Reviews for Loss
Guest chapter 1 . 2/24/2017
Very emotional story. I'm
AsteriaPrincess chapter 1 . 5/20/2016
I almost Cried T.T I'll admit I'm not that close to my Father, like Hinata. My Father is more to my Younger Sister and obviously like anyone else. They focused more on her than to me, being the most Intelligent Person in your Class/Grade doesn't mean anything to them XD Haish~ Anyway, I absolutely Liked your Story :)
SmilesLasting chapter 1 . 8/1/2014
This was beautiful. Thank you.
kitoriwitch613 chapter 1 . 12/24/2011
Wow. This was amazing. Great story!
Joja-Lee chapter 1 . 11/26/2011
Ahhh absolutely loved it :D
PPJIKJ chapter 1 . 5/16/2010
Hiashi you bastard, you deserve everything that you got! Rot in hell for all I care! Love your fanfic be the way, write more Hinata ones. ;)
nur chapter 1 . 8/12/2009
i like how the story goes,however i also hate it because it make me desperately want to know the continuing of the story. in other word...PLEASE CONTINUE THE STORY! Oh!and yes, explain more about hanabi and neji feelings towards hinata k!
IluvBatman chapter 1 . 4/23/2009
Ok wait, I'm confused, is this a NejiHina story is Neji simply just acting as a father? (although I can probably imply)

Other than my confussion, I really liked your story. It was so sad and so touching. ~sniffels~
tanithlipsky chapter 1 . 4/18/2009
hiashi is stupid
Gonrie chapter 1 . 4/17/2009
Beautiful and Precious.

THat is the two words that come up in my mind when I finished to read it. WOnderful job, I was completely draw into the fic
Hesunohana chapter 1 . 1/10/2009
I love the fight between Hiashi and his nephew.
Angel Fantasy chapter 1 . 5/11/2008
Poor Hiashi... *snif*

Even throught everyone sees him as a harsh and cold leader, I knew that he had a soft heart. He just didn't knew how to express his feelings, and because of that, he ended loosing his firt daughter. Poor thing...

He should be written in a fic where he would be stuc with Naruto with no way of returning home (like caught in a big blizzard, and getting separeted from everybody else, being rescued by the blond, and cared for as he fighted against a very big illness). That way, when he would return home, he woudn't have so much difficulties talking with his daughters.
winterkaguya chapter 1 . 8/7/2007
beautifully written...simply awesome!
Essyllus chapter 1 . 1/4/2007
Not much of a fan of Hyugacest, but the gentleness between the two was sweet.

As a point of constructive criticism (or extreme honesty), I found the sequence of events quite confusing. I got the generality of it, but it left me a bit lost at times because it'd ramble off. Maybe I rushed through reading this, but I couldn't tell the transitions between present time and memory.

Maybe you could have organized it a bit better? I noticed some some subtle problems with your grammar- mainly verb tenses. It's not consistent and I think that's why it isn't as smooth as it could be.

Just to provide an example...

[Hinata became a bit more confident as she trained with Neji. Her steps more sure and her movements were more powerful. Her stance grew more solid, and her hands had trembled less and connected harder.]

Shouldn't it be "had become" to indicate something that happened in the past?

Sorry if I'm being a grammar nazi. :(
naash chapter 1 . 1/3/2007
that was really good. i love the beginning on how you approached the story with a hint of angstiness towards it. but are like neji and hinata together together?... i dun like incest but it's too good a story to be ignored
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