|Reviews for A Father's Pride|
| foxwolf101 chapter 6 . 8/28
oh come on i like this story your were doing great
| ILoveFanfiction chapter 2 . 8/4
Dracodracodracodraco pair her up with draco PLEEEEAAAASE!
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/18
| Wolf chapter 2 . 5/10
| Guest chapter 3 . 3/7
NOOOOOO! I generally don't like dark!harry fics, but this is fantabulous! Don't give it up!
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/27/2014
Even though you have abandoned this story, I just have the urge to critique it.
First off, Riana has crossed into Mary-Sue territory, what with her exceptional speech, being able to clear her mind, but the thing that shocks me the most is that a 3 year old can take a shower without drowning herself is by far unrealistic and mary-sueish. She really shouldn't be unsupervised near water until she's like 10. Every time I came across three years old, my mind supplied five or higher. I haven't studied children but I know that 3 year olds aren't that smart to form coherent sentences, or mature that fast. She should still be having trouble learning to walk, or still trying to talk. If you want her to do those kind of things, then you should've made 6 at the least. I cringe at the thought at how the rest of this story goes.
Secondly, her lessons. The fact that a three year old can to something that an eleven year old can't do (turning a bird into a music box? Most, if not every first year in canon wasn't able to turn a match into a needle. At least you made the box feathered). And being able to produce more magic than a trained, high ranked death eater, really says something about her sue abilities. And a hair changing potion as a THREE YEAR OLD! Bloody 'ell woman, you should've have put in the summary Extremely!Super powered!Harry and Extremely!OOC!Voldemort.
Thirdly, You gave her a CHEETAH as a PET! I know she's older but even Voldemort isn't stupid enough to get his "daughter" a cheetah when she's eleven, let alone take it to Hogwarts, regardless if he's a Dark Lord or not. And a dark mark at 11, Voldemort didn't start taking in people until they were like 16.
And Bellatrix, words cannot describe how badly she is described. Blond hair blue eyes, looks nice, for a second I thought it was Narcissa, (FYI Malfoys have GREY eyes not BLUE and Bellatrix has black/dark hair and dark eyes), but then I looked back and it said Bellatrix and thought that is as far as you can get from describing Bellatrix, did she even read the books, because it clearly described Bellatrix as not being sane and having dark hooded eyes and dark hair.
Even if it is fanfiction, this is way to much. Voldemort shouldn't have any trouble with killing a child.
| Team Daisuke Motomiya chapter 6 . 10/24/2014
who finished this story.. can someone pm me to tell me pretty pretty please? thank you
| Longbottom 4eves chapter 2 . 9/19/2014
| TayMalfoy chapter 6 . 9/17/2014
Damn It. I Wanted ToReadThis IT Sounded Interesting
| rowenasheir chapter 6 . 9/8/2014
Who took over this story as I want to read the rest
| movielover312 chapter 2 . 8/25/2014
I think Riana should be with Draco
| DamonzGurl chapter 3 . 4/12/2014
I don't get it! is lily evans the mother? I like the story though,
| Guest chapter 5 . 2/25/2014
Ariana / Severus
| Guest chapter 4 . 2/25/2014
Diana and Sec.
| SlytherinRen chapter 6 . 2/13/2014
Oooo I feel like cruciating u within a millimeter of your life! This was sucha good story!