesting...

Interesting story, but there is a glaring spelling error that you really need to fix in ch. 2.

"Link read on.'I'm giving you testes...'"

I really, really think you should fix that.

Work on the plot, and also your detail- it's kinda hard to understand what's going on, especially in the first chapter.

I'm not sure if you noticed, but my story "The Legend of Zelda: Noon of Darkness" isn't a story about a Zelda card game. It's a Legend of Zelda/Yu-Gi-Oh combo. Just wanted to point that out to you. By the way, neat story. Short beginning, but still good.