|Reviews for Lady Bugs|
| graciebutterfliedgsr chapter 28 . 5/31/2007
Oh wow! I just read this story I haven't been reading it while you were still updating- I but have gonei nsane waiting for the next chapter! Pleases write something else!
| ina chapter 28 . 4/21/2007
that was a great story, i really enjoyed reading it
| Kat chapter 28 . 4/16/2007
I just finished reading you whole story in one shot. It was really good; thanks for spending the time to write it.
Other than my previous comments the only suggestion I have is to slow down. That's a funny thing to say about a story that took you a year and a half to write, but the plot seemed very rushed. Serial killers usually don't work that fast. Greg and Nina fell in love very fast - almost too fast to be believable. It seems like most of your story took place over the course of a week. Slowing it down by extending the timefram ofthe plot drags out the suspense even if you don't write any more word than you did before.
You could also stand to add some time references like "the next day", "next shift", "two weeks later". If you don't put that in, the story seems to take place in a single shift.
Now I don't mean to put you story down because it is very, very good. I wouldn't have commented this much if it wasn't. Thanks for writing such a wonderful story. It had a really goos father-daughter relationship and the best explanation for the unknown daughter that I have encountered in fan fiction.
| Kat chapter 9 . 4/16/2007
More concrit... I'm betting your first language isn't English because this is very wrong
"he’d learned Nina" and "I learned Nina"
Grissom taught and Nina learned
Very easy fix if the subject of the sentence is the one with the knowledge to pass the verb is to teach. If the subject is the one acquiring knowledge hthen theverb is to learn.
| Kat chapter 6 . 4/16/2007
Happily I just discovered this story. So far it's one of the best explanations for a long lost daughter I have seen in fan fic.
Just a comment on parts 1 - 6. You need a beta - another set of eyes to look at you story because there are some minor - yet obvious to the reader spelling/word choice errors.
Most glaring is fbi and Fbi. That should be FBI, and it's incredibly distracting to read with the letters in the wrong case.
Also so far everything seems to have happened in one night, bu serial killers don't usually work or escalate that fast.
| JuanseyLio chapter 28 . 4/16/2007
very well done!
| JuanseyLio chapter 27 . 4/16/2007
lol, loved it!
| Mrs. Touchstone chapter 26 . 2/22/2007
Ohh, i hope they get that bastard
| JuanseyLio chapter 26 . 2/22/2007
loving this sweety! super interesting story!
| JuanseyLio chapter 25 . 1/7/2007
very well done! more please!
| JuanseyLio chapter 24 . 12/24/2006
loved it babe!
| TDCSI chapter 24 . 12/24/2006
I'm still reading. But It's been a while and I might need to re-read the whole thing again. Oh well. I enjoy it that much.
| TDCSI chapter 23 . 10/29/2006
You have to keep going. I know it's hard when you have just an idea and expressed it but not thought far enough ahead on how to finish it. You will. It's a great story. And I didn't think any of the chapters were boring.
| stareagle chapter 23 . 10/28/2006
I was so glad to see you had a new chapter up. thankfully Greg is recovering his memory and Sara has a clue regarding Yesser. I wonder if yesser targeted Nina after the Mullen case in order to get back at Grissom... ugh what a creepy thought and what a creep!
Hope your muse is happy and ready to crank out another chapter or two- I am waiting! :)
| JuanseyLio chapter 23 . 10/28/2006
i love your story ! thanks for updating ;)