|Reviews for Liquid Flame|
| Dea Mariella chapter 4 . 2/4/2006
wow! i want more! this is a great story! but was saitoh really only 17 when he started? hmm...
| Vashka chapter 4 . 2/3/2006
Hey! Sorry for my late reply, but better late than never, eh? I really, really love this story- it is progressing so nicely! The action with Saitoh was fan-tablous :P He is such a dry and complex character as you have depicted him. I loved the details that you put into this chapter- the Robinson backstory, the chief having a daughter at the school, the fights scenes... everything!
I especially loved the description of Tokio's fight with the monster from Saitoh's POV. Very inspired. And the ending line- I love it! I saw some reviews that they think Saitoh wouldn't 'fall in love' this quickly, but I disagree I think. Infatuation and fascination can occur this quickly (I know about that!) But deepening to real love and understanding is another thing. He's just really, really caught by her :P Great job!
| carol chapter 4 . 2/2/2006
cool chap better then the others, but there is just a little problem about saitou there, i honestly don't think that he would have fall in love this fast, he isn't the tipe of man who falls easily i think he needed to know her first, on that particular moment he admire her courage and inteligence, but she didn't really kill the monster, it was shot, burned, stabed on the eye. honestly, sure it's you story, but she only gave the final hit, and saitou of all man would recognize that, and the part when he only cared about her well he is more practical than that, he most likely would have called for medic for her and the other girls, i think he loves her and is pationate but he needs to trust her first and that especially with him takes some time. sure he's a hell of a lot younger there but it's pretty much the same thing u know it's saitou. Sorry this was really long and definitly wasn't my intention to make a critic but to give a sugestion, and sorry about my really bad english. i hope u keep the fic always this good \o/
| jainga chapter 4 . 1/31/2006
Oh...Saitou isn't the only one in love...I just stumbled across your writting the other day, and I've yet to find something I don't like.
Hakame dake is funny, I love how you portray K and K's inner thoughts.
Slumbering city is intriging even though it's only one chapter long so far.
And this one just takes the cake.
Thanks for the entertainment.
| KC Evans chapter 4 . 1/30/2006
I think the last line is the best part of this chapter - gotta love Saitou and Tokio, whee! _
The action scene was fantastic - it moved at the right pace and allowed us to absorb the details without losing the train of sequence from the first blow to the end when they made Black Lizard Shish Kabob.
Also loved Saitou's view on Tokio's "last stance" with the monster, how she looked so brave and calm in the face of a raging lizard when she felt scared and almost gave in the urge to run. The contrast of views was beautifully done and allowed us to look in both their minds for a realistic portrayal of the event.
Looking forward to seeing what happens next!
| Laegdin chapter 4 . 1/30/2006
Hmm, so I found this story soon after you updated chapter 3 but I didn't leave a review. Sorry. :) But here's one now...
Having the dictionary at the bottom is fine with me as it is quite easy to scroll down. Also, I agree with _skenshingumi_ about leaving chapter 3 and 4 as is. It definitely increases the suspense in chapter 3, especially towards the end where Tokio's first glimpse of Saito is him standing over her with a sword in his hand. :0
One of my favourite parts is where Saito makes a mental note to write to his mother. LOL. You have to wonder what sort of woman gave birth to Saito. I also liked how you foreshadowed the forest spirits helping Saito when earlier in the chapter Robinson mentions that, although they may not have completely successful, the spirits may have been protecting them as best as they could.
I look forward to the next chapter.
| skenshingumi chapter 4 . 1/27/2006
I definitely like the order of the chapters the way you have it now. It gives more suspense to see everything from Tokio's POV since they are in the midst of an innocent adventure. Also, we are not entirely sure if the monster is dead at the end of the last chapter. Seeing things first from Tokio's POV also gives more impact to Saito's first glimpses of her. I really think it would take away from the drama to turn it around.
I loved the whole idea of the marshmallow stick being the thing that brings the monster down. I also liked how the forest seemed to help guide Saito to his destination. I am assuming this is the way the spirits of the forest thanked the girls for the marshmallows. I thought the way you ended the chapter was a hoot, juxtaposing the image of Tokio in battle with the line that Saito was in love. I like how Tokio has a warrior's spirit side to her. It seems fitting that Saito, like Kenshin would fall for someone with that discipline, pride and will.
I find the side characters very interesting. I thought you gave personality to Robinson and at least added interest to the Captain, First Lieutenant Valenti and the other men. It makes action around them more compelling. Also, I like how the exchange about the rabbit’s foot seemed to warm up Saito’s character.
In case I have been explicit, you have succeeded in capturing my interest with this story. This whole universe is fascinating. I can’t help wondering what Hiko’s mountain is like in this world. Will we ever get to find out?
| valheru chapter 4 . 1/27/2006
I like your story a lot, that said, I noticed you asked for people to point out lines they liked. I like the last paragraph then followed by that last sentence. It's quite funny.
Please update soon.
| Teardrop chapter 4 . 1/27/2006
It so totally figures that Saito would fall in love over death and violence. He has such a 1.5 track mind.
I'm so happy to see this chapter! This is my favorite of all your stories, though I enjoy Hakame Dake, and I really enjoy finding out what you have in store next for Saito and Tokio. I shall definitely look forward to the next chapter.
| i v o r y . w i n g s chapter 4 . 1/27/2006
Hahaha! The end was really funny! "Hajime Saitou was in love." That line almost killed me! Great job!
| Ciel Celeste chapter 4 . 1/26/2006
Aah, I love how you included a bit of Japanese history in here. Yes, I know who Tomoe Gozen is - rather clever of you to use her as an allusion, I must say.
Saitou and Tokio finally meet! I hope to see some sparks fly next chapter - good work as usual, Indy. :)
| Reignashii chapter 4 . 1/26/2006
histerical laughter* oh man i loved the ending to it! hahahaha He’d shot the Black Lizard, stabbed it, and even burned it with a flamethrower earlier on when they’d cornered it at the edge of the forest. And still it kept on going. But this girl, who looked all of fourteen in her braids and baggy t-shirt, had killed it in one stroke – using a marshmallow roasting stick.
Hajime Saitou was in love.
hahahahahaha! a marshmallow roasting stick hahahahaha this story just gets better and better! man im just loving this story more and more! im so looking forward to the next chapter! and when kenshin comes and when kaoru's older and when they finally meet ... how old is tokio anyways? i keep wondering that!hahaha anyways great chapter! i absolutely loved it! hehe this is just making me love saito/tokio stories more and more! hm what is tomoe gozen? i wanna know! but guess ima hafta wait till the next chapter ne? i cant wait! not only that im glad you updated i needed a break from homework and you gave me a good excuse for a while! tehehehe well see you later!
| valheru chapter 3 . 1/11/2006
This is great. Saito and Tokio finally meet! I lov your story line, please update soon.
| Ciel chapter 3 . 12/1/2005
Just a question: how old is Tokio? If she's older than Saitoh, she must be in her twenties, because Saitoh is barely 17. I know, annoying question, but I really am curious to know. ;;
You know where to place your words to build up the suspense, and your writing style is beautiful. Hope you update soon!
| Ciel Celeste chapter 2 . 11/25/2005
FABULOUS. I absolutely love this story - I'm such a sucker for Tokio x Hajime fics. Please, update this soon; you've left us at a cliffhanger!