|Reviews for Soul Searching|
| rezakeene chapter 2 . 9/15
A very sensible start, How did I miss this gem? It is beautiful
| Guest in Europe chapter 2 . 8/13
Returning to your stories as I felt I needed a break.
Now I remember why I needed a break. You put together excellent plots but your settings and characterisations are just too American... even Californian/Florida style. I loathe your obsession with topless sunbathing - fgs man, how is it relevant? Women have breasts... get over yourself and grow up. I find this obsession even more disturbing as you say in your profile that. you are a teacher!
The sun does not shine all the time in the UK and while some people have pools, it's really the exception rather than the rule even for quite wealthy people, largely because the weather is so grey for much of the time. You write Hermione's parents as something from an old US High School soap... yuk! Pity, these details spoil your otherwise excellent stories.
| bleme chapter 1 . 6/28
I discovered FanFiction about 2 years ago and I figure I average reading about 40,000 words a day so I have probably read about 500 stories so far and the bulk of those have been Harry Potter - mostly because there are so many more available. For the first 3 chapters of this story, I thought that maybe I had already read it because everything seemed so familiar. As the story progress and chem prof kept noting who had inspired different parts, I realized that I have read everything written by those authors and that is why this one seemed so familiar. By the 4th chapter, this story really started to distinguish itself from the others though. It has far better grammar/spelling than most fanfiction and has a compelling story line. Out of those 500 stories, this has been the best so far at showing how difficult the H/G and H/Hr relationships can be by walking that tightrope between them.
| Sarcasm Dragon chapter 12 . 4/4
The sudden discovery that holding hands while thinking happy thoughts strengthening patroni his just too fortuitous to be believable (yes, even in a story about wizards). The fact that nobody had ever done so before in the history of wizards is not really believable, especially since the charm is a known defense against dementors. If there had been some other factor that amplified the power (perhaps a combination of cheering charm felix felicis for example) and the circumstances were more unique it would have been more believable to me.
The story is good-sorry that my first review is critical of a specific point.
I initially liked the H/Hr are brother/sister thing, but that quickly started to strain credulity with the walking around topless part. You made a valiant attempt to work it in and make it believable, but it doesn't really jive with the generally awkwardly embarrassed Hermione from the books and movies. I would be more likely to buy it completely if instead of her having always been that way at home her European "liberation" was shown as a new addition.
Nevertheless, your manner of introducing it is very good, and certainly something fans of the ship will enjoy.
| Ice Demon Ranger chapter 26 . 3/27
Awesome story. Looking forward to reading the next part.
| Ice Demon Ranger chapter 3 . 3/25
Where is this story 'Sunset Over Britain' posted? It isn't posted on this site. Bobmin356 does not have a story listed with this title on this site.
| Simianpower chapter 11 . 2/3
I've gotta say, I still really hate Ginny. Not so much yours, but the fact that yours is so far just a minor extension of the one in HBP, who was basically a cipher. She was a fangirl who got it mostly under control (basically by NOT being in the books much), but then she popped that line about "You wouldn't be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort," which proves that she still has no idea who Harry is. Even though you've examined that line, Harry is still into her, and she hasn't developed at all from there. And honestly, I don't really care if she does.
The occasional nod to harmony shippers with the obvious intent to keep this HG just rubs me the wrong way. It's not even the ship so much, since that can go either way (or some really different ones, or none at all) depending on how one develops the characters. What bothers me is that you haven't developed Ginny AT ALL and yet are writing an HG fic. I know that the past 10-11 chapters are all just setup, and there are 15 more plus the sequel, but I've reached the point where I just don't care any more. You took too long getting to one of your main characters, had 50k words (i.e. a whole book) of setup with a different ship than you're intending, and it just feels wishy-washy. I've lost interest in seeing where it goes. I know I said that about another of your fics a few months back, and I'm sorry, but I guess your style and my interests just don't mesh.
All in all, 5/10. Well written if it were the start to an H/Hr story . Good characterization and use of language. Pacing needs work, and it seems that you either aren't sure what ship you want or are being intentionally coy about it, either of which is irritating to a reader. Possibly realistic, since they are teens. But so far this whole story has been the H/Hr ship; you put so much effort into developing the family dynamic that it's wasted verbiage if it's not going anywhere, and the H/G aspects are red herrings if it is. If you're going H/G then Ginny should have been developed way more by now. Either way, something's off.
| Simianpower chapter 8 . 2/2
Personality isn't inherited.
And, seriously, "stupefy"?! That bit was pretty lame. Have they learned NOTHING from the DoM? From Remus and Tonks? From Voldemort? Hell, even from Draco? Harry at the very least should know better. If they're going to play children's games of tag they should just go to another country with the Grangers and not return. Why even bother with an ambush if you're going to waste your first few shots on something that's easily reversible, something you've SEEN reversed to your detriment before? Ugh! I'm calling this the story's second major strike. One more and I'm calling it quits. Still in general well written, but too many unbelievable bits that really break immersion.
| Simianpower chapter 7 . 2/2
The DoM fight would have gone a lot differently if they hadn't used stunners. The fights were all one or two per side, so that part wouldn't be much different. It's just that they had to defeat the same enemies over and over. Same problem that the Order always had against DEs, too squeamish. It wasn't tactics that lost them that fight.
There's no way in hell that Harry would correct himself to call Snape "Professor" after sixth year. No chance.
And Augusta, while a better teacher than Snape, is still very invasive. In fact, if she were mind-raping Neville from a young age, she was no better than Dumbledore or Snape.
| Simianpower chapter 6 . 2/2
Why would Tonks make a big deal about Harry being able to apparate? They were taught in the Great Hall at Hogwarts their sixth year, just like everyone else. If this were the summer after fifth year that reaction would make sense, but here it just seems weird.
| Simianpower chapter 5 . 2/2
While renting a house isn't nearly as difficult as buying one, you still have credit checks to get through. Randomly making up a name wouldn't work. Whatever name they gave, it's the name on the documentation that would go on the paperwork, and that's a glaring arrow pointing to Hermione Granger. You can handwave that away by saying that they confunded the agent or something, but without that critical piece none of this scheme would work.
Also... why, oh why, would you have the Potter family 10x as rich as the Blacks? So cliche, so corny! There's absolutely no indication anywhere in canon that they're even an old family, let alone a rich one. They were living in a two-story house in Godric's Hollow, not a manor or mansion. Lots of people knew them because they were gregarious, but that's all. One a pureblood, so there may be some old money there, but there's nothing indicating that they're rich. If they were that rich, then why the hell didn't they have the best goblin wards that money could buy, multiple properties they could visit on a random schedule, each with an escape tunnel beyond the wards, etc? A rich family in hiding would have had the resources to do WAY more than huddle in a single two-story house with minimal warding. This isn't believable. I hope this is the only part that's not believable, because in general the story is well written. I'm not a huge fan of brother/sister H/Hr, but I guess it could work and I'm willing to give it a try... but too many corny cliches like this chapter will see me bidding this story goodbye.
| Simianpower chapter 1 . 2/2
"That means he's ignorant of anything muggle." Orly? Harry already knows that Riddle grew up as a muggle orphan. His formative years were as a poor muggle. That means he probably knows more about muggles than Harry does, because Harry grew up in a closet. Stupid assumption, potentially fatal if they count on it.
| lightskiller chapter 26 . 12/5/2015
| Specky Clarke chapter 25 . 11/6/2015
You went against your own logic and writing with the way this story ended. Will continue with End Game hoping for some common sense to prevail.
| Specky Clarke chapter 21 . 11/5/2015
With the content of the story thus far the only solution would be for Harry to eventually marry both Hermione and Ginny after an eventful courtship.