Reviews for Until the End
BlueRyuu chapter 15 . 9/19/2008
:) a review is worth the story! no matter how short it was and there was no definition of what they did to preserve that last day :O though his hair unbound was a VERY nice touch...

1) Unbound hair; how Crossell was so compliant; Albel's momentary madness; that funny part with Laselle, even if it didn't make much sense.

2) um... just, basically how short it all was. you skipped over many places that really couldve used some description, but i did like it all the same.

3) hate? bah.

4) love...? That he was sucessful at bringing her back and that his inner demons were wrong

5) hn. not much portraying of a certain red-head, but i love how deep Albel is, and how powerful Crossell came across. Silver Talon was cool too! for such a short mention, that was one cool dragon.

6) great plot - couldve been put down better. seriously, absolutely great idea, but again, way too few descriptive scenes.

7) on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest, i give it a 13 (ha! how ironic, i realized its a friday XP) a lucky 13 then. just dont break any mirrors

8) STILL wish that last chapter couldve said some of the things they talked about. it just jumps from 'please take us there' to 'time to go'. wtf? poor Albel. 24 hours passed in the span of seconds. cant say what that wouldve applied to the fast for though lol. it didnt happen at all XD

bye bye! damn, i so wouldnt taken captain of the wyrm brigade..
Lisa chapter 12 . 6/30/2008
This is realy good. And i love the humor! You should be proud cuz ur a really good writer.
Lisa chapter 2 . 6/30/2008
Wow this is really good! Keep it .
AngelofMercy86 chapter 15 . 5/29/2006
Aww this story was so cute, sweet, and sad!
reiniku chapter 15 . 2/5/2006
you had me close to tears like a bajillion times in this fic... u have no idea! uhh...its so sad...but yet so cute. bittersweet i guess would be the best word to describe it. but i loved it...
BlueTrillium chapter 15 . 12/2/2005
All righty, checklist time again! Your wish is my command!

Though honestly, I don't know which chapters you mean when you refer to the 'bad' ones...I liked them all. :)

Here we go...3...2...1...

What I liked: Well, as I'm sure you've been told by a lot of people, you do a really good job of describing things, both physically and emotionally. It's great to be able to 'see' what the characters are doing so clearly and to 'feel' what they feel. Also I think you had mentioned at one point that you did not think the humor in this story came off very well - I think I would have to both agree and disagree with you on that one. I'd agree, slightly, because this particular story was so serious that the humor seemed a bit out of place sometimes. HOWEVER, it did provide a good break for the readers from time to time. Also I think the humor that WAS here was very well-done and integrated. I especially liked the conversations between Albel and Crosell, like when Crosell kind of hinted that he wanted Albel to ask him for a ride to the Mosel Ruins. ;) So I'd say definitely don't give up on humor if that's what you want to write.

What I didn't like: Hmm...well even 'dislike' might be too strong of a word for this, but like one other reviews said, that secretary-guy who 'found Albel's weakness' when Albel visited Nel's body seemed like he was going to have a larger role, and then he disappeared. I suppose maybe it was because some reviews said they didn't like him? Did you maybe think we meant we didn't like you putting that guy in the story? What we meant was we could feel that he had the potential to become a bad guy, and that you were doing a good job of writing him - after all, we're supposed to dislike the evil dudes, aren't we? If my saying I didn't like him gave you the wrong impression, I apologize. *hug* Or maybe I'm totally off-base there. So I guess I didn't really dislike anything. _

What I hate: Nope, still not in my vocabulary. ;)

What I love: I love that you were able to stick with this even when you were feeling down about it. :)

How well the characters are portrayed: I think I touched on this in the 'what I like' section...but yes, I do think that you do a good job of putting us inside the characters' heads and helping us understand what they're thinking.

What I think of the plot: I think that the story was quite original, especially with Albel taking up necromancy to revive Nel. And each chapter seemed well thought-out and took the next logical step in the story. I think that everyone would agree that it was easy to follow the plot of the story: even when the time switched from Nel being alive to Nel being dead, we could tell what was going on, and I don't think that's an easy thing to achieve!

Overall rating: Well I'm not too good with giving out numbers, I tend to go to extremes that aren't really helpful, so how's this: If I were a teacher and you wrote this for creative writing, I think I'd give you...hmm... A-/B, and that's mostly just because of the disappearing secretary guy and the occasional misspelling/word-swap, or it'd probably be higher.

Okay! So; done with the checklist. Now, what else...

Ideas...How about that other fic of yours, 'Hopes and Dreams' I think, that you said you might continue...? Remember, I said I would have to 'take steps'... ;)

Or you could look in Sorceress Myst's profile; she's got some Alnel ideas posted up there. Also I think there's another Alnel writer who has some ideas posted...darn it, I can't remember the person's name anymore...I haven't gone profile-surfing for awhile...but maybe someone else could tell you who that is...

Or if you've got the germ of an idea started but don't know where you could go with it, feel free to tell me about it and ask for ideas, and I'll try to brainstorm something up for you...Actually, I'm sure just about anyone would be willing to help you with that, as well. :)

And if all else fails, a sugar-high from eating a bunch of gummies combined with some of your favorite music ought to inspire something!

Whew, that was long! Well, I hope it was helpful.

Second-in-Command BlueTrillium, signing out! *salute*
NelZelpher88 chapter 15 . 12/2/2005
NO! -Tears streaming down her face- It...cant ...end ...no

I did enjoy your story, I would have liked to see more detail but what you had was great for your first story. Please make more stories! . I got all teary eyed and such! If I may make a sugesstion, please describe the surrounding area's, and also describe how he felt. I like the detail that you had about Nel fading away!

Again I didnt find anything I hated, I dont ushally find stories I overall hate. Except yaio's ok I do like Yaio's dont get me wrong,...but not for star ocean and not with Albel!

My overall offical rating 7! Here have an offical Albel plushi! -hands him a struggling plushi-
IceBlueWings chapter 15 . 12/2/2005
I love it! It's sad, but I love it! I love everything in this story! Good story!
IceBlueWings chapter 12 . 12/2/2005
Oh cool! I'm captain of the gummi storms! Yay! Hehe! Update!
Miyukichan47 chapter 15 . 11/30/2005
Well, I'm feeling a bit dazed from last night...too much typing...so I'll answer your checklist...so here goes.

What you liked:

Everything! It was an excellent story, a well ploted one at that!

What you don't like:

How many times do I have to say it? I love it, every bit! -

What you hate:

The fact that Nel had to leave Albel then and there, in that precious moment in time! OH! The Tragedy of it all! (human anatony, eh? hehehe nudge-nudge...HEHN.)

What you love:

YOUR FIC!

How well the characters are portrayed:

Very well, as a matter of fact.

What you think of the plot:

Nice!

Overall Rating:

Survey says: 10 outta 10

Other:

your good writting skills...you sure would give Count Noppen a run for his fol! I thank you for continuing this story.

When I read this, every chapter gave me that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. This last chapter made my cry, something that a group of evil bullies could never do...I congradulate you! - (I'm not happy about getting picked on, so don't even go there, -.-')

Letz see, what else...oh yeah: the fact that you don't make shonenXshonen fics or even shojoXshojo- Arigatou again for not tainting my mind (more then it already is, of course...HEY! don't give me that look! I'm 14 for cryin' out loud! o.o

This is long so I'll stop...now.
Anarchy Sky chapter 15 . 11/30/2005
Congrats reaching the end of the story, silver thorns!

I really did enjoy reading this. I LOVED the ending. Sad endings are my favorite. They're usually the ones that stick in my head later on.

You did a pretty good job of keeping folks in character, just a few bits of OOC-ness here and there, nothing major. There were a few things that I felt that you could expand on but the story feels complete (very good!). In most of my writings, I depend heavily on dialogue to get my ideas across. It can be hard for me sometimes to use imagery effectively and describe things well. This was a very good story and I think more detail and such would really add to its quality.

You've got great ideas, talent, and your writing is fun to read. I look forward to seeing more from ya!

Peace out.
Blue Persuasion chapter 15 . 11/30/2005
OMG, that was so so sweet! I love it even if it's sad. It's romantic irony. I do hate the idea of you not writing more (not this story, I think the ending was perfect here, but we want more stories!).

The plot was good and some of the details were great. Maybe adding more details and emotional details would be better. You know, trap the reader in and make them feel what the character is. This is a tricky thing to do. Besides that, I think you are doing a wonderful job!

AND - we want more stories! Or else I will send the gummie bunny ninja squard after you...if they can get to you before the keyboard ;)
Breaeden Swordwind chapter 15 . 11/30/2005
Well ended. It was a terse but compelling series with a very driven idea that didn't do to much extracurricular activites. I would have liked to have seen more of the just-after-nel's-death albel because i felt there was a character shift there that was implied but never explored.

All in all probably a 8/10

Can't wait for more stuff and see where you move from this point.
NelZelpher88 chapter 14 . 11/30/2005
WOW! OMG your storys are wonderfull! In honor of your Albelx Nel story I give you and honorary Albel plushi.

-Hands him the grumpy looking Albel plushi- may he find comfort in your story! .
Destiny chapter 15 . 11/30/2005
OMG! T-T This was such a happy/sad chapter! I loved this story! Even though it was short on chapters xD Not blaming anything, the story was nice ]

Didn't hate anything about it, along with the don't like.

The characters were okay, I thought Albel was a bit OOC, but your the author D You can have the character anyway they are.

I give the story A 10/10! XD!

Onward Gummie Ninja's! Hope to see more story's from yoou!
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