Reviews for The Way Things Are!
Master Dakari-Venomon chapter 5 . 4/24/2012
this was a Great Chapter! it was very well done. i hope that you can finish this story. Hope you have a Great day!
PAKKO chapter 1 . 12/22/2011
OGM! this story is AMAZING. please continue i cant wait for Ukyo to talk to Shampoo and what about akane? also whats up with ranma and his eye?
Ranmaleopard chapter 1 . 12/4/2011
this is really interesting i cant wait to see what happens next please continue!
Maltrazz chapter 5 . 6/11/2011
This story is great! I really hope that you are going to continue this. Also, you make some very valid points about the amazons. I admit that they go a bit far at times, but it annoys me how it seems like they are ALWAYS portrayed as the villains in fanfiction. I know that is not the case, but it seems like it at times. I am glad that Ukyo did not get left out. It really seems like she got the short end of the stick in the anime, because she came in so late. over all, though, I love it!

Hoping for more,

Maltrazz
Maltrazz chapter 4 . 6/11/2011
"For me they make the best couple in Ranma." I agree with this statement completely.

Maltrazz
Guest chapter 5 . 3/12/2011
it's been five years! Where is the chapter 6?
feernando chapter 5 . 3/10/2011
wow i really liked, you should continue because is really good,you did a good job
the naru foxxx chapter 5 . 7/23/2010
Grate story. I love shampo she's just 2 cute. and I love

Ukyo 2. I love ranmaxshampo,

And I love ranmaxukyo, so I will probly love ranmaxshampoxukyo. as 4 kasumi and nabiki thay both

R a good choise of girl 4 ranma, but I am not shure that thay will work all that well 4 this story. any way yur

Doing a grate job, the story is incredibuly well writen, and so fun 2 read, it is simply Awesome.
gh chapter 5 . 7/23/2010
Cool
Anime Princess chapter 2 . 7/3/2010
You know, the easy way would be for Ranma to denounce his Saotome name. That way it'd get rid of 3 out of 4 engagements, and then he cane be with Shampoo!
C-2 chapter 5 . 4/5/2010
hope you update soon.
Angelus-2003 chapter 5 . 3/30/2010
This is quite a good story, there should be more Ranma/Shampoo fics out there. However, as that's the only pairing i like, i'm not sure about bringing Ukyo into the mix, hope to see more of this...now on to the criticisms...not bad, hopefully good...while you seem to have gone a long way from the first chapter in cleaning up grammatical and spelling errors, there is still work that needs to be done. It's always best to double check or even triple check your work before posting it. As for some of your other reviewers, all i have to say is that if you don't like this pairing...then why are you bothering to read the story? It does not matter if it's canon or not..the site is called FanFiction...not Canon Fiction, that means the writers can make whatever pairing they want, it's thier choice. Don't dump on them just cause you don't happen to like the pairing in thier stories. Anyways, god story, hope you update it.
Ganheim chapter 4 . 11/16/2008
Chapter 4:

quickly," Please, I'm not completely ready yet.

[What completely? I don't think he's ready yet period. The foreplay goes way beyond what they should be doing, and using the lame excuse of Ranma “not being fully awake” goes against many signs through canon of him being a fast-riser, so this situation wouldn't have even developed. Would he wake up and realize that Shampoo's next to him? Probably. Would he then panic? With the developments made in your story, probably not. However, would he start fooling around with her? No, because – as I already said – he's not ready to go all the way and he'd know to start with that heading down that path would be dangerous and potentially emotionally cruel.]

These feelings are completely new to me."

[Well, not completely new. He's admitted before in canon that he's attracted to her. He's just now allowing himself to recognize them.]

"So do mind when I look at you?"

[I think there's a pronoun missing in there.]

They’re both so easy' thought Cologne

[The italics shouldn't extend through the speech/thought tag, and there's no closing punctuation.]

Shampoo," giving him a lovingly soft kiss on his lips.

[First: the dialog should close with a period. No way is she saying that while kissing him. Second: when people are staring at the floor their head is usually tilted down. Third: mushy.]

into Shampoo eyes.

[Punctuation: Shampoo's]

All he saw there was unconditional love and care.

[Um...okay, possibly true but also sappy.]

Probably a few days, since the fool still refused to keep his glasses on at all times.

[Mousse may display some (okay, many) instances of “not being bright”, but he's not a complete fool. There's more than once in canon that he's had spare glasses, and he's never been known for being lost for any period of time – that would be Ryouga.]

before by any one.

[anyone]

With that she shrugs her shoulders and goes down to the bottom floor.

[Furinkan, like many similarly constructed Japanese high schools, has at least one level of basement, so technically the bottom floor would be a sublevel. You mean the ground floor.]

"Shampoo no able say how happy Shampoo is that Airen no run no more,"

['Airen' isn't a proper noun.]

His speed was now that of Amiguriken speeds.

[Repetition. And don't deify the characters, that makes things boring.]

'Oh little sister, why can't you be that way around Ranma?

[Out-Of-Character. Nabiki disdains Ranma, and barely cares about her own family. The fact that her sister's driving Ranma away is a fact that she's known for a long time and she's never done a thing. Now is way too late to try to make Nabiki seem sympathetic to Ranma.]

any girl in this entire district that know Ranma

[knows]

She could see and feel her little sister's anger from here.

[OOC. Akane may have a hair-trigger temper, but either Ranma actually does something himself or he presents himself as a convenient target for something else that's actually bothering her. If Akane's feeling fine, then she's going to ignore him.]

The most beautiful smile that Ranma had ever seen formed on her soft lips.

[Well, according to this Ranma is quite a flippant guy. Don't you think he has any more connubial loyalty/fortitude than this? Falling in love with one of the Fiancee Brigade I can see, and it not being Akane is okay (that plotline's a dead horse beaten to death), but all of them? That's out of character and flies against the canon Ranmaverse.]

"RANMA NO BAKA!"

[Obligatory Japanese.]

He never even realized himself changing back into his male form.

[Marty-Stu-ish.]

She could see a big cut under his jaw and he probably bit his cheek when her baby sister hit him.

[If he bit himself hard enough to bite _through_ the cheek than he'd be gushing blood - head wounds tend to gush. She used a blunt instrument: if she hit him hard enough to split the skin, he'd be out for at least a few minutes and would probably have significant head and neck injuries. He'd be bruised certainly, but cut is unlikely.]

First he thought of her as a sister, but that changed over time as he grew to know her better.

[OOC - there's never anything between Ranma and Kasumi. He respects and appreciates her, and that probably goes both ways, but there is no romantic feeling from either.]

It was a deep loving care

[Okay, I could almost understand Ranma flip-flopping between Shampoo and Ukyo, but throwing Kasumi into the mix? That's just OOC. Besides being way too mushy.]

Although I'm open to the idea of Ranma going to different members of the Fiancee Brigade, trying to stick him with every single one (or just multiples) is not consistent with canon and would take massive work – this story moves things too fast just with one of the alternatives (Shampoo), and then throwing him at the other female members of the cast weakens his professions of care for Shampoo. One of the things that made Ranma in interesting character is that he's bombarded from all sides but he staunchly refuses to make an open commitment, rather than being as wishy-washy as he appears in most of this story. OOC is widespread, which only further hurts the story.
Ganheim chapter 3 . 11/16/2008
Chapter 3:

The Ramen was of the usual quality that came out of the Neko-Haten.

[Spelling: Hanten]

at her Airen.

['Airen' isn't a proper noun.]

She saw this and gave him a wink before blowing a kiss at him.

[I think it's likely that she'd wink at him. However, I think that she knows that things are coming to a critical juncture and doing something as potentially disruptive as blowing a kiss runs the risk of scaring him off. That's probably why Shampoo doesn't regularly do things like that in canon: she's extremely intelligent, even if she's also desperate as Rumiko Takahashi decided to put her in third place.]

A pair that could not only rule the Amazon tribes with a iron fist,

[Article: an. I also want to point out that there's never been any implication of violent force (beyond culturally-expected martial arts) used between the amazon tribes.]

Ranma expected her to glomp all over him at this moment,

[Although 'all over' is the only directly jarring portion of this sentence, but I'd delete everything after 'glomp' and change it to just 'glomp him'.]

"Ranma no worry Shampoo

[Missing comma after 'worry'.]

behave when Airen and

['Airen' isn't a proper noun.]

" now Ranma what is it

[Missing comma after 'Ranma'.]

one could see saying

[Capitalization: One, though I'd replace it with some text that identifies the amazons instead of an extremely vague 'one'.]

that Ranma seemed to lean into Shampoo's hand and started crying.

[Ranma leaning towards support? That much would be in-character and fitting the scene. Him crying? I think that's Out-Of-Character. I can see him squeezing his eyes shut and the scene otherwise proceeding as normal, but open tears I don't think would happen. Being emotionally troubled doesn't require overt tears, that's just one manner of trying to deal with they psychological/physiological pressure and it's not one that Ranma tends to.]

"Wo ai ni Airen,"

['Airen' isn't a proper noun.]

just enjoying each others warmth.

[other's]

while wiping his tears away,

[I still don't think he'd cry.]

Shampoo just smiled at this and kissed him on his forehead. Ranma's face was shoved into her abundant cleavage while she kissed him.

[I can see Shampoo kissing him: by this point things may have calmed down enough that she'd “test the waters” and try something more romantically forward. However, a quick kiss would probably be the most she'd test – as I mentioned before, Shampoo is no stupid character and she'd know enough not to push herself beyond her luck. She'd also know reaching up to force his face into her cleavage would be more risk than it would be worth. She's already made a large step by holding him just a moment ago.]

she couldn't believe her Airen

['Airen' isn't a proper noun.]

she said with a sigh

[Missing closing period.]

"But with the seer number of people

[sheer]

in Amazon culture it's very natural for a man to have at the least three or four wives.

[I never bought this idea, and I draw part of my support from the line “With future husbands, it's first come, first served” after the amazon twins arc (the arc, I'll also note, doesn't have any manga support). The 'very' is also unnecessary. Further comment on Ranmaverse polygamy at chapter bottom.]

His jaw almost made a crater as it hit the floor.

'No way in hell can that be true. Could the amazons really be that loving and supportive?'

[The most I could imagine would be Ranma feeling relief at having this shadow of a doubt snuffed out. Not absolute shock. He's not stupid enough to think that there's no emotional support between members of the amazon tribe, he's just been staking his hopes in Akane before this.]

"I know what your thinking Ranma,"

[you're]

Shampoo had given them her consent for them to chase him after she married him.

[Hadn't Shampoo's message (if not spoken in words) pretty clearly been 'he's _mine_'? She gave them both the Kiss of Death! And after that she gives them as quick a send-off as she can so she can return all focus to her pursuit of Ranma.]

and both of them are well into that, "

[As the following text doesn't directly modify the dialog, this should close with a full stop. That means a period.]

I've been thinking about this for quite a while now." she said with a frown.

[Should close with a comma to transition to direct speech tag.]

choice after seppuku, son-in-law."

[_besides_ seppuku.]

pay for all of his father's mistakes.

[Interrogative missing its question mark.]

but such a thing in the real world are just unreal.

[My recommendation:]

but following such a thing in the real world is unrealistic.

the kiss of marriage and

[Due to the idea transition I'd close with a question mark after 'marriage' and delete 'and'.]

what about all the potions she used on me? "

[Based on the manga, it seems pretty clear to me that there's no social stigma against using 'magic' or potions like there is in Japan (they have a whole case full of it) and she only uses it once in manga. If I remember correctly, but either way it emphasizes that she's been giving him enormous chances to encourage him to make the choice of his own free will. They've had plenty of chances to force Ranma and never did so. Whether or not Ranma fully consciously realizes this I don't know, but I think it would be insulting to his character to imply that he wouldn't even subconsciously realize it.]

"WHAT? " both amazons screamed.

[Cologne does not scream. She didn't even do so with Happosai, and he of all people would be the most able to pierce her thick emotional resistance.]

But realized something at the same time. Shampoo was never forced to come after him.

[Ranma is without a doubt an idiot on at least a few levels, but I don't think that he's stupid enough to not even suspect this before. Actually, I think in canon he knew and just set that knowledge aside as he fruitlessly pursued Akane. In this story, it would be like my note earlier about the amazon social system: this would be another doubt snuffed out. However, this is something that remains extremely metaphysically threatening, so he'd still probably ask Shampoo.]

" Yes Airen, Shampoo love Ranma.

['Airen' isn't a proper noun.]

Ranma moved from his chair and hugged Shampoo while kissing her all over her face.

[Would he hug her? Almost definitely. Would he kiss her? I don't think it's likely. 'all over her face' definitely not.]

I've been in love with you since the first time I saw you on the log fighting.

[“at first sight” infatuation, which is typically nothing more than lust. I think that Ranma very well could have fallen in love with Shampoo, but it wouldn't be until after she was in Nerima for a while. At the earliest would be slightly before he revealed his curse (I draw support from the emotional turbulance he shows when she leaves after that, and Akane's line when she taunts him doesn't sound nearly as much a taunt in the Japanese dub). More certainly would be a while after she's mailed herself back to Nerima.]

woman couldn't fight, but when I saw you.

[Number: women. Spelling: but _then_]

were her prays answered.

[prayers]

The other girls would blow their tops!

[They'd probably be furious in any case, but taking it a little slower is undoubtedly a more intelligent course of action.]

she paused for a few second," She

[seconds]

What make Ranma happy make Shampoo happy. Spatula girl make good friend to Shampoo.

[Why does everybody think that they'd have to marry to maintain a relationship? Kuonji could remain a friend. Or you could take a route like “Dreamwalk with Me”, which I think was the best that I have ever seen that kept Ukyo in the picture with Shampoo and Ranma.

One issue is that polygamy is rapidly becoming a socially stigmatized practice (and it really doesn't give many benefits, from Bedouin societies to Japanese). Shampoo might (and I say 'might' meaning 'probably not') accept Ranma taking another wife. But I doubt it. However, Ukyo grew up in a post-polygamous culture (Japan after multiple wives were banned) and she would NOT agree to be an alternate wife. She'd want to be first, foremost, and only, and that preference is shared by all of the girls that have pursued Ranma.]

'' : Perfect...

[Don't mix dialog quote marks with thought ones.]
Ganheim chapter 2 . 11/16/2008
Chapter 1:

Genma no baka, never listens to me.

[Obligatory Japanese, and bad grammar caused by/exacerbated by obligatory Japanese.]

But hell you didn’t exactly help either and

[I think there's an implied comma missing after 'hell' and 'either'.]

Hell you don’t know really how

[Repetition, I'd delete 'hell' and be done with it. The grammar is also a little off, either placing 'really' before 'know' or (even better) deleting 'really' would fix it.]

They would only add to his increasing stress,

[Superfluous 'increasing']

Unlike his baka father,

[Obligatory Japanese.]

in her neko form, jumped him in the bath.

[jumped in the bath with him?]

She had her faults and downfalls, but who didn’t.

[If the end of the sentence is an interrogative, it should end in a question mark.]

Chapter 2:

One of the offending rays made it's way

[its]

'Well, today is the day...never thought it would come to this.'

[Well, he did. Ranma's been planning on talking to somebody to help end his troubles for a while. I also think that, considering that Ranma's not seriously consciously considering dumping his other engagements at the moment (he's still in a confused haze at this point in the narrative), so this expresses a little too much trepidation. I think something a little lower-toned like 'well, I've gotta do this today' would be better.]

Finally reaching the bathing area, Ranma got a handful of hot water and splashed his face.

['got' is extremely passive, 'took' more actively states that he put his hands in the sink and washed his face, rather than 'got' which could mean that someone else randomly dropped by and threw hot water at him.]

Washing off the sleep and fully waking up.

[Sentence fragment.]

and letting his silky dark hair fall to about just above his waist.

[Ranma's always kept his pigtail relatively short – since you haven't told us it's a lot longer, if the Ranma we've seen in canon untied the pigtail it would probably only fall to his shoulder blades or midway down that area of the upper back. It wouldn't even be nearly long enough to reach the waist.]

So that it reached just past his shoulder blades.

[Sentence fragment.]

he heard noises coming from the kitchen. Getting to the bottom of the stairs he made a quick turn towards the kitchen.

[Repetition of 'kitchen']

, you stupid jerk where are you. Kasumi needs you.

[Punctuation, capitalization.]

'Ara ara, what was Ranma doing?

[Obligatory Japanese. No, you can't use 'but that's what they said in the original Japanese'. In the original Japanese Ranma said “Watashi wa Saotome Ranma”, not “I'm Ranma Saotome”. Your story is in English, so in all things that translate use the English. The only Japanese things that can be transliterated without translation are things like attack names and honorifics that cannot be translated.]

'Akane can't you see how he's tried to make up with you lately.

[Interrogative missing its question mark.]

Just as she was about to continue with making the meal.

[Sentence fragment.]

"Ara ara,

[Obligatory Japanese.]

She could handle most things thrown her way, but like with Ranma showing up. It took her a while to get use to it.

[Punctuation: there is a full stop at the idea on 'way', so that should close with a period instead of comma. The idea continues with only a pause at 'up', so that should be a comma instead of a period. Verb tense: used]

He was moving faster than the tenshin amaguriken could ever go.

[When abbreviating the name of the move, it's cut down to 'amaguriken'.]

Ryouga had no idea it was only the tip of the iceberg of what Ranma was able of doing.

[Um...yes, Ryouga's amazed. You practically outright said that Ryouga knows he didn't see/understand everything, so this whole sentence ends up unneeded repetition.]

I have to show Akane than I'm better then him. So she'll choose me and then I can show her how much I love her.'

[The period after 'him' places a stop in the middle of a continuing idea, a comma would serve better transition. I also think that some sort of punctuation should be placed after 'me' because there's an idea/flow transition there that should be indicated by some punctuation (I think either comma or semicolon.]

Mastering this technique would not only make his reserves sky-rocket but also he might not change when cold water hit him. Ranma was absolutely glowing with joy inside with that thought.

[Changing based on contact with water is just part of the series, removing that I think breaks down a central element of the Ranmaverse.]

Another one of Genma's multiple ideas that caused only pain to him.

['many' would fit better than 'multiple'.]

but he couldn't really stay near a cat for too long. He could pet them now,

[Petting one implies getting very close and letting them stay close. Ranma has strong agorophobia, and to simply throw that out weakens his character. Okay, so he's got a 'chi healing' technique. That's not going to eliminate it, it would probably take years. What would happen initially would just be that he won't immediately lose his mind with fear – following that would be staying near one, and much later allowing one to get close. Close enough to pet would be even later, and then voluntarily touching one would be even later.]

but I'm not certain what was wrong though?'

[This isn't asking a question, so there shouldn't be a question mark.]

why was he such a jerk.

[This _is_ asking a question, so it needs a question mark.]

"There all yours."

[Missing comma after 'there']

"I use to love you Akane,"

[used]

"Man am I glad

[Normally you use inverted commas to indicate thought. Personally, I think the italics alone are good enough, but be consistent. Don't use 'double quote marks' for thought.]

But he'd never took advantage of that, she was the one who paid the bills.

[Actually, there's no canon evidence that she ever helped with household expenses.]

His face didn't show the pain he felt but his eyes could hide it.

[_couldn't_ hide it?]

it was already to late for that.

[too]

stop fooling around ok,"

[Missing comma after 'around'.]

I'm leaving ok."

[Although the 'ok' is its own little segment, instead of recommending an alteration to punctuation I think that you should clip 'ok'. This would remove the repetition (there's been a lot of dialog ending with that) and the more simple expression would be more Nabiki's character.]

let me just get our bentoos," he said smiling.

[It's transliterated 'bento'.]

he punched his dad in the gut hard.

Genma toppled over in his Panda form while holding his gut.

[Repetition of 'gut']

the two bentoos in his hand.

[Spelling: bentos. The 's' on the end is an English rule, technically Japanese doesn't have any plural form.]

"Ara ara," was all that Kasumi said as usual.

[Obligatory Japanese.]

Akane blink blinked twice,

[Superfluous 'blink']

Shampoo was off her bike and glomped onto him. Rubbing herself all over him.

[The 'onto' is unnecessary. And besides the fact that the latter sentence is a fragment, Shampoo doesn't rub herself _all over_ him, she almost always sticks with just nuzzling against his chest.]

"I have to have you full attention, please listen to what I have to say," he said softly into Shampoo's ear.

[From what you've said, they're standing next to each other, too far away for Ranma to speak into Shampoo's ear (it would be awkward). However, it would be perfectly sensible and characteristic for him to speak softly.]

and nodded her head, telling Ranma to continue.

[As opposed to nodding her hand.]

but it's gonna effect a lot of people,

[In this context, you want 'affect'.]

and NC-17 thoughts started forming in her mind.

[Corny narrative.]

As they continued on, she kept on seeing her Airen sneaking peaks at her body. Her smile just got brighter every time she caught him, but as all good things it had to end.

[Once was enough to say 'Ranma's more interested in her and now signs are starting to betray him', but this repeat is too much. In canon Ranma's admitted he's attracted to Shampoo, but he doesn't (normally) let his eyes linger. The brief two mentions you already gave about him glancing at her breasts and butt are enough to clue in the audience to his changing attitude.]

"Ok Airen wait at table.

['Airen' is Mandarin for 'beloved'. It's not a proper name or noun, so it shouldn't be capitalized unless it starts a sentence.]

why can't you just say those wonderful words to me'

[Interrogative missing its question mark.]

'Why is Shampoo looking so beautiful today.

[Interrogative missing its question mark.]

that definitely is strange for your Airen.

[It's unusual for Cologne to refer to Ranma by this (I can't actually think of a single instance that she's _ever_ called Ranma anything other than 'son-in-law'. 'Airen' is Shampoo's pet name for him.]

"NO WAY YOU OLD GHOUL," he shouted out

[Missing closing punctuation. This is also OOC, Ranma was never that antagonistic with Cologne; she was probably the one person in the Nerima Wrecking Crew that Ranma genuinely respected. Ranma might reflexively snap 'no', but if he's been thinking about this – as you say he has – then he'd give a much more mild negative and then get to the point.]

she just couldn't believe it. Ranma said he respected someone.

[Kind of like Haseo (.Hack/G.U.)]

I'm willing to come to a mutual agreement if you are?"

[I don't believe that he's asking a question here.]

Almost immediately Shampoo appeared with three bowls of ramen

[Why is it always ramen? Granted, it's a dish shared between China and Japan, but China has so many thousands of dishes to choose from. And if they're going to be discussing things "over a meal", doesn't that typically mean that they pause eating to discuss?]
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