|Reviews for Inhuman|
| XX-Samantha-XX chapter 1 . 3/2/2009
that was really dark i mean i'm speechless, it was very well written though :) good job
| Marcus S. Lazarus chapter 4 . 1/14/2009
Now THAT was dark.
It would have been better if you’d spread the paragraphs out a bit more, of course- as it is, your sentences tend to get kind of ‘clumped’ together when they’re being read, making it a bit harder to actually follow what’s going on as easily as I might like-, but that issue aside, the depth of the plot you’ve come up with here is DEFINITELY to be commended.
John’s attempt to cope with the psychological effects of what happened to him are very well-written, while the growing bond between him and Elizabeth as she offers him what support she can to help him through this.
And as for the part where McKay, Teyla and Ford learn what they did to him...
In many ways, I think it was McKay’s reaction that truly reflected how horrified they are at what they did; McKay doesn’t even THINK about freaking out about the fact that he did it with a guy and is solely focusing on the horror of what he did to John.
Admittedly, when this story’s actually meant to take place is a complete mess- Ford’s still around and John’s still a Major, but you mentioned the incident with Colonel Everett as having already taken place-, but given that John had a hard enough time coping with the aftermath as it was, it’s probably for the best that Ronon wasn’t there...
Timeline and writing aside, nice bit of work; keep it up!
| ElaineDex chapter 1 . 7/12/2007
Just found the story. Powerful stuff. Poor John. Reads good, great for your first attempt.
| jasminesmommy chapter 1 . 6/26/2007
i enjoyed reading this story for the emotional aspect as well as the wump thanks :) and i think you need a follow up sequel to this story for john and elizabeth :)
| HeavenlyKitten chapter 4 . 3/14/2006
That was a very touching story. You did a great job.
| Faith-chan chapter 4 . 1/29/2006
Very good story. Before I say anythin else, I say bravo.
First off, do you have a Beta? If not, might be good to find one, because there are a lot of silly grammatical errors and typos that spell check would miss that another person wouldn't. Not so many that they detract from the story, but enough that I'll say that much about em.
Secondly, some of the dialogue, esp. towards the end, seems forced. The big appologies scene was the biggest culprit, in my mind. It wasn't BAD, but it could have been much better. Again, a Beta can help loads with stuff like that.
Thirdly, and most nit-picky...fer the first sexual assault; if Sheppard had lost that much blood and was that scared and in that much pain, I dun think there's a humanly possible way he coulda gotten it up. The male organ is a fickle creature. (I've met enough, I know...) Of course, this goes under the heading of "willing suspension of disbelief," an essential part of ALL fiction, esp. sci-fi.
Lastly, a lot of the medical schtuff, and some of John's reactions, stuck in my craw. As traumatic as the attack was, Sheppard is a trained military professional. I'm not saying he wouldn't be messed up; he's human, after all. But, I think he was a bit TOO traumatized. And Carson wouldn't force an exam on him if he was unwilling, esp. knowing what had happened. He'd at least wait until he calmed down...and John, being professional, would allow the exam.
Having said all that, please dun think I'm trying to be harsh or tear you down. I like your story, it really was quite good, and I think you've got a lot of potential and a lot of talent. I'm a total fan of angsty whumpage type schtuff... but I find that the more realistic it is, the more...satisfying? it is. We, as Authors, have the power over the characters, but the characters themselves should have the ultimate power over us.
(Then again, I read as much slash as any other fangirl, which is about as OOC as many of these guys can get...)
Ok, WAY too much talking on my part. Seriously, very good story, good plot devices, reasonable explanations for most things, and most importantly, enjoyable to read.
| Sheppy chapter 4 . 1/7/2006
I quite liked your story, very entertaining *smirk*..
I'd also really like a sequel... But my suggestion is not a sequel as to what happened during the 7 months, but more like a follow-up to your story.
Have Elizabeth get pregnant (they didn't use any protection, either) and include some good old whump for Shep (because we can't live without)..
| Jack-rocks chapter 4 . 1/7/2006
OMG! I LOVED IT! I swear this one of the best story I read so far, both for the emotions I felt when John was forced to face his teammates and for the lovely way you managed to describe John and Elisabeth's feelings.
And I have to bow at your courage, because you are the only one so far who were so brave to write about a 'sexual' story between John and Elisabeth. You did an EXCELLENT work and it was wonderfully written. ;)
PLEASE, PLEASE KEEP WRITING!
Whatever story you write, I'll be there to read it!
I already added this story and your name in my favorites, so I really can't wait to read more of yours!
AWESOME work, don't stop now! :)
| Jenn R chapter 4 . 1/5/2006
I think you can do sequel of this story alon with John and his team 's recovry and His Relatships with Dr weir . and Mckay too
without teyla being Pregnant but at first maybe after she discoved 7 weeks find out then she suddenly miscarrage baby due to her wraith dna and some left over of that fuirt that's mixs with Wraith Dna.
| Sheppardster chapter 4 . 1/5/2006
Oh WOW! What a rollercoaster of emotions that was... *wipes brow in relief*.
I REALLY enjoyed this fic - it was very well written.
A sequel - Oh yes please! Admittedly the idea of Teyla being pregnant did give me shudders - John and Elizabeth seem so happy together and I know we all love angst... what the heck.. I'd still read it and like it. I do love the idea of Rodney being very over-protective tho :)
| shepster007 chapter 4 . 1/4/2006
OH! MY! GOD! THAT WAS UNBELIEVABLE! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU'LL COME UP WITH IN YOUR NEXT STORY. IN MY OPINION YOU CAN EITHER MAKE A SEQUAL TO THIS STORY (I THINK TEYLA GETTING PREGNANT FROM WHERE SHE HAD RAPED SHEPPARD WOULD BE VERY INTERESTING, GREAT IDEA! PORE JOHN AND ELIZABETH, THOUGH!), OR YOU COULD START A NEW STORY! EITHER WOULD BE GREAT, JUST DON'T STOP WRITING! YOUR SO GOOD, EVERTHING IS SO WELL WRITTEN! I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I'M RIGHT THERE IN THE STORY. PLEASE... DON'T STOP? I'LL KEEP READING!
| Infinitediversity chapter 3 . 12/13/2005
Just read INHUMAN so far, and its so good. Keep up the good work and I hope that you post the next part soon. Don't keep us hanging like this! Need to know what happens next! lol.
| amadeusphi chapter 1 . 12/7/2005
Wow! I just can't wait till part 4. beginning of December?
| atlanta chapter 3 . 12/6/2005
Update again soon, please.
| denise42 chapter 3 . 12/6/2005
This is great Story please keep writing i can't wait for the next part and hope your family member is getting better.