|Reviews for Mega Man X: Demons Of The Past|
| Fireminer chapter 13 . 7/15/2013
No word can describe how wonderful this is!
| ArcaneMaverick chapter 21 . 6/3/2012
I found many more contradictions but the only one I'll point out is that you have Gavin throw a frag grenade saying that its not as powerful as Zero's giga attack but has the benefit of a delay timer. However, earlier you have Zero use a time delayed Rak pellet against Dash. And you overuse the dash boots as a critical attack, even in the same chapter.
| ArcaneMaverick chapter 20 . 6/2/2012
This chapter was also much better, but the "what if " story went on a little long and sometimes It was hard to tell when it went back to reality.
| ArcaneMaverick chapter 19 . 6/1/2012
Erico, this chapter was really great. Great exposition and appropriate tension.
| ArcaneMaverick chapter 17 . 5/31/2012
Ok so shorter review here.
I never understood it when heroes listened to a challenge when other options were available. Zero even speaks about ignoring honor for living longer. If Sigma gives coordinates, they should have just launched missiles or fired the Enigma cannon or something.
Since X was in failing armors was able to beat two of the mavericks and those same mavericks with no upgrades are facing the absolute best the MHs have to offer, WHY WERE THEY NOT OVERWHELMED AND DESTROYED? You make even the so called best of the MHs utter fodder for your OC maverick group. Something not right about that. I guess by this logic, X and Zero must be excruciatingly higher than other fighters. But if one was able to beat X and he wasn't even completely designed for combat and simply infected...Ahhh it makes no sense!
If the best units are the 17th, 00, and 21st, and the 4th is less than the 21st, the 4th is not an elite unit. And considering how they were dealt with, they were a group of red shirts.
How old were you when you made this Kaznok character? I still don't know what sort of model he is.
We have never seen X and Zero work together in combat before. Why did you feel the need to mention how awesome it is just for us to know it can be used right then and we haven't seen it before?
Zero should have killed Dolph after getting the info he needed. Dolph is a maverick after all and Zero just got done talking about how honor doesn't always let you win. You are making these character hypocrites.
You really turn Zero into an emo at the end which goes against his canon character. She's a clone, he understands that. He could kill her again, especially since she doesn't remember him. But then you'd have no story, so this part doesn't matter as much.
Seriously though? A shoulder stab wound and he's already going into stasis? That's weak.
| ArcaneMaverick chapter 16 . 5/31/2012
Again with the maverick behavior changes. I wouldn't think they could even know they were a different person beforehand. Having Kavor wonder about why people shout MAVERICK and run was disconcerting. That shouldn't even be a thing that happened. This is another instance where you make your mavericks act not maverick. If he was truly maverick, I imagine, he wouldn't question that and probably just kill them. Thinking about him gives him a capacity I don't think they have. There is nothing special about them from other mavericks in previous fics. They were infected pure and simple. However, I have a hunch because Kavok is one of your OCs that you wanted him to be in a better spotlight and more innocent from the evil he his committing.
This guy is an evil cheating maverick as we see later when Zero trades for X, why do the MHs not treat them with more severity or harsher tactics is beyond me. Kazor even says, repeatable how different and serious they are, yet the MHs never take them that way.
Oh and X isn't going to interupt Zero's drinking for a Maverick threat that only he and X can handle? BIG FUCKING BULLSHIT! That has got to be the shittiest reason for doing ever that I think I have ever read. Zero even shows up later completely fine to go help X. And X doesn't want to interrupt something that shouldn't be happening in the first place? What the hell was that dude? I guess you were setting up for X to lose his armors and have Zero rescue X again. Or maybe it was to show how much Kavok cares about Dash if it wasn't painfully obvious from the beginning.
Alright taking it as it is here's what X knows. This crew of Mavericks is different, more advanced, took down a unit and a GDC base, possess hostages and its just him in his failing armors to stop them.
He should be approaching this in a much more appropriate no-nonsense manner. Maybe even use stealth and not engage in the verbal pleasantries that makes this fic lend itself to animes. It's obvious you like Bastion a lot, so why not have him go with X?
I disagree that X can only accomplish what he does because of his armors. After all, he has to be strong enough to even get the armors and they were always a side quest in the games, never directly important. And with all your talk in story about heart and emotions, especially with the other characters like Bastion, X should be even more prominent in getting stuff done on his own. He is the most human of any reploid; this should be his schtick to preach.
I can't believe after all this time, X still doesn't have any other special weapons other than that darn Narwal Cannon. With ground-penetrating radar that lets him see so much almost like Batman from the Dark Knight, he should have a much better path of approach. Is his goal to rescue the hostages or fight? It's really unclear given how he actually goes about the mission. I figure with his multiple air dashing, he would be fine coming from the top of the tower. Hell, maybe he would think he could throw the other mavericks off for a quick kill if they couldn't fly or glide.
Now I've accepted the armors degrading, that's fine, but you could have worked with them more. For one, I didn't understand why X didn't just use his Force armor. It was never explicitly stated that he was saving it for fighting Sigma or something, but I figured that's what it was.
If X could see them normally? Why did the bull and the turle blow up the door they were guarding?
Since X knows his armors are fading away, it seems logical that he would use them up intentionally. You know, try to go out with a bang. Here we could see some pretty novel way to use the armors that we haven't yet. Also, again, it's X vs 6 and he just walks up the front door? What is that?
He should take them by surprise and blast them to oblivion before they knew what happened thereby using up the 3rd armor.
Or maybe he should have saved the golden armor for when he needed it inside with hostages and started with the 2nd armor and took them out with the G-Crush, overloading the armor and having it explode more than normal.
X is clearly in no hurry because he was willing to wait for his armor to recharge. Maybe the Golden Armor's final moment could have been doing a speedy recharge to use up its remaining power, or transfer it to the 2nd armor. And since X is in no hurry, he has no excuse not to finish off the mavericks and gain some new powers to help in his upcoming fights. I was very disappointed that neither he nor Zero took the extra 15 seconds to charge a blast or shove a sword in a head.
"Dolph, Burst! X is in the building, and probably heading my way. Keep everyone else out!" Who does Kazok want those two to keep out? Didn't they take the tower? Were they expecting someone else besides Zero?
I know it seems tiring to refer to characters using only their names and so authors use other names, in your case, the blue bomber and the crimson hunter, but you really don't need to. It happens too much. LT2000's Naruto Nine-Tailed Serpent fic, while very good, does the same thing. You really don't need the extra names or should at least, only use them for a particularly good description paragraph, not in dialogue.
JK Rowling, doesn't refer to Harry as the lightning scarred kid when she gets tired of Harry.
I never thought the Rakuhouha was a throwable pellet, but that change was fine. However, when thrown it would, in essence, become a point-blank attack, and given it's power, should probably destroy any reploid it hits.
Given the talk about Armor, I'm surprised X hasn't gained another in the last few uprisings either one of your own devising or from X5 or X6.
I notice you use a lot of passive language. A lot of "has done something or was/were 'verb'." Be careful, since that can't be boring to read. Active language is more exciting.
I can't tell what Kazov's character is since it changes so much. He's serious one bit, flirtatious another, joking, arrogant, evil, caring, and illogical ("you're prettier than Zero" that gives her better odds?), it's annoying.
His fight with X is when I became convinced you really wanted your OC to be cool. I understand that maybe you wrote this when you still cared about that sort of thing.
You seem to give him new attacks at each main battle despite all the training they are supposed to have had. I also thought that these mavericks are supposed to be different and learned from mavericks of the past, namely, to not fight one on one battles? Kazov is going up against X in an armor! He doesnt' know they are degrading, I figured he would keep his partner around even when Zero showed up. If they double-teamed X, maybe they could have beaten him by the time Zero showed up and then wouldn't need to trade. Again, he's illogical sometimes, despite supposedly being smart.
Why exactly did the battle ground make X think he could win like he states? What did that matter and in no point in the fight was it an attribute.
How were they evenly matched to begin with? X had armor and years if not a decade of experience. Kazok's been alive for like a few months?
Gotta say that was an awesome ploy by X to blast him and shoot towards where Kaz would bounce.
Ok, gravity manipulation for floating does not equal teleporting into your opponents face for free hits. He's floating, he has no propulsion to move him to a place very quickly like you had him do. And I do not believe two attacks put X at 22% while he's in an armor. Also, although, I believe the G-crush should have been more destructive than usual for using the armor one final time, an alternate nifty use, would have been for X to absorb all that extra energy himself and us it in some other way like a never before seen super shot.
Its physics, that energy didn't just disappear!
Like I said above, Zero's Rakuhouha, should have killed. His giga attack, point blank, and TWO of them hit? Dash should have been annihilated.
You also should hve given an explanation for him carrying a maverick here, because it's not believable from him until slightly later for the trade, but even then its weak. A feeling? pfft.
At exactly what % does a reploid go into stasis? Also, being as advanced as X is, he shouldn't give up and simply override the stasis command. Also, given the Force Armor is specifically for X he should be able to override the lock and call it as well for his dire need. Since X took damage while in his armors, and they disappeared shouldn't X's blue armor be, for the most part unscathed?
Since I went over optional uses of the armors final moments, maybe he could have used what was left of the 1st armor to power a single hadoken? There were many uses I feel were plausible, but instead they went out with a whimper and our heroes were foolish. I am lead to think that this chapter accomplished nothing in that sequence other than making Kamov cool and Zero still awesome.
Same disclaimer at the end like last time. Some things just bugged me, but you should still be proud of the effort involved on writing such a massive series.
| ArcaneMaverick chapter 15 . 5/31/2012
Ok, ok, I read a few chapters ahead and I'm actually on chapter 18, but somethings happened that I don't want to ignore, so I'm going back and reviewing. I'll try, but honestly, this is so old and done with that I know its futile, but holy shit I have come to dislike a lot of what you wrote.
This is tough for me because I'm trying to acknowledge that this is your story and not necessarily going to stick to canon.
I've come to terms that your canon characters are how they are and different to how canon is, or at least, how I think canon is, despite how much irritation it sometimes gives me. Your OCs I'll leave alone, because hey, they're yours. I don't like them nor think they are good characters but whatever. However, I'll say to that statement, that I like your Zephyr team story and characters pretty well!
Now on the current fic. Sometimes man, this is like a bad anime, or worse, a cliched anime.
Some of the ideas I feel you definitely take liberty with from the games. For example, like having Kazok and Dash, love each other or something and Sigma's twisted obsession with Iris. You threw the concept of Maverick out of whack, but I know you use the basis of X4 for that.
I do not believe Mavericks can love nor that Kazok or whatever can do or say half of the things he does going off of canon information alone.
The gripes I have and will mainly talk about pertain to the main themes and characters.
So, Signas. You change his character from the games and that's totally fine! I have no problem with that and even think his intro is alright. However, later on in this chapter after the Wycost and Willow stuff I begin to have more issues. He's supposed to be taking over right? As leader of a pretty huge and organiztion? Then why does he not know about the previous leadership or how he might not be received well or have a plan to overcome that displeasure? The first time we see him in this scene he is confrontational and snide over status reports. Not good for what and who he is supposed to be. I would imagine at least X is level-headed enough to just deal with the cards are dealt and try to help Signas acclimate or give him a pep talk that Wycost ends up saying later.
I know you have him do and say certain things simply to make the reader dislike him and side with the Hunters, however, that is a very poor way to write characters when it isn't believable. Docking pay? Seriously?
He's like a new born reploid baby when he does not understand the respect that X and Zero have.
So when you write this: "Correct. A GDC FORCE. Not a Maverick Hunter Unit." Sirius snapped. He moved his gaze around the room, taking a bit longer to glare at Signas in all his emotionless presence. The movement wasn't lost on the newly appointed Commander of the Maverick Hunters. "My guys may be greens, but they'll stop these guys as good as any. We've got HEART, by God, and in the end, that's all that matters. How much you can do when you're pushed into action, NOT how often you get your stupid status reports in on time." Sirius's message was obvious to any of those that were present in the conference only minutes before.
That's a bunch of BS that no one should have ever let this team go and stop a group of Mavericks that have twice shown up, destroyed whatever and completed the mission they had. They are Green, which means they need training and easy assignments. Sirius says they have heart and that's all they need? How the hell is this guy a commander? Of course you need so much more like tactics and experience. Most of the time, all your battles degenerate into flat out melees instead of with some sort of plan that I think an organization like the MHs would use to save the world.
Now having X and Zero be the ones to put this team out there is dumb, but I know what you're setting up for at the end. Signas should have stepped in and at least tried to assert authority using that CPU of his to analyze the best way for victory, but that's not what happens. Like I said, he's a baby.
The ensuing fight is like a dbz or naruto episode or something similar, what with the ridiculous declarations and such.
Now, I hate the phone call. In case you didn't know, according to all the games, Zero is always calm, cool, and collected. I know he gives off the vibe of a hot head, but it's repeatedly said how much he isn't like that.
The maverick conceit here is awful and I feel the X and Zero handled it wrong. They just let this idiot get their goat.
They should have shook their heads and said something like "Look junior, you just gave away your element of surprise. We've seen your type of arrogance again and again. You feel good because you wiped out some trainees, big deal." They should have then been like: well, since you called us out, now we're going to kill you with no hesitation or mercy. Congrats, you have our full attention.
Then having Signas say a perfectly reasonable thing with the intention to have the reader hate him now was silly. X and Zero fucked up and we're supposed to blame Signas for it? Because it was there mistake and Signas called them out it should be on him to prove that he can do better and belongs here. But the fact that the 7th unit was sent out for stupid reasons under someone else's orders is glossed over to make it seem that the MHs are going to be doubly screwed.
So, mavericks. You change how they are perceived using X4 as a basis. However, you give these guys practically free will and thought to the point where they might not be maverick at all despite HAVING the virus. I don't know how, but I do not believe that mavericks would be philosophical at any time.
So, Sigma. Eh. He's already weird enough thanks to Capcom, but man the obsession you give him about Iris is pushing it. Sigma gets upset at Kavor because he insulted Iris? Are you kidding me? If Sigma had some sort of feeling over certain people/reploids it would have been more evident in past stories/games. This is kinda out of nowhere.
So, reploids. I hate that you have them get drunk somehow because that makes little sense to me. Also, they are supposed to be smart yet they do some really dumb things a lot! This is where I dislike the "anime-ness" of your fic. You base a lot on their "heart" and emotions when I do not feel that is the case.
Reploids are given free will. There is nothing that makes them so darn human. X is the only one that advanced. They are computers as well and should operate on analysis more in their tactics.
Now dude, I don't mean these reviews to insult nor invalidate the massive amount of time and effort you put into this stuff. That alone deserves honoring, but sometimes, the things that happen just bug the crap out of me.
| ArcaneMaverick chapter 4 . 5/27/2012
I think you spent too much time with the OCs and focusing on their "loves". I do not feel a connection with your OCs and find them to be too whiny and emo at times. Bastion in particular. Bristol left for rather annonying reasons, but I understand why. However, if they are in such a "star crossed" love (again I don't feel it) why didn't she just ask him to come along? Or why didn't she ask Cain or X for help and using some Hunter resources to figure it out?
Either way, characters have left their lovers for worse or even unexplained reasons. I do not believe Bastion, a long time leader of reploids, soldier, killer and witness to loss of life and his own men would break down like a bitch so easily over his girlfriend going on a pretty reasonable quest.
I almost stopped reading the story as a whole when i read about Isaia's ghost. I wonder what you were thinking when you thought that was a good idea. I figure you would probably remind me of Zero being in X somehow in your X2 novelization, but that is a very different circumstance than this weirdness and some sort of heaven for all.
No offence, truly, but these are the things I thought while reading.
| ArcaneMaverick chapter 1 . 5/26/2012
I really really liked these opening words and particularly how they apply to our real life. The only part I didn't quite like was the attention to Bastion. I feel he is featured more prominently than any other character and that is too much for a story in the X series.
| Silver Warrior chapter 23 . 2/8/2008
Wow. Just, wow. A wickedly awesome story. Willow was cool, as were the intricate plots sown throughout the story. A culmination of many, many events pulled off spectacularly. Love it.
| jfr07 chapter 23 . 5/3/2007
This is, without a doubt, the best Megaman fanfiction I have ever read, tied with Revokov's "Terrornova"...
You even managed the transition from X4 to X5 without killing
everybody of (except Cain, that poor fella), and I'm glad the Hunters and Signas are now on the same side.
Will we actually hear something of Bastion, Willow, Phare and Co. and their struggles against the nefarious schemes of MI9 in the future?
Because I REALLY doubt those Reploid-haters are giving up after their plan has been foiled.
(and there was that little foreshadowing about Jowers - I doubt we have seen the last of him...)
Or will we see them in another Time-Period entirely?
Perhaps Zero stumbling across Cossack's Citadel during his travels between MMZ1 and MMZ2 and meeting Wycost, Bastion, Hazil, etc. who fill him in about his past?
Please continue writing your awesome fanfics, Erico.
They abso-frackin'-lutely rock !
| Shawn chapter 23 . 7/16/2005
This was really good. I hope to read more of your stories of X and company in the future.
| ChibiBecca chapter 23 . 3/2/2005
this has to've been one of the longest fics i've come across! it's literally taken me days to read this and the ones before it, and i'm no slow reader either.
"It is extremely helpful to use this opportunity to comment on an aspect of the story that can be improved." improved my right foot. i don't see any way this could've been written better. i might be new to the while megaman thing, heck..i've only played command mission and that doesn't explain alot.
thanks to your fics i've a better idea of the characters and their pasts, dispite not knowing which are official characers and which you might've made up for the purposes of your story. i also got a better understanding of how a reploid might live it's life.
very well written, all the characters are well rounded and stick to the personalities you've given them.
bristol and willow's accents made me giggle sometimes. i'm english and i've never once heard anyone ever say things such as 'pip pip', but her swearing is wonderfully accurate.
*places some cookies at your feet, trots off to peek at the rest of your fics*
| Cobalt Vector chapter 23 . 7/22/2004
Well played, Super Bard, well played. Words of compliment fail me now, as they so very often do when all that can be said has been and those who stand idly by while a work of genius is weaved have spoken their peace. So let me just say that you've done good work, more than I could accomplish, and leave it at that.
I'm not going to say it's flawless, as those words are dangerous in the context of writing, but let it suffice that it was very solid. Any story that can invoke emotion is truly a great one, and that's precisely what DOTP did. For, beneath its many sublayers, the fic is indeed all about emotion.
But, what isn't about emotion?
| TrueMallowman chapter 23 . 4/13/2004
Well now. *whistles* This was even better than TSOM, and that was excellent. Of course, if you ever do a sequel, I've got a feeling we may not have yet seen the last of Kazok and Dash. Or, I could be completely off-base about all this. Meh. Off to your X2 fic. But I'll say this: Only one other fic on the entire website is a match for this, and both of you are some of the best writers I have ever seen. Well done, Super Bard, well done.