|Reviews for Le Tresor Deletore|
| Evanlicious chapter 1 . 1/25/2006
Well, I have to say, I got rather lost. I had a hard time following the story, first of all because of a great deal of video game terminology that I'm unfamiliar with, and also because it seems to switch to other topics without any kind of page break or anything, therefore looking like it's all one jumbled thing. I can tell that the operators are able to 'play' Trigger and Cross, and that their winning or losing has a huge bearing, and I can also tell that they're involved in the future time of Trigger/Cross as well, but mostly I'm confused. I don't know what a bulk eraser is, along with many of the other terms you use.
Your use of dialogue, however, is quite good. You also have a lot of decent descriptives, but make sure each important character gets some sort of physical detail.
Keep at it.