Reviews for Another Little White Lie
tommyjude21 chapter 1 . 7/23/2014
Awesome! I think you could have turned this into a chapter story, but I enjoyed it the way it was. I love your writing, I wish you would continue
temporaryinsanity91 chapter 1 . 10/7/2009

the end was fantastic. love love love it.
UnEEdEdXTouCH chapter 1 . 5/17/2007
That was really good. I like Tommy when he has liquid courage...except he makes stupid decisions! anyways lol. Really good.
Arcadia1981 chapter 1 . 3/12/2007
its hard to condense so much emotion into such a short story, but you managed to make it work. your story is awesome. you should think about writing judermans.
newsjukie20 chapter 1 . 3/31/2006
I liked it!
Starving For Attention chapter 1 . 3/28/2006
Woah, D. You've done it again. Taken an overused plot and made it wonderful. Tommy SO knows that Sadie's just an outlet for him, just a way to keep Jude from his mind. He knows that he loves Jude, and he also knows that that love is forbidden, so once again, he hides. Not the smartest move on his part, but it'll keep his butt safe for now. And now his conscience will EAT at him until he CRACKS! lol Good job! I really liked this one!

angelic-amber-2008 chapter 1 . 1/31/2006
wow...i like this...
NeoQueenSerenity0289 chapter 1 . 12/11/2005
your21 chapter 1 . 11/6/2005
Is this a one shot? o well its good! i like it!
SNN chapter 1 . 11/1/2005
Dude! Intense! I hope you post more soon! Hint, hint!PMN&KOP!
melaj chapter 1 . 10/31/2005
this was really good! i also really really like your full length fic. well, if you wanna review my i.s story you can. anyway, this rocks!
gidgetgirl chapter 1 . 10/28/2005
You have a good command of the language, but I wasn't really a fan of this one. The first line really turned me off. "The gorgeous, extremely sexy man"? You're writing in third person, but you let your opinion as an author squeak in there. It would have been much more effective if you'd actually described Tommy in concrete terms, instead of going a more melodramatic, subjective route. It made it hard for me to take your fic seriously at all. A lot of the other descriptions seemed likewise off. I mean, you describe Jude's cherry red punkish hair like something out of a romance novel.

This whole passage: ". Her soft, clear blue eyes and long auburn hair. The way she listened and always understood him. The silkiness of her skin, the magic in her lips... The fire that raged in his blood every time they touched..." sounds like it came out of some cheesy Silhouette romance novel. It seems about as un-Jude and un-Tommy as I can imagine.

I respect the idea you put forth here that Tommy is afraid of the things Jude makes him feel, because he doesn't want to get that emotionally involved, and that part of things you pull off relatively well, but you don't really ground it that much in the canon. It would have been a lot stronger if you had, for instance, mentioned his losing control during Unsweet Sixteen, or delved into some of the reasons that he is so obsessed with controlling his emotions (ie his relationship with Portia).

I also think you let your opinion of Sadie cloud Tommy's thoughts about Sadie. You said something along the lines of "she may have been a bitch to Jude, but she was sweet to him," but Tommy's never actually seen Sadie be a bitch to Jude. In fact, the one time he saw them interact, Jude was the one he scolded for treating Sadie badly, not vice versa. It's completely out of character for Tommy to think of Sadie as a bitch. Just because you think she's one, or Jude does, doesn't mean that you as an author should shove that thought into Tommy's head.

I also don't think it's accurate to depict Tommy and Sadie's relationship as just fun, with no emotions. They talk to each other on the phone a lot, so it's definitely not just physical, and we've also seen some evidence that they really talk about things.

It's also important to remember that when Tommy and Sadie went on their first "date" and started flirting majorly, Jude was with Shay, so it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to say that Tommy is only with Sadie because he's afraid that otherwise he'll be with Jude.

Okay, rant over. Now onto the good parts of the fic. Like I said in the beginning, you have a really good control of the language. You have a sense for how words should flow, and the rhythym of it all was quite beautiful. You made a real effort at giving Tommy some psychological depth, and though I think there were some holes in your reasoning, I'm impressed that you took such a solid stab at it, and there were some sentences in here that rang very true to me. "She sure didn’t act like any teenager, or even any woman he had ever known. Too perceptive. Too aware." was great. The next part " Her voracious eyes penetrated too deeply into his psyche..." was overkill.

Anyway, I thought there were a lot of good things about this fic, and a lot of bad ones. On the whole, I didn't care for it very much, but I do think you have talent as a writer.
supposed rockstar chapter 1 . 10/28/2005
Ha... I've inspired!

I really like it. (And you know I want it to be longer than a one shot!)

I love how you ended it... How he's now "over" Jude then with "Another little white lie"... Oh the doors of oppotunity!

You happen to be my favorite author on here. I know that if I'm stuck, I can read something of yours. We seem to be on the same page with style, etc.

We should co-write one day. It could be fun.

Email me: bri
RedLA chapter 1 . 10/27/2005
That was really cool, I liked Tommy's POV