Reviews for World Come Undone
fallen-1 chapter 20 . 4/18/2016
Again, not sure if this is meant to be slash or epic bromance, so I'm not sure whether to call Luke a matchmaker or peacemaker. Either way, though, very cute!
fallen-1 chapter 19 . 4/18/2016
Love this chapter. I'd love it even if it only contained Obi-Wan indirectly calling Anakin a fool.
fallen-1 chapter 18 . 4/18/2016
The Self-Denial is strong in this one. You don't keep protecting someone like that unless losing them would hurt you as well. I mean, Anakin has thrown tantrums in earlier chapters about other people taking Obi-Wan from him.
fallen-1 chapter 17 . 4/18/2016
Anakin barely knew Qui-Gon. That's a fact that I see ignored a lot. A lot a lot. Once again, I like the balance you've struck between Qui-Gon having a strong influence on Anakin but that his loss definitely affected Obi-Wan more deeply.
fallen-1 chapter 16 . 4/17/2016
I can't get over the mental image of Obi-Wan patiently fixing Anakin's leg, Luke watching over his shoulder and Anakin sort of pouting down at the both of them. If I was more in practice with drawing, I would make fan-art of this scene.
fallen-1 chapter 15 . 4/17/2016
There's a fine line between love and hate. Anakin Skywalker dances a merry jig back and forth along this line multiple times in a single conversation. yep, that's some weird possessive murder-love there.
fallen-1 chapter 14 . 4/17/2016
Awwww. Seriously cute. You've got a good awareness of how four-year-olds actually are, too. So many writers either have them as barely more than infants or way, way too articulate and reasonable for their age (the worst writers give them adult thinking patterns with nearly infantile speech patterns.) But Luke's got a good balance of smart-for-his-age and completely naive. I like it.
fallen-1 chapter 13 . 4/17/2016
You know, if this isn't heading towards slash, you've written the most romantic bromance I've ever read. Either way, I would like more.
fallen-1 chapter 12 . 4/17/2016
Obi-Wan powering through a horrible situation despite being wounded, tired as hell, and dragging Anakin's giant self on sheer will-power alone? Sounds like a normal Tuesday for General Kenobi.
fallen-1 chapter 11 . 4/17/2016
Woo-hoo! Not even halfway through and the bad guy's defeated. Not many stories can pull that off, but considering the conflict is between Obi-Wan and Vader/Anakin, I think it suits the story to take that step.
Also, love that Vader's finally realized just who has actually been lying to him on everything. It's not enough to get past the anger, but it's a start.

Unrelated, but there's an awkward part here where I think there was supposed to be a line-break. The sudden POV switch from Obi-Wan to Vader left me confused for a second.
fallen-1 chapter 10 . 4/17/2016
Force ghosts! Always showing up to tell you things you'd rather not hear. Rarely having the grace to stick around and let you yell at them. How rude.

I like that Sidious completely fails to grasp the difference between Luke's father and Luke's Daddy. But even he acts like Anakin died for Vader to exist.
fallen-1 chapter 9 . 4/17/2016
Oh Vader, so close. So, so close to the much needed empathy. At least he recognizes that Luke will NOT BE HAPPY with whoever harms Obi-Wan.
I love that he never even stops to wonder why Luke has labeled him "Sad Man". Like, "of course I'm the "Sad Man", that title is entirely appropriate. It is not a revelation whatsoever that I'm driven more by hurt than anger."
fallen-1 chapter 8 . 4/17/2016
I think we could use more reminders that Luke's as much a Force-prodigy as his father, if not more. Even in canon, he was using the Force since he was young. The only reason he stopped and started suppressing it was because his uncle didn't understand it at all. I like this gentle encouragement much better.

Honestly, if what the canon has shown of Owen and young Luke is the usual way force-sensitive children were treated by non-sensitive parental figures, I kind of stand beside the Jedi order and accepting children so young. Unintentional child neglect/abuse is still neglect/abuse.
fallen-1 chapter 7 . 4/17/2016
That exchange at the end. Perfect. Exactly what arguing with little kids can be like.
fallen-1 chapter 6 . 4/17/2016
Come on, Vader. You should know that there's such a thing as a delayed reaction and lingering injuries. Not every death happens immediately after the injury that caused it. A crushed windpipe can lead to slow suffocation. Add in the strain of giving birth...

But yeah, anything to escape responsibility, right?

And of course Obi-Wan blames himself for everything. It's obvious he should have known there was a Sith Lord tempting Anakin and reacted accordingly.
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