|Reviews for Over There|
| SweetFebruarySong chapter 2 . 3/31/2006
I love this story, plus my name is in it -Alec reporting for duty! please keep it up there are not many stories out there for Over There. this is good.
| Curiously Strong chapter 1 . 2/25/2006
Come on. Don't give up!
| Curiously Strong chapter 2 . 1/26/2006
I hadn't seen this second chapter and it's been up forever. Come on. This is a great start. Keep it going please...
| Sierra Nichole chapter 2 . 12/29/2005
Another good chapter, but some other points have come up. I'm not trying to be overly-critical here, but it's important that if you're going to write a military story, you get some of the facts right.
1: Sara wouldn't call Scream "sir". In the military, if you call a SGT, SSG, SFC, etc. a "sir" you either get your ass chewed or get punished. They "work for a living". Only officers are addressed as "sir" or "ma'am".
2: Why did they have to go look for Scream's squad? If it was just to introduce their comrade, they definitely wouldn't make a dangerous 3-hour convoy just to do it! And Scream should always know where his squad is anyway. If they were going on a convoy to find them for other reasons, they would NEVER go out with just one vehicle.
3: Sara said she was in charge of squads. That's impossible if she is, as you say, a private. Even if her sergeant was "lazy", the next highest ranking person would be in charge. Whereas a private is the lowest possible rank, so she would never be put in charge of an entire squad.
| Sierra Nichole chapter 1 . 12/29/2005
Just a few minor issues with this. I'll start with the bad, and finish with the good!
1: Sara was pretty disrespectful to the officer she encountered, going on and on about her cat's shit . . . I guess it could be an attitude problem, but unless that was one sorry-ass LT., he wouldn't have put up with it.
2: If Sara's been in for 8 years, like your story says, she'd be at least a SPC/E-4 by now, if not a SGT. Once again, unless she's one sorry-ass soldier who's been bumped down in the ranks. But even then, I doubt she'd be just a private.
That's really it for the bad. Your writing is pretty good, careful with some punctuation, I noticed a couple errors, nothing major.
Onto Chapter 2 . . .
| MolotovMimi chapter 2 . 12/6/2005
I like where you are taking this but I have a tinsy winsy concern: Pvt. Hayward's rank. Eight years seems like an awfully long time to be a runt.
| SuperSixOne chapter 2 . 12/2/2005
This is so awesome! If you do not continue, I shall throw my television at you, with Anderson Cooper on!
The Chick who Hates Anderson Cooper
| daveymalucci510 chapter 2 . 12/1/2005
Keep up the good work. I love any story about Scream and as far as ideas for a story. I am dying to see a story where Scream is taken as a P.O.W or even just a plain hostage. By the way, thanks for your reviews on my story. Glad you liked it.
| daveymalucci510 chapter 1 . 11/13/2005
I love any story that has my baby, SSG SCREAM as the leading man. Can't wait for the update especially if there is plenty of angst for Scream. Hope you enjoy my "OVER THERE" story, too. It's called, "Christmas Past"
| Lapus chapter 1 . 11/13/2005
O! This sounds like its going someplace great! Love it so far. Hurry with next chapters please!