Reviews for Product: Shinobi
cody chapter 9 . 3/23/2014
Woos
sendicard chapter 9 . 12/9/2012
Well this story was generally amusing. I have to say it was worth my time.

One thing before I go though.

"Hopefully the next chapter won't take so long. Hang tight." That um.. That didn't happen.

I just checked your profile and it appears that this will never be updated. Alright, that sucks. I'll get over it.

Since I don't really read stories of your newer favorite, it appears this is goodbye. Sad, oh well.
sendicard chapter 8 . 12/9/2012
Nice job on the psychological part of the chapter. I am guessing Sakura is reacting to the fact that the assassins were traitors?

Why is the radio illegal?

Why exactly did Neji care about Sasuke saving Sakura? I can't find any reason.

Based on the reaction at the sight of Sasuke, I have to assume that would be Itachi.

Yep, definitely Itachi.
sendicard chapter 7 . 12/9/2012
Hmm, she is growing attached to Naruto. It is very slow but, definitely happening.

Just an example. "Obviously her captor should deserve at least that title." The very fact that the word deserve is used, shows signs she is growing attached. Of course it is incredibly slow but that is natural. Of course you planned for it so you already know, but I like how very subtle it is. I can't even consider it wrong for a bond to grow, because of how nice Naruto is.

I hope he freaking mastered that leaf wrapping thing.

That is a very long memo there. It tells of a lot of events. If they killed off Rain, their missing nin rank had to have gone up. At least S.

Sadly, Hinata's fear of them has to have grown as well. Even if they did somehow not kill her.

Three Kage's dead huh?

Anyway, that was a pretty massive chapter when it comes to events. Um... Wow.
sendicard chapter 6 . 12/9/2012
One hell of a chapter. I do love that quick wit of Sasuke. "Now it's a sword." Like, woot.

A Sasuke centric chapter so no epic memos... Damn. Quite curious as to what is wrong with Sakura. You definitely leave us hanging on this one. Glad you already made the next Sasuke chapter so I won't have to wait too long.
sendicard chapter 5 . 12/9/2012
...They caught the tranquilizer shots? How the hell!? Duwha!?

I seriously doubt Hinata would be all shy when her teammates were just killed. That... Seriously? Fear I can see but you have her blushing and shit. Who the hell blushes when they're scared?

Well the ending memo with Itachi was once again fitting. I do enjoy his memos. Glad Yuki won't be kidnapping him for sex in this fic. I honestly thought it was kind of weird in the other fic. Like they're relationship was just about sex.
sendicard chapter 4 . 12/7/2012
You overuse commas. This results in comma splices and generally improper sentences. Kind of interesting to see actually. Basically, you create artificial pauses and place commas in said pauses.

As for the chapter, I enjoyed it.
sendicard chapter 3 . 12/7/2012
That actually was kind of funny.

As with multiverse law, what does exist will most likely exist in some kind of form. It is simply easier that way. The seals make them both kind of like the Jinchuriki they were in the original world. Otherwise known as Cannon.

Well, I do like the memos as they give a nice feel to it.

Quite amusing to watch them kill people... Yes, I should do it more often.
sendicard chapter 2 . 12/7/2012
You had a lot of minor spelling errors and typos. Example? "Sorry Tenten-san, but I he doesn't confide these things to me." Just errors like that. This stories main error point.

This story makes it increasingly apparent that your best skill isn't in descriptive fighting. In your other story it was always someone dominating another, it never really was a ninja battle. So, of course I would fail to notice some description faults. Could technically be just this story, but I am not exactly worried about it regardless. Easy to ignore. Definitely doesn't detract from the story at all.
sendicard chapter 1 . 12/6/2012
Sup?

Ya I saw this and I just kind of had to check it out. Rather soon I know. The prologue was pretty interesting, definitely catchy. I noticed a wording error around the beginning of the chapter. The fun part? I'm not going to tell you what it is. Muahhahahahaha!

Anyway, I am going to bed now..
Kinuta U chapter 9 . 7/21/2009
Omg that was excellent nice job very well done
Echeziel chapter 9 . 4/4/2009
Ooh! I love this story! It's got an absolutely AMAZING plotline! Good work! Can't wait for the next chapter, really!
r2d2cool chapter 4 . 3/11/2009
One was a blonde with blue hair.

lol
r2d2cool chapter 3 . 3/11/2009
this is pretty cool.
Evilshroom chapter 9 . 6/28/2008
Too... much... awesome... BOOM!

Ninjas Guns Um... See above response.

This story rules hard, period. It's a fresh take that says "SCREW YOU!" to canon and yet has obvious parallels to it.

I love the swapping of Sasuke/Sakura, and it makes both of them cool, rather than intolerable characters. I want to see more gunblade- it gives me FF8 feelings. And I LOVE FF8.

One more thing- I love how you're portrying Itachi in here; you've obviously put a lot of effort into the character and it shows.

Stay awesome, and don't bother replying to this, as the PM system is f**king up recently.

-Evilshroom
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