|Reviews for Close|
| Ioga chapter 1 . 12/25/2010
Nice brief piece, quite pleasant to read. I liked the cute setting of the characters being very young. The descriptions are quite intense,
Minor nitpicks: "her head pounding with heartbeat and reeling" - should there be a "her" before the heartbeat? Also, combining 'reeling' to it with an 'and' sort of sounds like her head was reeling, rather than Hinata herself.
Thanks for this! It got me curious for more of your work. :)
| selle18 chapter 1 . 5/3/2006
Wow. This was incredible.
This was so well-written. I like how you began, your syntax mimicking Hinata's panicked state; her struggle for control. Very effective.
And the discription of Neji's and Hinata's breathing patterns seemed very meaningful to me. You essentially conveyed their personalities through their breathing. That was so interesting!
I also love the powerful contrast you introduced. Younger Neji and younger Hinata were, individually, pretty much the same as they are now. But, together, they were undeniably different and...cute! I like how Hinata subconsiously sought Neji in her frightened state and tried to take what comfort she could, even when he seemed a little stunned to do much. And, in the end, she found that receiving and giving comfort from Neji proved an effortless task on both their parts.
The dialogue was also flawless. Hinata's stutter and fear and Neji's confusion and slight concern were so evident in the dialogue. Excellent job.
That innocent night left an obvious impact on Hinata, for she remembers it in the present. I wonder how Neji looks back at it...
I never read story about Neji and Hinata as kids. This was short, but so moving. The age difference brings out so much that was there...so much that was lost. You showed that wonderfully. One of the best Neji and Hinata stories. I absolutely love it!
-adds to favorites-
| AnimeSiren chapter 1 . 1/27/2006
This si such a sweet story, i can imagine how a memory like that would soften their hearts for the future.
| DeathScytheMeister chapter 1 . 1/22/2006
Aw that was the sweetest story I have ever read
| swt2chlk chapter 1 . 1/19/2006
awaw i liked that ur good writer
| wowow chapter 1 . 12/4/2005
great story! i would love if you would continue it!
| whispere chapter 1 . 12/1/2005
aw...! this shouldn't be a one-shot, you should continue it! I believe... no, I KNOW it'll go wonderfully! I loved every little moment of this, and I'd be so happy if you continued it! So please do!
| Neji and Hinata lover chapter 1 . 11/28/2005
AW how cute TT so fluffy 8 Thumbs up :)
| Rakusu chapter 1 . 11/27/2005
Tehe. Adorable. There like chibis. Please update.
| Dreammistress Jade chapter 1 . 11/26/2005
Aww. It's so cute I just want to take it home and add it to my teddy collection. Except maybe my teddy would get jealous so perhaps that isn't the best idea.
| Blind Kunoichi chapter 1 . 11/25/2005
This was beautiful.
| ElasticBobaTurtle chapter 1 . 11/25/2005
Aw. That was so...sweet. I loved it. Little Hinata and Neji are like...the cutest things ever. This was really a great piece of work. xD
| Adventist chapter 1 . 11/25/2005
Aww! So sweet! I love Neji!
| AnimeManga lubber chapter 1 . 11/25/2005
...woah...deep...normally I would sream and tell you I lub it (which I do) but the quiet and calm atmosphere just won't let me do that...but I do lub it...
| Dark-kunoichi chapter 1 . 11/25/2005
Poor Hinata. I thought this was really sweet. I love the way you portrayed her when she was three. I think I wanted to hug her myself. It is nice to see Neji as a protector, and not the bastared he became during the rest of his life. I liked this very much.