Reviews for MaryAnne and Caroline
revbev353 chapter 10 . 7/13/2010
LOL... Drama..
Raro chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
lol, It's like the BSC are on drugs...
dreamer 3097 chapter 10 . 8/19/2007
this is a good story
lovehatebananas4 chapter 10 . 4/10/2007
very dramatic...waiting on that cliffhanger! :)
Lala Lola chapter 10 . 1/8/2007
I think it's an okay kinda story, but you had ALOT of grammar errors, and I'm not talking about the "ehmygosh" The story is suppose to be from the first person point of view, but there were times when you messed that up.
blah blah chapter 10 . 6/6/2006
o...interseting...please write more
Me Myself and I chapter 10 . 2/16/2006
pretty good story, good theme, good plot, good style. So, why not update? The only thing I don't like is how you smetimes rush and Caroline. I mean, you've made up other characters, but they're not nearly as perfect as you've made her. But still, please update!
Claudia's twin Christina chapter 10 . 1/24/2006
Umm...I really hate to say it, but you did kinda make Caroline a bit too perfect. "She's pretty, popular, so cool, got the lead in the play, a great actor, made friends with stacey, and she's only moody cause her mom's in the hospital." And you make all the ORIGINAL characters look Dawn and made them bitches. And you are so racist when it came to Claudia...I'm Japanese, and it's really hurtful to read about stuff like that...:(
Guest chapter 10 . 1/17/2006
This is stupid! You seriously can't write! NONE of this makes sense, and this bitch Caroline? You made her little miss perfect at first, then you make people hate her, but she is easily forgiven by I have no clue what's goning on in that air-bubble on your neck that you call a head, but you should change this, stop making all the characters, besides your own little miss "I wish this was me!" look bad! Plus, are you racist? or something?
Bittersweet x chapter 10 . 1/17/2006
Bad Dawn again! Another cool chapter.. I'll get my sister 2 read it! Update soon!
ChetvornoHoro chapter 1 . 1/15/2006
I read it and I think the plot is interesting and your story has a lot of potential, but you need to work on details, grammar, spelling etc. I recommend you add some details and spice up the dialogue and expand your vocabulary. Without those essential qualities, your story will end up boring and rushed. So make sure to add details and fix up some of the dialogue if want to keep me and others interested.
lovelyforgotten chapter 1 . 1/15/2006
are you writing dialog for a screen play or are you writing a story? it's all so fast and there are no deatails. the characters sound childsih too. i dont think a real converstaion went on through out the chapter. it was just fractions of mindless jabbering. its got an alright summary, but the writing isnt living up to the title yet. keep working on off to a good start.
BrotherLouie chapter 1 . 1/8/2006
This has to be the most boring story I have read on this site so far. It just drags on. Use spellcheck.
rattus vox chapter 9 . 1/6/2006 the grammar mistakes are on purpose? What's the POINT of that? I could understand if it was, like, Claudia's POV, but it does NOT fit Mary Anne. So stop it.

Also, like I said before, you still need to expand your know, people don't always scream, they can yell, cry, shout,explode, holler, call, shriek, bellow...
Bittersweet x chapter 9 . 1/6/2006
O.. BAD DAWN! BAD GIRL! Great chapter.. BAD DAWN! I really like it, seriously, and UPDATE SOON!
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