|Reviews for Black Ascension|
| Chloe Parker 05 chapter 6 . 9/8
Dumbledore? A geriatric? Brilliant B-)
| Teligoth Ren chapter 19 . 8/8
Uh, any chance of continuation? Either way it's a good read. Well done. :)
| Dissapointed chapter 1 . 3/19
Okay... let me start with: I have read this up till ch9 and only posting my review on ch1 because I could not be bothered opening ch9.
I will give you a little comparison for the start. A normal book and this. Do you know what is the difference?
No? ... Well, it is one word: Plot.
This has no plot. Ah, that is not correct. To be more precise, the progression is so fuckeen slow it seems as if it didn't progress at all.
CH9 and Harry is still only about to finish dealing with Gringotts and about to get a new wand. (Or I think it was ch9. Couldn't be bothered to check if it was 8 or 7. Basically, it is not worth the time to check. Let's say I have read it up to almost half of the story.)
Anyway, my problem is that half of the story behind me and still NOTHING important happened. Now, this story has 160k words so that actually means around 80k words (which is more often than not a length of a whole book, definitely more than the first HP book has) and the plot still did NOT progress past a few days. That is not a sign of good fanfic. That is a sign retarded author who over-describes every little unimportant detail. Period.
Black Guild: Well, the idea about that was actually good. Even Sirius is Harry's daddy was nice and not that often seen. The problem, however, is that the author added so much unimportant crap to describe every little nuance of the Guild it became quite boring and I found myself scrolling down at the speed of bored Flash.
Now... the author could have gone and deepened the idea about the Black Guild. He made the Slytherin line to be subordinated to the Black Family but nobody knew it because no TRUE Black Lord was found for centuries. You get my drift yet? This was a PERFECT plot-point that could have been branched in so many directions it is almost sick. The author could have added more families to be subordinated to Blacks... for example, Bones who would be Necromancers and by the awakening of TRUE Black Lord, their magic would also awaken and they would have to deal with some Necromantic urges (It would provide INCREDIBLE plot-twists since Amelia Bones is head of DMLE and Bones Family is light-sided one.) Now, I did not expect the author to do exactly this. This was just something I pulled out of my ass in 5 MINUTES of thinking about how the idea author used could be enriched.
But what did the author do here? 'You got Slytherin Vault because of that... blah, blah.' And that was honestly it. He introduced one of the most innovative ideas in HP fanfics, created shitton of useless history for the Black Family, and all of this only to give Harry Slytherin's Vault. Then, he put the whole idea to the side.
I won't even describe how Harry picked up magic books needed for his study and power up. All of that could be done in 1-2k words tops but the author somehow had the urge to write 30k completely USELESS words about it. There was nothing enriching the plot or the story. So... yeah, most of this story is just not really creating any value for the story itself.
I mean, some may like it, alright? They may like the make-up history of a wizarding family. They may like tons of description of it, of how it all works... but my issue is that an entire book could be written with the amount of words the author used for this, and yet, he did not progress the plot almost at all. Count me impressed.
Now... as for the scenes.
Remus and Tonks after the Order meeting...
Remus seemed like a neurotic psycho who didn't get his daily dose of cocaine. I mean... seriously? Tonks was fine, I guess. I mean, the whole thing seemed more like: Oh, poor Remus, let's fuck him silly and make him feel better! ... There was no real feeling in it and the whole set-up felt pathetic and artificial.
Bellatrix's suicide. I liked this one. I may not like she ended up dead as I would probably enjoy her being the MC's bitch (slave, if anybody didn't understand) more but that is only my prefference. All in all, that scene was incredibly good. So... hats off, I guess.
Narcissa and Draco after finding out they are disowned. Nothing to really say here. It was 'realistic', to the point, and had the correct feel to it. That was nothing ground-breaking but it was ok. But that's fine. It's normal expected scenes like this that make a good story. Narcissa chose to run away. NOW THAT was what enriched the plot. Now the author just has to create something around that fact.
In the end... the story is meh. The progression is slow. The idea is incredible. The way the author presented the idea is atrocious. It has good scenes, incredible scenes, and meh scenes. I personally would say 'Don't bother reading this crap' but well... that's just me.
| Guest chapter 19 . 1/14
Is this dead?
| Alex Romanoff chapter 3 . 9/25/2020
| a.vago chapter 5 . 8/10/2020
How should We play this RPG?
Rename character: Harry is ... boring.
Review inventory, review stats, review tech-tree, direction to Mt. Doom...
| muffdyvr chapter 15 . 8/1/2020
how can a female deserve being raped?
| Guest chapter 7 . 7/18/2020
This is pretty gruesome. I'm having trouble stomaching some of your descriptions of DE attacks.
| AsherSalazar-Malfoy chapter 10 . 6/2/2020
This is almost reminding me of the Warriors book series-
| AsherSalazar-Malfoy chapter 7 . 6/2/2020
| AsherSalazar-Malfoy chapter 4 . 6/2/2020
| Alex chapter 6 . 5/13/2020
The order of the roasted chicken. If you look that up (and like chicken) your mouth will water.
| Traveler301 chapter 4 . 5/8/2020
Yeah, I like it. I can't wait for Dumb ass Dumbledork to try to control Harry. Should be fun.