Reviews for Alternative
MissyManchester chapter 1 . 3/23/2016
fuck. fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck holy shit. when i read it, i was able to picture it in my head. so when i imaged the last part, i almost screamed. ur story is horrific, horrifying, terrifying and FUCKING TERRIFIC! i luv it. it chilled me to the bone. i can barely describe it! i luv this 'what-if' you explored. a great, creative and original idea. props to u, girl! or boy! i've never seen anything like it! it would be cool if you continued this story. wat would happen to Subaru as he tried to be a normal kid in Tokyo? or would he stay with obaa-chan in Kyoto? and 'somewhere, the smell of dead flesh lingered' is a great ending! that 'dead flesh' is Subaru's hands, right? what if Seishirou managed to recognise Subaru without the inverted pentagrams? would he still keep the bet? OMGGGGGGG! plz continue and explore these new what-ifs and ideas! i'd love it!
lady-ribbon chapter 1 . 11/12/2012
Holy shit, this was so disturbing, so horrific, so...

Absolutely brilliant.

Just IMAGINE how Seishirou's going to react to THIS.
reminiscent-afterthought chapter 1 . 9/26/2012


*still gaping*

Okay, it's not like the idea has never occurred to me (thanks to reading so many Harry Potter fics with magic focusing in the hands) but to actually see it written...

Why am I reminded of Star Wars anyway?

Little nitpricks:

[ ] - space there.

On a more general note, take this sentence as an example: [She chuckled mischievously as she began pushing him forcefully.] You're repeating the style there; you've done at a few other places too. I think it's more effective to mix the style up, otherwise a reader (like me :)) can think it's done on purpose and then get distracted. That normally works better for things not centred around a scene of action, things that are written as a sort of poetic prose. Eg. you could have said [began forcefully pushing him] and it flows better, more prosaic and less distracting in that sense.

I really love how you built up the second scene, the emotions of the grandmother and adorably cute and perceptive Hokuto. Subaru's a given - he's my favourite character (the poor guy, considering what I /do/ to my favourite characters). Nice touch with the dead eyes. I would have liked to see some more scenes though.
dogcollar chapter 1 . 5/18/2011
omg. Chilling but definitely good! I can't believe that I didn't see that coming. O_o
Shingo the Pest chapter 1 . 4/20/2008
O_O A very shocking idea. Disturbing, but I enjoyed reading it.
Codename Sai chapter 1 . 7/27/2006
CAN YOU IMAGINE what Seishirou would have done if he'd found out about that? I always loved this one, because it's so weird.
HaibaraAi chapter 1 . 3/6/2006
That was so cool. I've got shivers running up my back. You write very well and it was really creepy throughout. I give you 2 thumbs up! I'd give you more but I've only got 2 thumbs. X3 Nice alternative... write another one!
EarnestInBerlin chapter 1 . 1/26/2006
That was CREEPY... Now I can't play Scrabble for the next few days...
Twylise chapter 1 . 12/5/2005
OH MY FREAKING GOD! ~Crawls under the computer table and starts whimpering~ This is like the fanfic equivalent of Saw. Brilliant and well crafted and clever...but I won't be sleeping easy tonight. T_T
Abbie Soler Star chapter 1 . 12/2/2005
oh... My... God...

its sick, its freaky... I love it! but sick all the same... a gold star for you _
bgtea chapter 1 . 11/8/2005
That was very very disturbing. Honestly, you did a fantastic job setting up the atmosphere of the fic...and the punch line made the situation worst. There's just something about this story that lingers at the back of my mind after reading it. Nicely written fic and well done.
shinzona chapter 1 . 11/6/2005
Oh my, you didn't... :o

nevertheless, it's interesting to see that Subaru could have had an alternative in escaping the drastic the method would have been, which exactly points out which sacrifice he would have to make..*sweatdrops*

Your piece gives a fresh new perspective to the story, well done!
Tankyasue chapter 1 . 11/4/2005
I know someone's going to think I'm sick for saying this, but I absolutely love your idea. I'm aware that this is intended to be a oneshot, I can't help but wonder if this method would have worked better than Subaru's gloves did...
Siren's Paene chapter 1 . 11/4/2005
Holy crap! More twisted than CLAMP. The end freaks me out... This can't be a one-shot!
fireun chapter 1 . 11/3/2005
too tired to log in. sorry dear!

fantastically creepy and soul wrenching piece! *shiver* wonderful work, as always! keep it up! sorry i suck at getting around to actually reviewing
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