Reviews for One Last Thing
El' Caliente chapter 1 . 3/5/2010
PLEASE PLEASE FINISH THIS STORY PLEASE!
Dr. B. Shadow chapter 2 . 10/16/2007
Is it like a plan that if there is ever a kiss in the next chapi there has to be a hiatus? lol I would so pay to see Lucius do the macareana lol.

Can't wait until you continue it,

Dr. B. Shadow.
tomfreak chapter 2 . 6/7/2006
update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update !
ocardevoli chapter 2 . 4/22/2006
hi! guess what, i came up with a freaky twist. what if: draco only pretended to join the right side and was on a mission to get the brightest witch to join the dark side? but then, he falls for her. haha. just came to my mind, heeh

i really like ur stuff, ur actually one of the few who actually produce well-written works. woot for u!

awsum
ESP chapter 1 . 12/6/2005
haha. At least the upshot is that living in a house with so many weasleys, malfoy will have to refer to them by first name. ha. imagine

'wealsey!'

'yes?'

'yeah?'

'huh?'

'what?'

'uh-huh?'

'yeah'

'yes?'...
Applekissis chapter 2 . 12/3/2005
Thats was a pretty okay chapter..
the strange chapter 2 . 12/3/2005
Hermione will be extremely lucky if Voldemort and other death eaters believe that she really wants to join their side.
lil-book-worm2k5 chapter 2 . 12/3/2005
brill
darkmistwolf1991 chapter 1 . 11/28/2005
uppy date soon please!

darkmistwolf1991
the strange chapter 1 . 11/27/2005
Good first chapter. Is Draco going to really be good?
Spiffingly Corking chapter 1 . 11/27/2005
EccentricallyYours -

This is a very interesting story. The plot is very unexpected and not that common, but you've done a good job in making it work. The intro is especially funny, and has a way of drawing the reader in so that he wants to read further. A few constructive notes, however, on how to improve the story in terms of readability and clarity:

1)Instead of using parentheses, try inserting commas, periods, and other punctuation to separate the clauses into separate sentences. The excess of parentheses gets confusing, especially when the side-note is long, because one needs to look back to the beginning of the sentence to remember what the original point was.

2)Although you have very good description already, incorporating more verbs and colorful adjectives would help illustrate your story better, so that the reader is not only reading about what is happening, but he can actually see the scene played out in his head.

3) It is clear how you want your characters to be portrayed, but again, include more adjectives and descriptions to help with characterization and to give them individual personalities. Who are they? What do they want, what are their motives? What are their histories? Give us some background on each character (when appropriate, of course). You can try playing with telling the story from different points of view in the first person, or with using the third person omniscient, where you as the narrator know what every character is thinking and feeling, and can relay this information to us when it is appropriate and necessary for explanation. Any others are perfectly fine too, of course - these are just the two examples I am giving. Play around, see what you like. In this way, you can give the reader a much clearer idea of exactly who the characters are and what they are like.

As I said before, this is a wonderful story, and I hope you are not offended by the constructive criticism. It is not meant to be in any way offensive, it simply illustrates a few suggestions for making your story more appealing to readers. Once again, your story is fantastic and you are quite a good writer. Keep at it, and I hope you post an update soon!

- Natalia
black-rose-wilts chapter 1 . 11/27/2005
I see a good plot forming in your mind! I love 'Hermione pretends to be dark but isnt' fanfics, there's just so much you can do with them. She can be out of character because that's the whole point of the story! And then in the end she can be good again or all that pretending could corrupt her and Malfoy has to help her find her old self again (but that is kinda cheesy! lol), or they could be evil together and have little evil babies, oh, or they could get caught and die together! Man, i wish i could write stories, heehee.

Erm...keep writing, I'll be reading!
rarr chapter 1 . 11/27/2005
I LOVE IT! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE SOON AND FINISH YOUR STORY PLEASE PLEASE! AWESOME IDEA
just a question chapter 1 . 11/27/2005
Draco Malfoy being Bill’s Best Man? hmmn, doesn't that give away that Draco became a member of the Order and that he's a spy for them.

Hermione as a deatheater? She's the Maid of Honor on Bill's wedding and her joining the Deatheaters afterwards would put a lot of suspicions on her especially with Snape in Voldemort's circle.
Applekissis chapter 1 . 11/26/2005
Cool start..I liked this first chapter,its preety cool,and the good thing is,it makes me want to know more..so update soon!lol